Hi everyone!
I had no idea how to name this thread, sorry. Has anyone seen this interview? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMN0k-POsUA
I think it's really interesting. Yoshiki talks a lot about his father in this one and how he – even after his death – impacted him throughout his life. He's been pretty open about his father's suicide in several interviews but there's a part that really hit me. When asked if he sees himself as the "father" of X Japan (around 6:00) he becomes kind of emotional and says that he's still a child. The whole concept of being a father – even just figuratively as the father of his band – seems to be extremely unsettling to him. When asked whether he wants to have children of his own, he seems to be open to the idea at first but then kind of retreats the statement by saying that his songs are his children.
I know that Yoshiki's mental health has already been discussed here but this interview was a real-opener for me. Tbh, I feel bad for him. To this day he's struggling with his father's suicide. Looking at the songs he wrote, it's clear that this event has not just been a source of extreme pain but also an inspiration for a lot of his lyrics. Going through this type of trauma, especially as a child, shapes you for life but I find it heart-wrenching to see that Yoshiki seems to feel as if it all happened yesterday. Do you think there's a chance for him to overcome this (at least partially)? Or maybe he's holding on to this pain because it's an immense driver for his creativity? Growing up like this can make you believe that your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma.
If this topic is too personal/invasive, I'll delete it. Mental health and anything related to psychology is super interesting to me and Yoshiki's personality has always puzzled me so I'd like to read your thoughts on that.
It's a really interesting topic. Actually, he said in several interviews, and also in a recent TV show, that he wants to be a father, he wants children, and he also wants to get married, and have a family just like anyone else. Everyone was really surprised in the show, and he was like: "Why are you reacting like that? Is it strange?", so he definitely has this feeling deep inside of him. But at the same time, he clearly says in We are X, that he doesn't know, what "family" is, but he considers the band and the fans as his family.
What got me the most was: "your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma. ". It was very well said, indeed. I went through hardship in my life, and letting go of my so called "demon" was the hardest thing in my life. It's not an easy task on it's own. His indentity is literally built around it, but he made it like that!
I know it's a topic about Yoshiki, but let's talk a little about Toshi. He was a member of a cult for 12 years, they used him to make money, they beated him up, and threatened him. For 12 years!!! I think, that's just as awful, as Yoshiki's situation. But look at Toshi now. He was able to overcome of all those years, you can see he enyojs singing more than anything now, he's interested in cooking, and making coffee, and he's doing a radio show, which was his dream since he was a child. With his own words, "he's living the best time of his life now". Toshi was able to do it. He let go. And in my opinion, he's not indentified with "brainwashing". I mean, everyone knows, of course, but people see him as Toshi, a "cinamon roll", who loves sweets, tea and coffee, has an interesting sense of fashion, and last but not least has an amazing, unique voice.
Yoshiki is still grabbing on his pain tightly, and he lives in the past. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that he will be able to let go someday, and roll this heavy rock from his shoulders.
(He should spend more time with Toshi, they're best friends after all, and I think he could help him.)