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The band => The Members => Yoshiki => Topic started by: aki on February 11, 2018, 10:24:09 PM

Title: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: aki on February 11, 2018, 10:24:09 PM
Hi everyone!

I had no idea how to name this thread, sorry. Has anyone seen this interview? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMN0k-POsUA

I think it's really interesting. Yoshiki talks a lot about his father in this one and how he – even after his death – impacted him throughout his life. He's been pretty open about his father's suicide in several interviews but there's a part that really hit me. When asked if he sees himself as the "father" of X Japan (around 6:00) he becomes kind of emotional and says that he's still a child. The whole concept of being a father – even just figuratively as the father of his band – seems to be extremely unsettling to him. When asked whether he wants to have children of his own, he seems to be open to the idea at first but then kind of retreats the statement by saying that his songs are his children.

I know that Yoshiki's mental health has already been discussed here but this interview was a real-opener for me. Tbh, I feel bad for him. To this day he's struggling with his father's suicide. Looking at the songs he wrote, it's clear that this event has not just been a source of extreme pain but also an inspiration for a lot of his lyrics. Going through this type of trauma, especially as a child, shapes you for life but I find it heart-wrenching to see that Yoshiki seems to feel as if it all happened yesterday. Do you think there's a chance for him to overcome this (at least partially)? Or maybe he's holding on to this pain because it's an immense driver for his creativity? Growing up like this can make you believe that your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma.

If this topic is too personal/invasive, I'll delete it. Mental health and anything related to psychology is super interesting to me and Yoshiki's personality has always puzzled me so I'd like to read your thoughts on that. :)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: sasasama on February 11, 2018, 11:48:12 PM
Hi everyone!

I had no idea how to name this thread, sorry. Has anyone seen this interview? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMN0k-POsUA

I think it's really interesting. Yoshiki talks a lot about his father in this one and how he – even after his death – impacted him throughout his life. He's been pretty open about his father's suicide in several interviews but there's a part that really hit me. When asked if he sees himself as the "father" of X Japan (around 6:00) he becomes kind of emotional and says that he's still a child. The whole concept of being a father – even just figuratively as the father of his band – seems to be extremely unsettling to him. When asked whether he wants to have children of his own, he seems to be open to the idea at first but then kind of retreats the statement by saying that his songs are his children.

I know that Yoshiki's mental health has already been discussed here but this interview was a real-opener for me. Tbh, I feel bad for him. To this day he's struggling with his father's suicide. Looking at the songs he wrote, it's clear that this event has not just been a source of extreme pain but also an inspiration for a lot of his lyrics. Going through this type of trauma, especially as a child, shapes you for life but I find it heart-wrenching to see that Yoshiki seems to feel as if it all happened yesterday. Do you think there's a chance for him to overcome this (at least partially)? Or maybe he's holding on to this pain because it's an immense driver for his creativity? Growing up like this can make you believe that your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma.

If this topic is too personal/invasive, I'll delete it. Mental health and anything related to psychology is super interesting to me and Yoshiki's personality has always puzzled me so I'd like to read your thoughts on that. :)

It's a really interesting topic. Actually, he said in several interviews, and also in a recent TV show, that he wants to be a father, he wants children, and he also wants to get married, and have a family just like anyone else. Everyone was really surprised in the show, and he was like: "Why are you reacting like that? Is it strange?", so he definitely has this feeling deep inside of him. But at the same time, he clearly says in We are X, that he doesn't know, what "family" is, but he considers the band and the fans as his family.

What got me the most was: "your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma. ". It was very well said, indeed. I went through hardship in my life, and letting go of my so called "demon" was the hardest thing in my life. It's not an easy task on it's own. His indentity is literally built around it, but he made it like that!

 I know it's a topic about Yoshiki, but let's talk a little about Toshi. He was a member of a cult for 12 years, they used him to make money, they beated him up, and threatened him. For 12 years!!! I think, that's just as awful, as Yoshiki's situation. But look at Toshi now. He was able to overcome of all those years, you can see he enyojs singing more than anything now, he's interested in cooking, and making coffee, and he's doing a radio show, which was his dream since he was a child. With his own words, "he's living the best time of his life now". Toshi was able to do it. He let go. And in my opinion, he's not indentified with "brainwashing". I mean, everyone knows, of course, but people see him as Toshi, a "cinamon roll", who loves sweets, tea and coffee, has an interesting sense of fashion, and last but not least has an amazing, unique voice. :D

Yoshiki is still grabbing on his pain tightly, and he lives in the past. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that he will be able to let go someday, and roll this heavy rock from his shoulders.

(He should spend more time with Toshi, they're best friends after all, and I think he could help him.)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 12, 2018, 08:46:19 AM
That interview is an excerpt from We Are X extras. If you have the DVD or Bluray, it's on there.

