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Yoshiki's mental health

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Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #90 on: February 26, 2018, 06:00:17 PM
Fair enough and good to hear.  I am November 2nd.  Right in the middle of it all.  You, being born on the 20th are on the cusp of Sagittarius and that probably plays a factor in the way you think and do things, if we go by zodiac signs.

yeah? And then how do you explain Yoshiki? He was born on the same day as her lol I'm sagittarius and I'm nothing like sasasama described either. Nothing went up my ass, I just don't like bullshit and this is a bullshit explanation of why Yoshiki is the way he is and totally off-topic, as it's not related to his mental health at all.

P.S1: Did you just assume my gender?
P.S2: just kidding about P.S1.

As Teemeah mentioned before, we are just having some fun.  I don't 100% believe this shit at all.  Just because I match what books say I am, doesn't mean it's because of the day I was born.  Now if someone wanted to do that, then a true Sagittarius who is not on the cusp won't be the same as one who is.  Capiche?

As far as gender - you talk like a woman.  :P

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Teemeah

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Reply #91 on: February 26, 2018, 06:08:09 PM
Ok, stop it, folks. There's no point in getting all worked up because of some astrology shit, ok? We were just having some fun, do you really need to ruin it with this kind of unnecessary lash out at people who have other opinions than you, pt_93? There was no harm in that conversation but suddenly it became bitter with personal attacks. let's stop this and get the thread back at its original topic then.



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #92 on: February 26, 2018, 06:11:45 PM
Ok, stop it, folks. There's no point in getting all worked up because of some astrology shit, ok? We were just having some fun, do you really need to ruin it with this kind of unnecessary lash out at people who have other opinions than you, pt_93? There was no harm in that conversation but suddenly it became bitter with personal attacks. let's stop this and get the thread back at its original topic then.

Amen!  8)

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline pt_93

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Reply #93 on: February 26, 2018, 06:12:31 PM
Well, the negative qualities that you described can be changed, instead of saying you just fit the books, since you are self aware you should improve instead of being proud of it lol Your explanations make no sense, maybe in that way you are like Yoshiki :)

Ok, fine.



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #94 on: February 26, 2018, 06:13:32 PM
Well, the negative qualities that you described can be changed, instead of saying you just fit the books, since you are self aware you should improve instead of being proud of it lol Your explanations make no sense, maybe in that way you are like Yoshiki :)

Ok, fine.

STOP!

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline pt_93

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Reply #95 on: February 26, 2018, 06:14:38 PM
Ok ok. Sorry ladies



Offline Joker

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Reply #96 on: February 26, 2018, 10:37:40 PM
Yoshiki's metal health is related to what happened to him in his life, genetics, environment...

...and marketing.



Offline helenmoon

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Reply #97 on: February 27, 2018, 10:04:13 AM
 ;D :P

Your scars are beautiful


Offline matsumoto

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Reply #98 on: February 27, 2018, 11:28:58 AM
Yoshiki's metal health is related to what happened to him in his life, genetics, environment...

...and marketing.

YOU WIN.

Edit: I just realized I don't even know what my astrological sign is. But a girl here at work pulls out her tarot deck all the time and I always get 'The Fool', which I find quite hilarious.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2018, 11:31:34 AM by matsumoto »

Woah, I can haz admin colour.


Offline kayabee

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Reply #99 on: March 23, 2018, 03:14:02 AM
I know it's been a while since i've posted.

The jonghyun thing messed me up when it happened. I was a mess. He was failed by multiple systems. He was failed by his doctor and by the law enforcement. His sister called to have a wellness check and they arrived too late.

It seems like if people would've gotten to musicians like jonghyun or hide in a certain amount of time they'd still be here.

When it comes to yoshiki's mental health, it feels wrong to comment on it. When you said that he said it is hard for people to let go of their trauma because they've established themselves in it and identify with it, it really relateable. There was a time in my life where i had to take care of everyone while often almost having to physically fight my step dad because he couldn't put the bottle down. Between having to hide everyones medication in my room to hiding money and car keys, he left us and then got help. When he came back things were great, everyone was doing better but i got worse because I quit high school to help support my mother and pay bills, so when he came back it left this hole in me because i wasn't the care taker any more, i became more depressed as things got better, and even though my life is back at square one (repetitive drinking habits from step father), i am starting to realize that what i had was time to get myself straight and i didn't know how to use it because I never had it.

I've had multiple things happen to me and trust me, I can understand why people like yoshiki are scared to get away from their truama because it becomes so much like a comfort zone that once you leave it you're even more vulnerable.

as for him being a father, it kind of feels wrong to comment on it, what happens just happens. He wouldn't be a bad one in my personal opinion, becoming a parent is scary but once it happens instincts always usually tend to kick in. Yoshiki doesn't need to change per se, just needs to seek help.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2018, 03:16:06 AM by kayabee »



Offline aki

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Reply #100 on: March 23, 2018, 03:30:39 PM

The jonghyun thing messed me up when it happened. I was a mess. He was failed by multiple systems. He was failed by his doctor and by the law enforcement. His sister called to have a wellness check and they arrived too late.

It seems like if people would've gotten to musicians like jonghyun or hide in a certain amount of time they'd still be here.


I hope you're better now. I also had a hard time accepting reality and felt as if I had split off into another timeline. Jonghyun's death just feels so wrong especially because it seems that it could have been prevented. As for hide, no one really knows what his intention was but I guess that no mentally stable person regularly drinks themselves to the point of oblivion. Possibly, his passing could have been prevented too. But facts are that they're gone and it doesn't matter how much we wish we could travel back in time to stop shit from happening (I sometimes wish I could ::) ). I try to keep them alive in my heart (...that sounded less cheesy in my mind).

Now back to Yoshiki. He sure is kind of messed up mentally but then again he seems to have some sort of mental strength that keeps him going. He's still around and keeps creating music, interacts with us, encourages people to never give up and wants to be a role model for that. I think we should really appreciate our favorite musicians/artists/etc while they're still walking this planet. :)



Offline kayabee

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Reply #101 on: March 24, 2018, 01:50:41 AM

The jonghyun thing messed me up when it happened. I was a mess. He was failed by multiple systems. He was failed by his doctor and by the law enforcement. His sister called to have a wellness check and they arrived too late.

It seems like if people would've gotten to musicians like jonghyun or hide in a certain amount of time they'd still be here.


I hope you're better now. I also had a hard time accepting reality and felt as if I had split off into another timeline. Jonghyun's death just feels so wrong especially because it seems that it could have been prevented. As for hide, no one really knows what his intention was but I guess that no mentally stable person regularly drinks themselves to the point of oblivion. Possibly, his passing could have been prevented too. But facts are that they're gone and it doesn't matter how much we wish we could travel back in time to stop shit from happening (I sometimes wish I could ::) ). I try to keep them alive in my heart (...that sounded less cheesy in my mind).

Now back to Yoshiki. He sure is kind of messed up mentally but then again he seems to have some sort of mental strength that keeps him going. He's still around and keeps creating music, interacts with us, encourages people to never give up and wants to be a role model for that. I think we should really appreciate our favorite musicians/artists/etc while they're still walking this planet. :)

I'm a bit better now.  It still doesn't seem real. I got into kpop as an escape from what i mentioned up in my post about having to quit school. It made me feel happy because it felt like everything around me was ruined. I was angry. Shinee and especially Jonghyun's solo work is what took my mind off of things, so when he passed I was devastated.
I know that with hide the ambulance was called but they took forever to get there it seems. if they wouldn't have taken so long they could've possibly saved his life, same with jonghyun. It's sad that people with such beautiful hearts and souls have passed. You're right, after Jonghyun's death I started to appreciate all the musicians I loved a lot more because no one is guaranteed tomorrow, you know?

I think what yoshiki experienced could really mess anyone up, it's sad he had to go through that trauma, but as fans I don't think we have a right to comment on it ya know? Kinda like how everyone has been bringing up him being a parent and all that stuff. To me it's a boundary you don't cross. I think yoshiki is a brilliant musician/artist and who he is as a person is something we'll never know nor do we have a right to.



Offline TaijiSawada

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Reply #102 on: January 17, 2020, 01:50:11 PM
he's constantly doing his best to keep the ship afloat (even though he's been spending most of his time in music-unrelated projects rather than X). Honestly, Yoshiki looks like he's permanently hurt and despite all the efforts he can't seem to heal... It's almost like he has an everlasting PTSD. To quote his own words, "if I can find a way to escape this life without killing myself... Maybe I should invent it". Quite chilling. I just hope that in his entourage he has other close friends other than Toshi.