I think Yoshiki is fueled by being drenched in his own pain and sadness. That's what motivates him to go on. He also uses this as a genius marketing trick, yes, let's face it, he built an image out of the "I lost my father and then hide died" self-pity (hide's death impacted not only him... Pata was much closer to hide than Yoshiki...). A LOT of people lose their loved ones in this world, i don't think there is anyne on this planet who hasn't sufferred some kind of trauma in their lives. Some smaller, others bigger. Yes, some people are able to move on, or at least try to live a normal life, like Toshi. He decided to build himself up again. He could have also drenched himself in self pity for being a victim of physical and mental abuse (which is MUCH WORSE than what Yoshiki went through). But he decided to be strong and live a happy life. Yoshiki, to me, seems like he doesn't even want to live a normal life. He built himself around his pain and is unwilling to let it go. Probably he is afraid of losing his musical touch, as everything he has ever composed was built around his trauma.

EDIT: Of course, besides these, there are differences in people's mindsets, also we are born with different predispositions, some people have weaker nervous systems, ans there are a lot of factors involved in why some people can stand up and go on and others are not able to. Yoshiki is probably also among those who inherited a weaker nervous system.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 12, 2018, 10:35:15 AM
X Freaks resident licensed shrink and part-time shit joker checking in. 8)
I don't know the guy, but I highly doubt his current mental state has its roots solely on his father's suicide. Watching him speak, it's obvious that he's got a personality dysfunction of some kind. Probably major depressive, histrionic, borderline, a combination of all of that, I don't know, but definitely cluster B. Those are personality traits that are partly inherited, partly worsened by lifestyle/life events. People with personality disorders of the B cluster are perceived as dramatic, overly emotional, attention-seeking, etc. Someone with a cluster B predisposition who loses a parent in a traumatic event as a child is highly likely to develop attachment and leadership issues: they might think of themselves as both responsible for everyone else's well-being (leader mindset) or think that they need to be protected and shielded from the world by others (child mindset). The borderline spectrum folks often oscillate between both.

It's funny that he keeps going back to how traumatic it was to lose his father, and how traumatic it was to lose his friend Hide (who btw he always describes as a motherly figure), and how he'd like a family and kids, and then no, not really, his songs are his children blablabla. The same guy who destroys a drum set like an infuriated Bruce Lee is the same guy who needs 10 assistants to follow him at all times shall he trip over his own feet!

TL;DR: Yoshiki qualifies as batshit crazy per all known DSM standards. Don't be like Yoshiki, go see a shrink.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 12, 2018, 10:51:16 AM
I was also wondering if he is bipolar. He sometimes certainly is childish, holding stuffed animals and making cutesy faces like a little lolita (rofl), other times he appears to be strong, serious and manly. I think he is a strong leader, he manages X japan's musical stuff with a strong mindset, I think. He knows what he wants and how to get it. He's also a smart guy, I think. But at times he looses his shit and behaves like a 5 year old kindergartner that needs a good beating on his behind. :D If he really marries, that's probably gonna be for show.  Or else, he needs a wife who can handle all this, and this guy must be a handful to handle, I think. If it's a real love marriage, that lady needs to pull up her socks!
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 12, 2018, 11:28:03 AM
He sure is smart, people with those specific disorders are often really smart, talented and highly sensitive. Some scholers theorize that all artists have some sort of cluster disorder, otherwise they'd be just like everyone else - you need a high sensory processing sensitivity to create art, and that heightened sense of perception has to lead to some kind of mental weirdness down the road.

As for the cutesy, nah, those aren't bipolar traits at all, he's juts a little weird ;D
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 12, 2018, 11:47:28 AM
Do you think he would really be up for marriage? With his personality disorders, I can't really imagine him as a husband, or a father for that matter.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: sasasama on February 12, 2018, 01:32:56 PM
Do you think he would really be up for marriage? With his personality disorders, I can't really imagine him as a husband, or a father for that matter.

Honesltly, I think he would be totally up for marriage. I'm not sure about children, but for marriage, that's something he would totally do in my opinion. If he finds the right person, who can deal with his messed up personality, and help him, and support him all the way. :) Everyone seeks love, and I think Yoshiki isn't an exception either.

EDIT: Also, if he will find/or have already found that person, I don't think, he would show her to the public. ;D I think, he would like to keep it as private, as possible.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 12, 2018, 01:49:27 PM
Nah, it's totally fine to marry and have kids, even if you have your upstairs cables a bit jumbled up. ;D  I have a little trouble imaging this fellow changing nappies, but hey, wouldn't that be funny?

Quote
I'm sorry I haven't finished the new album yet. I have 3 toddlers to run after.
- Yoshiki in 2030

On a serious note: personality disorders are very common and highly manageable, you just need to seek treatment instead of sitting on your sorry ass all your life.  And by no means expect your partner to fix your head for you, that's not their job. ;)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: sasasama on February 12, 2018, 01:56:02 PM
Quote
On a serious note: personality disorders are very common and highly manageable, you just need to seek treatment instead of sitting on your sorry ass all your life.  And by no means expect your partner to fix your head for you, that's not their job. ;)

Yeah, that's definitely not the partner's job, but she must have the patience of an angel. :D
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 12, 2018, 02:05:04 PM
Quote
On a serious note: personality disorders are very common and highly manageable, you just need to seek treatment instead of sitting on your sorry ass all your life.  And by no means expect your partner to fix your head for you, that's not their job. ;)

Yeah, that's definitely not the partner's job, but she must have the patience of an angel. :D
Or the patience of a nurse working in a lunatic asylum  :P

Well, when I said I can't imagine him as a father, I lied a little, because I already imagined it in my fan fiction short story LOL. But imaginary Yoshiki is probably a lot less messy upstairs than real Yoshiki haha. He'd probably hand his baby over to one of his 10 assistants when the baby poops and order her to "oh change the baby please, I need to post on instagram".  ;D
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 12, 2018, 02:08:33 PM
Yeah, that's definitely not the partner's job, but she must have the patience of an angel. :D

OH YEAH GOD BLESS THAT WOMAN  ;D

Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 12, 2018, 03:11:31 PM
Quote
I'm sorry I haven't finished the new album yet. I have 3 toddlers to run after.
- Yoshiki in 2030


Dammit, you just gave Yoshiki the best excuse ever. Please delet this post.

Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: aki on February 12, 2018, 06:19:45 PM
Tbh, I can't picture him as a real father. Not unless he learns how to take proper care of himself - and I don't see that happening any time soon. His working habits seem to be a form of self-destruction that he's totally okay with. Also, he doesn't strike me as someone who could be in a healthy long-term relationship. And love certainly isn't the cure. No partner should be given the role of a therapist.

I've been wondering if he ever had some sort of psychotherapy? I know it's something that is still frowned upon in Japanese culture but then again he lives in LA where it's commonplace that everyone has their therapist. I feel like he doesn't want to get better. It's just so sad to watch. Guess I need to switch off my empathy mode.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 12, 2018, 07:53:22 PM
I think he mentioned it in an interview that after hide's death he was really desperate and went to a therapist, but he quickly quit because he felt the therapist couldn't understand him. That happens a lot of time with people like him, they don't feel like therapy gives them anything, because there you actually need to do things and strive to get better. Then again, the form of psychotherapy popular in the US with the therapist listening and analyzing you as you lie on a couch doesn't always work, I am sure Yoshiki is well aware of what his issues are even without a therapist analyzing his childhood. He would maybe fare better with cognitive therapy, if done right. That's the shit that got me out of depression. :)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 13, 2018, 01:34:16 AM
Yeah, I was going to say what Teemeah said about the therapist. I think he could use some therapy, maybe that therapist wasn't for him it happens to many people until they find the right one, he obviously hasn't been able to work on his problems on his own. Like sasama said, look at Toshi now, he went through a lot of shit but he probably got the help he needed and is doing better than ever.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: nb on February 13, 2018, 07:42:06 AM
Do you think he would really be up for marriage? With his personality disorders, I can't really imagine him as a husband, or a father for that matter.

Maybe he will changing then. I think you are right, but since I'm a father myself, I totally changed my life. Coming from a rebellious, drug using teenager with no fear of police, dying and other authority stuff to an established computer scientist and teamleader for CAE administration.

But yeah. You are right. For now I cannot believe he will be a good husband nor father. But yeah, my parents, teacher and also the judge worried a lot about me. Now my children are teached in kung fu and piano and they are best in ther schoolclass.

I do not tell that to show up, but to show how people can change
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 13, 2018, 07:52:23 AM
Good for you, nb.  You turned it all around and did great!

As far as Yoshiki seeing a therapist or psychologist - I think that may depend on where he saw one.  If he sought help in Japan, no telling what Japanese therapists are like if Japanese are supposed to just deal with life and not get help or seek out relief for their struggles or pain.   If the therapist was here in the US, I am pretty sure a good one would have helped him.  If everything is as he said it was and apparently, his mother and whomever else may have been there at the time his father died, to just let his father's body lay there on the floor for the children to see was a very shocking thing for a child to see, no matter what the customs of the country may be.  That right there causes a person to be a "case" that a therapist would like to work on and with.  A good one, anyway.  My ex had some bad things happen to him and nothing anywhere as serious as Yoshiki's experience and loss.  It messed him up, bad.   :'(
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 13, 2018, 09:19:43 AM
Yeah, we don't know what kind of therapist he went to. We cannot judge the therapist based on the patient's perceptions. I have a psychologist friend who told me that patients, especially those that suffer from serious depression, often cannot accept a helping hand, and would percieve a therapist's words as an attack. There was this Kpop star, Jonghyun of Shinee, who killed himself last december. He went to therapy for depression, and in his suicide note he wrote the same thing Yoshiki said, that he felt like the therapist couldn't understand him. No matter how good a therapist is, sometimes it is just not possible to help. The human mind is not like the body, where you inject a substance and you can make it better. Sometimes it is not possible to save suicidal people, even with the best of intentions :( Thankfully, Yoshiki's much stronger than that mentally, at least with regards to suicidal thoughts.