Offline Ekapri

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Reply #103 on: April 19, 2020, 05:09:15 AM
he's constantly doing his best to keep the ship afloat (even though he's been spending most of his time in music-unrelated projects rather than X). Honestly, Yoshiki looks like he's permanently hurt and despite all the efforts he can't seem to heal... It's almost like he has an everlasting PTSD. To quote his own words, "if I can find a way to escape this life without killing myself... Maybe I should invent it". Quite chilling. I just hope that in his entourage he has other close friends other than Toshi.
This is make me sad,i hope there's someone who trully care for him as Yoshiki Hayashi not Yoshiki from X japan.



Offline TaijiSawada

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Reply #104 on: April 19, 2020, 08:19:48 AM
I'm afraid that other than Toshi he's got no closer friends... And I often think that all of his caring (sometimes to the point of excess) about being constantly in touch with the fanbase literally stems from the need to compensate for the loneliness.

he's a generous person but he's alone, at least that's what I could sense from his social media presence.



Offline nextlife

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Reply #105 on: April 24, 2020, 05:54:14 PM
Yes I agree. I believe the only true friend he has is Toshi. He does seem to be unhappy, and his issues are unresolved. Some posts suggest hes putting it on as he is some heroine of a sad play. But who really knows... I would venture to guess from all that I have read, hes very giving and generous.  Thats an open invitation to get screwed. So he should get someone on his level and try not dating needie women. I do hope he is ok during this COVID ordeal we are all going through I'm in NYC :'(Its just too hard... I hope all of you are ok and staying healthy.



Offline TaijiSawada

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Reply #106 on: April 24, 2020, 06:57:17 PM
Yes I agree. I believe the only true friend he has is Toshi. He does seem to be unhappy, and his issues are unresolved. Some posts suggest hes putting it on as he is some heroine of a sad play. But who really knows... I would venture to guess from all that I have read, hes very giving and generous.  Thats an open invitation to get screwed. So he should get someone on his level and try not dating needie women. I do hope he is ok during this COVID ordeal we are all going through I'm in NYC :'(Its just too hard... I hope all of you are ok and staying healthy.

thanks, hope you're safe too. Where I live (Italy) we're doing a bit better every day even though Covid-19 stroke at its harshest in the very beginning of the pandemic in January; hopefully all of this can settle down in a couple of months.

As for Yoshiki, I know little about his dating habits. I just wish he could find some kind of long-time companionship besides the occasional supermodel and whatnot. Maybe even in love he's a perfectionist and heaven knows how many relationships derail because of unrealistic standards...



Offline TaijiSawada

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Reply #107 on: August 03, 2020, 12:35:37 PM
I think he's calling for help again.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CDYlhQIAebh/



Offline nb

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Reply #108 on: August 03, 2020, 06:37:55 PM
Unfortunately I can't see the insta post...

Maybe I have to have an account to see it?


positively unsure。


ReturnReturner

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Reply #109 on: August 06, 2020, 06:12:14 PM
He's not crying out for help at all. He's offering help to those who need it.



Offline MiaCarlaNy

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Reply #110 on: August 13, 2020, 04:19:17 AM
A little worried he hasnt posted on any social media since the 9th and his appearance on NHK

no insta
no twitter
no fb

his appearance on NHK was beautiful too.



Offline nb

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Reply #111 on: August 13, 2020, 09:41:58 AM
Maybe it's a good sign and he's working on some music or the album. Let's hope the best  8)


positively unsure。


Offline TaijiSawada

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Reply #112 on: January 05, 2021, 06:19:47 PM
I really like how Yoshiki has always been open to his audience about the fact that he's struggling, but on the other hand the fact that he can't find the comfort or the closure he needs is beyond sad.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CJhuPzjgfPs/