nb, it's awesome you could change. Yes, it is difficult, and a lot of times it won't happen. My dad couldn't change even after having two kids. He didn't care. Sugizo also mentioned that having his daughter changed him completely. It's awesome if that can happen to someone. But Yoshiki is now 52, the older someone is, the harder it is to change habits and thinking.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: aki on February 13, 2018, 10:53:24 AM
There was this Kpop star, Jonghyun of Shinee, who killed himself last december. He went to therapy for depression, and in his suicide note he wrote the same thing Yoshiki said, that he felt like the therapist couldn't understand him. No matter how good a therapist is, sometimes it is just not possible to help.
This is off topic but you mentioned it first. ;) Jonghyun's suicide hit me really hard. I'm struggling with depression myself and felt really triggered when it happened. I'm doing much better now but I still think about him almost every day. It's such an incredible loss. And it makes me furious that he didn't get proper help. :'(

As for Yoshiki, I hope he gets the right help if he ever decides to get better. We don't know enough to tell that he doesn't have suicidal tendencies but I think he'll just keep working and will eventually die in the process. I just hope that he's happy with whatever he decides to do. Despite all his messed up life experiences he seems to have a mental strength that keeps him going. He never gives up and I'm sure he sticks to that mindset. That's truly inspiring actually. :)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 13, 2018, 11:02:54 AM
He is inspiring. As trivial as it sounds, when I'm having a hard time in gym, because I have a very low level of pain tolerance, I always remind myslelf that Yoshiki keeps on drumming with worse pain, FOR HOURS. :) It gets me going and endure. My pain tolerance level is so low that should I ever get pregnant, I'm pretty sure I will beg for a C-section. LOL
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 13, 2018, 11:07:35 AM
A guy like Yoshiki is a case study with enough material for a dozen PhDs. The underlying issues are pretty common (depressive, histrionic, traumatic loss of a parent, etc.). It's the whole package that's interesting - celebrity with a highly unusual lifestyle, artistic dimension, artistic and personal identity build around the said issues, unusual thought patterns with deep roots, the fact that he doesn't need to act 'normal' in society like your regular working class folks...

No idea how therapy works in Japan. Here in Europe we're trained to do Freudian psychanalysis + cognitive-behavioral therapy. Patients are informed of what to expect and what not to expect from a therapist from session one. TL;DR: No, your therapist isn't supposed to understand you, just like your doctor isn't supposed to feel your pain. CBT is all about identifying the messed up thought patterns and replacing them by healthy ones. Dumb example: you're bored and that makes you sad. We need to work on the thought pattern that says boredom = sadness. Boredom is a neutral state of mind.

This takes a lot of work, though. Drawing the line where personality ends and pathology begins is no piece of cake. It can take years. The therapist needs to balance the right amount of empathy and the right amount of neutrality. Many patients quit it because they think their therapist is too 'cold' or trying too hard to sound like they relate to what you're saying (excess empathy). But it mostly pays off. I didn't stay on the job because YOLO I chose a different career, but there's nothing more rewarding than seeing a patient improve over time.

Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 14, 2018, 09:30:30 AM
I'm not a psychiatrist and have no knowledge of mental illness. I just read so many times that Japanese say Yoshiki is suffering from Münchausen syndrome.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/munchausen-syndrome#1
ㄴ about Münchausen syndrome

I think I am the only one who feels no sympathy for his trauma.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 14, 2018, 09:59:56 AM
I don't think that matches Yoshiki's illness. It's basically a syndrome where you are not ill but you constantly do as if you are. The dude HAS a lot of physical illnesses. Having your vertebrae replaced is not a phantom illness, it's a very real one. So are his issues with his hands and spine. Yoshiki has never claimed he had any mental illness. His medical history is pretty consistent, it's ailments resulting from his excessive drumming style, he is not inventing different types of illnesses unrelated to others he previously had. "Willingness or eagerness to have medical tests, operations, or other procedures", that's also not true in his case. He was always trying to avoid these as long as he could (for years on end). "Unclear symptoms that are not controllable and that become more severe or change once treatment has begun". That's also not valid for him. The way he descirbes his symptoms is pretty consistent. It's phsical pain in his neck, back and hands.

matsumoto may have a word or to about this but I'd say the Japanese are wrong about Yoshiki's mental illness. He has some kind of mental illness,but I doubt it's Münchausen syndrome. :)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 14, 2018, 01:47:31 PM
I think lakeisle might not be that far off the mark. Munchausen is a form of both hypochondria and histronic disorder. People who have it are usually convinced they're chronically ill, too fragile to function or hopelessly dependent. Few will invent an actual imaginary illness, they mostly take whichever ailments they already have and blow them out of porportion. In part because that brings them some much-appreciated attention/pity/sympathy, and also because it gives them an excuse to perform less than perfectly, i.e, I can't handle this life situation because I am a sick person.

Yoshiki seems to have some issues here and there but god me damned, he's perfectly functional healthwise. Spine issues, asthma and whatever can absolutely suck, but they're not terminal cancer. They require treatment and possibly surgery, but they don't leave you crippled and dependent Stephen Hawking-style. I find it funny that he mentions it over and over that his mother didn't expect him to live to adulthood when he was a kid. His/his mom's reasoning? He was thin, he had asthma as he was often rushed to the hospital to get IVs and oxygen. Which is perfectly normal and standard procedure (I got hundreds of those as a kid with asthma). His social circle seems to play along as well - they really think the dude is gonna die on stage from pushing too hard. (Except Pata, because Pata is badass 8) )

TL;DR: Munchausen is a very plausible possibility, and it probably is/was potentiated by his mom's fears when he was a kid.
(see, to us Freudians it's always your mom's fault  ;) )


Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 15, 2018, 01:59:48 AM
Not only me but also anonymous Japanese in the online community do not think Yoshiki's neck surgery is fake. They(and me) just know how many times he fainted on stage and out of stage. It brings some doubts. They don't believe every fainting was real, like you guys in this forum.

Yoshiki has never claimed he had any mental illness. 

I don't know if he claimed it or not. But see "We are X". The docu is not a story about the band. It's a personal story about how Yoshiki is the hero of tragedy. Some people said they saw the movie and was healed. But my impression was something like... Don't force sadness. I just found how much he is obsessed with his own tragedy. And I am not the only person to feel that way.

As for the impact of his mother on his personality, I have no idea. From what I've read in his autobiography, his mother is different from normal mothers in my society. But I can't make a judgment about his mother and her influence on him.

I'd rather talk about the title he got after he became an adult. Watching videos in the early 90's, I found that "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)" was consistent and significant modifiers of Yoshiki. I watched so many clips and read so many interviews mentioning these.

I will quote some text from a site to explain so-called Yoshiki Aesthetics.

How nice it would be scattered like glittering shards of glass!" - With these words Yoshiki formulated his "aesthetic moment", which became a symbol of its special character, his desire to burn, without sparing himself. During his unmatched speed drumming, he has received numerous injuries, due to its commitment to excellence and the ruthless exploitation of his own physical body, he fainted during performances, because of what the concert had to stop.

https://bluebloodxfamily.weebly.com/translation-eng-art-of-life---yoshiki--tetsushi-ichikawa---chapter-1.html

The words gave me a lot of hints to understand Yoshiki. I'm sure Yoshiki really loved the words. And he has been very faithful in those words.

Here is a video that explains it well. Tamori asks about how V2 was formed and recorded songs. Yoshiki says that he has collapsed, even though he was not asked.

https://www.bilibili.com/video/av3258588/

(around 2:35 ~ ) Tamori asks if Yoshiki really collapsed and Yoshiki nods with his brightest smile. He looks like a child who boasts to Mom that he got all A at class. I couldn't understand his mentality until I discovered the words "Aesthetics of the moment" and "Aesthetics of Destruction". Why does he look happy and proud even though concerts was canceled because of him? I couldn't understand it at all at first. But after I discovered the words that describe him in Japan, I could understand him more than before.

He collapsed at concert. It means that he was very faithful in "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)". He presented his aesthetics to the maximum to the audience. That's why he is happy and proud when he talks about his fainting.

But you know what? On last Christmas, Yoshiki said,

I used to have a belief in the "aesthetic of destruction" in the past, but I have undergone a second surgery at my neck, so from now on I would like to cherish the "aesthetics of continuity".
 https://natalie.mu/music/news/262746

I was very delighted to read that. I enthusiastically support his new beliefs. He has been accustomed to old beliefs for too long, so it can be difficult to follow to his new beliefs. But I hope he accomplish it.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 15, 2018, 02:09:03 AM
I agree about the possibility of Munchausens because after reading what it is like to have it, it seems to fit him pretty well.  I have a friend whose daughter has it and she was a real handful as a little child.  But maybe each child with it is different, too.

I am wondering what Yoshiki's brother is like.  I did some reading, there, too, and found he is an actor and was married not too long ago.  It would be interesting to know if they are similar in their thoughts, or not.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 15, 2018, 07:55:18 AM
Not only me but also anonymous Japanese in the online community do not think Yoshiki's neck surgery is fake. They(and me) just know how many times he fainted on stage and out of stage. It brings some doubts. They don't believe every fainting was real, like you guys in this forum.

Yoshiki has never claimed he had any mental illness. 

I don't know if he claimed it or not. But see "We are X". The docu is not a story about the band. It's a personal story about how Yoshiki is the hero of tragedy. Some people said they saw the movie and was healed. But my impression was something like... Don't force sadness. I just found how much he is obsessed with his own tragedy. And I am not the only person to feel that way.

As for the impact of his mother on his personality, I have no idea. From what I've read in his autobiography, his mother is different from normal mothers in my society. But I can't make a judgment about his mother and her influence on him.

I'd rather talk about the title he got after he became an adult. Watching videos in the early 90's, I found that "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)" was consistent and significant modifiers of Yoshiki. I watched so many clips and read so many interviews mentioning these.

I will quote some text from a site to explain so-called Yoshiki Aesthetics.

How nice it would be scattered like glittering shards of glass!" - With these words Yoshiki formulated his "aesthetic moment", which became a symbol of its special character, his desire to burn, without sparing himself. During his unmatched speed drumming, he has received numerous injuries, due to its commitment to excellence and the ruthless exploitation of his own physical body, he fainted during performances, because of what the concert had to stop.

https://bluebloodxfamily.weebly.com/translation-eng-art-of-life---yoshiki--tetsushi-ichikawa---chapter-1.html

The words gave me a lot of hints to understand Yoshiki. I'm sure Yoshiki really loved the words. And he has been very faithful in those words.