Offline beericy

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Reply #113 on: January 26, 2021, 12:09:45 PM
I don't think he's self destructive at all. Or better, I guess he has no idea what 'self-detsruive' really means. He seems to take very good care of his appearance, life and overall health, actually (except for the spine issues, but hey, that's a hopeless cause). I mean, look at him: very nice teeth, very nice skin, probably gets botox monthly, probably eats right and works out (otherwise he wouldn't be in such good shape), sounds like he's followed by doctors regularly, etc. For us shrinks, a self-destructive individual is your next-door hobo who hasn't been to the doctor or dentist in ten years, doesn't shower much, lives off instant noodles and pizza, smokes five packs a day and starts drinking at noon. Even more intentionally self-destructive behaviour is self-harming, provoking overdoses for the sake of feeling like crap, anorexia, bulimia, intentionally quitting your job and dropping out of your social circle because you don't think you deserve those, etc. Compared to these, insisting that you want to drum despite your limitations and making a big deal when you're seriously tired is not much, really.

Yoshiki, bro, you're actually doing 98% better than most humans, word.  ;)

I agree that he might not have self-destructive issues nowadays, but back in the day I'm pretty sure he was self-destructive maybe Hide as well (cuz his alcolholism). He lost his father when he was 10, then he became suicidal ever since and that resulted in his mother indulging him, believe me it's rare even in Asian culture (I mean giving him that amount of money to debut). I believe his mother was feeling so sorry for his little boy going thru such tremendous pain at that young age.

IMO, he was always hurting himself to achieve his "aesthetics of destruction", it's actually an aesthetics of Japanese culture, if you read Japanese books, especially the ones written by Yukio Mishima who ended up committing suicide after finishing his last book, you will understand what I'm talking about, this "arthritics of destruction" represents extremism in Japanese culture, which is not uncommon.

When he lost his father, he was in great pain and all his life after that he keeps having PTSD of that particular day when his father committed suicide. His way of venting is rock and drum and hurting himself. He said he was into only classic music and piano before his father died, playing drums is his way of let out his hidden emotions and pain out. And that he believes he would literally die when he's 33 or 34, around the age of his father's death. So he was really hurting himself intentionally and trying to achieve the peak of his "aesthetic od destruction" by being dead at the age of 33 thru whatever he could possibly do, like playing drums in a irregular way, drinking, having mental issues, putting too much energy to work and so on.

Everything changed after HIDE died, Hide was playing a role of mother in X Japan, he took care of Yoshiki and intended to reunite X Japan w him after 2000. He was Yoshiki's soulmate and Yoshiki relied on him so much. When HIDE died, it was a whole another level of pain, no less than his father. I personally think Yoshiki's biggest pain is the death of his father, where all his pain started, and HIDE'S death,  which took his pain to another level. He silenced himself for two years and time went on, he's changed. He's over 55 now, not as self-destructive as before, he tries to cherish life and continues Hide's life in another form. That's why he's maintaining his skin, teeth and body, trying to perfect his image as a public figure, or maybe he simply just wants to be as beautiful as he was. But judging from his interview, deep down his heart, he still wants to try his best to work, life left him nothing but pain and music. He's a poor man indeed. I know he has a lot of people taking care of his life and his fans worshipping him, but nothing takes away his pain. Perhaps he likes to be in the center of spotlight or whatever, but there's one thing I can guarantee you, is that he's constantly in pain, he never forgets his father and HIDE's death. He keeps thinking about their deaths and memories he had with them on his head, that's why he keeps mentioning HIDE in his interviews and the way he says the things happened between him and Hide is so casual, like it happened yesterday, like HIDE is not dead. He must recall these memories for thousands of times so it was like it happened not so long ago.

Now he chooses to speak up about his pain for whatever reason (he said it's for encouraging others who's in pain to bring them strength), as a celebrity, he's so brave.

Guys, losing father at such young age and keeping it as a secret for decades, losing life long soulmate, disbanding X Japan and losing his childhood friend (who's now back), these things are not fake, I don't think he's convincing himself to pretend he's in pain to put on a show in stage or his life.



Offline TaijiSawada

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Reply #114 on: January 28, 2021, 05:45:03 AM
I don't think that he's not self-destructive nowadays as he was before, he just got better at hiding it. The feeling persists, it's just that we don't see him around anymore smashing drum kits or whatever. He's always obviously in a lot of pain and sometimes he lets it show on IG, but we don't actually know the behind-the-scenes of it all.