Here is a video that explains it well. Tamori asks about how V2 was formed and recorded songs. Yoshiki says that he has collapsed, even though he was not asked.

https://www.bilibili.com/video/av3258588/

(around 2:35 ~ ) Tamori asks if Yoshiki really collapsed and Yoshiki nods with his brightest smile. He looks like a child who boasts to Mom that he got all A at class. I couldn't understand his mentality until I discovered the words "Aesthetics of the moment" and "Aesthetics of Destruction". Why does he look happy and proud even though concerts was canceled because of him? I couldn't understand it at all at first. But after I discovered the words that describe him in Japan, I could understand him more than before.

He collapsed at concert. It means that he was very faithful in "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)". He presented his aesthetics to the maximum to the audience. That's why he is happy and proud when he talks about his fainting.

But you know what? On last Christmas, Yoshiki said,

I used to have a belief in the "aesthetic of destruction" in the past, but I have undergone a second surgery at my neck, so from now on I would like to cherish the "aesthetics of continuity".
 https://natalie.mu/music/news/262746

I was very delighted to read that. I enthusiastically support his new beliefs. He has been accustomed to old beliefs for too long, so it can be difficult to follow to his new beliefs. But I hope he accomplish it.

Oh wow! These are pieces of information I have never come across and I really tried to read everything that was available in English. You see this is why it is important to learn an another language. I am sure that there is so much more info out there in Japanese, than what has been translated to English so far. I always believed that you can only truly understand another culture if you speak their language. Translation just doesn't do justice to these concepts, because our Western wired minds will not be able to understand it unless you get fully immersed in the culture. I will have to learn Japanese, there are no excuses now. I want to understand these concepts fully, and that's only possible if I understand the structure of the language and the cultural annotations behind it. Thank you for the insight, gomapseumnida lakeisle-nim!
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 15, 2018, 01:34:15 PM
Lakeisle, we could never thank you enough for all the awesome info you brings us! That aesthetics thing was really nice to learn about.  ;)

As for his mom, we don't know much about her. Except that she agreed to hand over millions of yen to her teenage son when he wanted to debut X. I'm pretty glad she did, but stuff like that doesn't happen in, say, European society. If an 18 year old kid over here who smokes and drinks his ass off, dyes his hair weird colours, gets scolded all the time by school principals and engages in bar fights ever other day, no sane mom will give him a penny. Even if he makes some really darn nice music. (Source: I was sent to boarding school for much less and I didn't even have to tell my mom I wanted to debut a badass heavy metal band with my crazy-haired friends  8) )

That, coupled with her possibly overprotecting him and going all hypochondriac about his (very minor) health issues has resulted in a slightly dysfunctional perception of what death/suffering/going nuts really mean. His 'I almost died' formulation would equal, in normal language, 'I really worked my ass off, got damn tired and got a good few scratches'.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Fullmetal-Hana on February 15, 2018, 04:04:30 PM
I personally don't think he has Munchausens (I've heard that Hizaki from Versailles is a great example though). It just doesn't seem like he's faking anything, in my opinion. That being said, he is very self destructive and that does legitimately worry me. He did an interview with a UK magazine (I don't know the name, just saw an image of the interview page) and he pretty much said that he stopped taking his medication. You just…don't do that. That could seriously effect your health!

I can agree that his mom is very enabling and that may have had an effect on him too. She kinda spoiled him. I guess that's why he gets pissed when things don't go exactly the way he wants.
In all honesty, he's a bit of a brat.

Now if he really does want to start a family of his own, he's really going to have to get his butt in gear and start taking better care of himself. If you can't take care of yourself, then you aren't ready to raise a child. That's how I see it.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 15, 2018, 04:30:45 PM
I don't think he's self destructive at all. Or better, I guess he has no idea what 'self-detsruive' really means. He seems to take very good care of his appearance, life and overall health, actually (except for the spine issues, but hey, that's a hopeless cause). I mean, look at him: very nice teeth, very nice skin, probably gets botox monthly, probably eats right and works out (otherwise he wouldn't be in such good shape), sounds like he's followed by doctors regularly, etc. For us shrinks, a self-destructive individual is your next-door hobo who hasn't been to the doctor or dentist in ten years, doesn't shower much, lives off instant noodles and pizza, smokes five packs a day and starts drinking at noon. Even more intentionally self-destructive behaviour is self-harming, provoking overdoses for the sake of feeling like crap, anorexia, bulimia, intentionally quitting your job and dropping out of your social circle because you don't think you deserve those, etc. Compared to these, insisting that you want to drum despite your limitations and making a big deal when you're seriously tired is not much, really.

Yoshiki, bro, you're actually doing 98% better than most humans, word.  ;)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Fullmetal-Hana on February 15, 2018, 05:13:54 PM
Ah, maybe I'm worrying too much then. Bad habit of mine.

Some of the things he does make me think "dude, what are you doing? that can't be healthy."
Especially the lack of sleep. I know he has a busy guy with an insane schedule to keep, but he really should sleep more than he does. Among other things, lack of sleep could potentially lead to heart problems. Like you said, he most likely does eat right and exercise, which could reduce the risk of something like that happening. But still, it worries me.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 15, 2018, 07:27:37 PM
I think he sleeps enough, most pf the time. He just likes this vampire image and keeps insisting he doesn't sleep, when in every other insta video and photo he is dozing off lol. Maybehe doesn't sleep 8 hours a day but hey neither do I. :)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 16, 2018, 08:52:12 PM

As for his mom, we don't know much about her. Except that she agreed to hand over millions of yen to her teenage son when he wanted to debut X. I'm pretty glad she did, but stuff like that doesn't happen in, say, European society. If an 18 year old kid over here who smokes and drinks his ass off, dyes his hair weird colours, gets scolded all the time by school principals and engages in bar fights ever other day, no sane mom will give him a penny. Even if he makes some really darn nice music. (Source: I was sent to boarding school for much less and I didn't even have to tell my mom I wanted to debut a badass heavy metal band with my crazy-haired friends  8) )

That, coupled with her possibly overprotecting him and going all hypochondriac about his (very minor) health issues has resulted in a slightly dysfunctional perception of what death/suffering/going nuts really mean. His 'I almost died' formulation would equal, in normal language, 'I really worked my ass off, got damn tired and got a good few scratches'.

It's true that we don't know much about his mother. But I doubt his mother is an overprotective type.  I don't take it seriously she said her son will not be alive until he becomes an adult. Yoshiki seems to quote her words repeatedly because he likes it.

According to fragmentary information I have read in his autobiography, his mother is far from a mother who overprotect. It is written in his autobiography that his mother worked a while after her husband died. And she abandoned all of her late husband's belongings and photos in his house. His mother in my image is very independent and strong. Not the type that stick to her husband and children.

General overprotective mothers watch and meddle in all about their children, don't they? But she didn't seem to care about Yoshiki's drinking, smoking, fighting, riding motorcycles and hanging with brats. She even allowed Yoshiki to dye his hair in high school days. I can't even imagine her being an overprotective mother. Because overprotective mothers are greatly concerned about the minor mistakes or deviations from their children. (My mom was that type)

She's rather the traditional fatherlike type, always busy with work and occasionally buy a present for children, in our society. I like that she didn't force Yoshiki to study, bought him drums and took him to the KISS concert. She seems to have had more of a good influence on him. But I don't know well.

off topic : Yoshiki got teeth implant.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 16, 2018, 09:22:30 PM
That's not Yoshiki quoting his mom, his mother told this story in We Are X herself, in her own voice, that Yoshiki was born a very weak baby and doctors told her he would likely not reach adulthood.

I think, drumming helped to improve his overall health (and ironically, ruined it later on). You really need to be in good physical condition to drum, especially speed metal that he did when he was younger. We have seen people survive stuff doctors said would be not possible, so I am not surprised that he did survive, despite what doctors predicted. He has an exceptionally strong willpower, he can rule his body. That's an amazing feat. I don't know how to do that, I am trying to learn to do it. Whenever I am crazy suffering at the gym at failure/break point with repetitions, I remind myself that my body is giving me fake signals to stop because I am used to a low pain tolerance level (minor headache? Pop a painkiller immediately...). Yoshiki actually inspires me to endure the pain in gym and not think like "omg it's painful so I must stop otherwise my arm will fall off" :D Because it won't, of course.

off: Yoshiki obviously has fake teeth. :) But most Western stars do, too. I know Japanese kind of like the messy teeth like Toshi has, but Yoshiki has been living in the US for so long. I don't mind teeth implants. I myself had my teeth straightened out with braces, so...
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 17, 2018, 05:39:03 AM
Is Marie Matteucci for real? She was in a relationship with Yoshiki? Can I trust what she has written about him?
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 17, 2018, 08:24:54 AM
Is Marie Matteucci for real? She was in a relationship with Yoshiki? Can I trust what she has written about him?

Can you give a link or something? It's hard to guess stuff, you know.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 17, 2018, 08:37:50 AM
Is Marie Matteucci for real? She was in a relationship with Yoshiki? Can I trust what she has written about him?

Can you give a link or something? It's hard to guess stuff, you know.

Sure! I figured you would already know about this. Thanks!  :)

http://diary-of-moonlight.diary.ru/p170800396.htm?oam
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 17, 2018, 10:02:19 AM
I would be careful with this. Apart from fan blogs, I don't find any reliable source that would remotely confirm this story. The website says this was a "radio interview"..... That can be faked anytime anyone wishes so. Unless someone actually has a recording. I don't see any reliable sources where Yoshiki would have ever mentioned he had a long time girlfriend. Nor did he ever mentioned anything when he talks about hide's death. If this story were true, there are discrepancies in how he described the happenings around hide's death, for example. If they met in 1996 and were in a relationship for 6 years, it means they were together for 2 years when hide died. And she would have been there to support him emotionally. The puzzle just doesn't fit together at all. Her poetry book is indeed dedicated to Yoshiki (I checked at Amazon) but that could be anything from friendship to gratitude for helping her to publish the book. It doesn't anywhere suggest a love relationship. So, I don't know. Maybe lakieisle has some Japanese articles on this? Because in English, there are only fan blogs.

I need to check Yoshiki's biography too but I don't remember reading anything about a girlfriend there, either, apart from that japanese singer lady he briefly dated.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Guruxo on February 17, 2018, 09:24:18 PM
I've never heard of this woman before now, but after a search on google I think she is the lady in the Silent Jealousy video and the Dahlia video. She might be in some others, but I don't know.  :-\
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 19, 2018, 09:31:50 AM
Just dragging my old ass fan self in here.  8)
Yes, she is for real. I have a really hard time recalling it because this dates back to 2006-ish. I don't know what her relationship to him was (girlfriend or close friend, persumably), but she even published a book with a special dedication for him. Uncle Google just told me the book is called Anachronism and came out in the early 2000s. You can see that the book has a dedication saying 'This book is dedicated to Yoshiki Hayashi, I love you' or something of the sort. There's also a really nice poem called 'Tragic News (for Hideto)', presumably written for Hide.

Source: French forums I used to visit when I was a kid, where nosy fans digged some pretty weird rabbit holes. Somebody I used to be in contact with even bought the darn book and scanned/took photos of it for the fandom (this was way before Google Books was a thing). 
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 19, 2018, 10:13:46 AM
Thanks, matsumoto.  I've still got her page or blog up as she keeps adding to it.   I've been trying to go through it but there are so many links to so many things, including Yoshiki and also other things but they are all current, too.  One of the links on there, I believe, takes one to Amazon where that book you mentioned is for sale, currently.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 19, 2018, 11:04:36 AM
I don't doubt she exists, I just doubt the fact they had a love relationship (like, being a real couple living together and stuff). Being close friends is a different thing.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 19, 2018, 11:38:31 AM
I have no idea either, she could even be his blond-caucasian thrid-degree cousin for all I care.  ;D

She was really pretty in the Dahlia PV, though. And her poems are surprisingly good for someone who released a single book that was probably read by a max of 10 people.

Edit: work is slow, so here's the poem she (probably) wrote for Hide:

Quote
Tragic News (for Hideto)

I don't want to wait another hour
The trees are growing around my eyes
I don't know if I mind
But in the chaos of drunken truth
You turn to me, I run from you
I lost the will
I lost the will
I lost the will to live

Yoshiki also has one for him, but I kind of prefer this one. Short, sweet and enigmatic.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 19, 2018, 08:41:18 PM
Umm, I don't want to sound like a bitch (I know I do), but I can write poems like this, and even in Russian. :P
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 20, 2018, 05:11:54 AM
She claims to have been in a "relationship" with Yoshiki for 6 months or so, then that they have remained friends for 10 or more years, depending on when she wrote that.  I don't think that's impossible at all.  In fact, I tend to believe it's probably true.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 20, 2018, 08:49:49 AM
That's not Yoshiki quoting his mom, his mother told this story in We Are X herself, in her own voice, that Yoshiki was born a very weak baby and doctors told her he would likely not reach adulthood.

As far as I remember, he used to talk about it himself before "We Are X" was released. I'm not sure. Memory is often distorted. If I find the source, I'll post it.

Apart from that, I don't think interviewees's speech in "We Are X" are objective. Albeit it's off topic, some people don't believe that Yoshiki and Hide planned to reorganize X Japan when Hide was alive. Who knows? There is no witness. Yoshiki claims he and Hide planned for a reunion, but Hide died. There is nobody to prove his claim.

In "We Are X", the writer of Yoshiki's autobiography makes a statement about "their" plan for reunion. But what she talks about is just what she heard from Yoshiki. I think the interviewees are selected according to Yoshiki's taste.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 20, 2018, 09:10:18 AM
Umm, I don't want to sound like a bitch (I know I do), but I can write poems like this, and even in Russian. :P

It sure is a simple poem but there's something interesting about it, knowing she probably knew the guy and the words might have a special meaning we can't seize. Googleread her book, seriously. Her poetry is interesting, I dare say she might have written or co-written or been the voice-over girl in some of X's late 90s stuff. Her style is remarkably similar to Yoshiki's lyrics.

Apart from that, I don't think interviewees's speech in "We Are X" are objective. Albeit it's off topic, some people don't believe that Yoshiki and Hide planned to reorganize X Japan when Hide was alive.

I kind of don't believe it myself. They sure would have wanted to do it, but I don't think they would ever actually do it. Hide was super into his solo career, Yoshiki already had his Violet UK project thing in mind, plus X doesn't seem to work at all without Toshi. I don't think the 2nd X would have seen the light at all.

Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 20, 2018, 09:36:58 AM
We will never know these things but I would rather rely on what has been said by the members than listen to ungrounded rumours started and circulated by godknowswho. Fans, anti-fans, people who seek attention. If Yoshiki's mom says he was a weak kid, I have no reason to think she would be lying. Sure, he used all these things to build a kind of myth around himself, but that's what most celebrities do. Korean superstar Rain built his entire image around the hardworking ugly boy who didn't even have ramen to eat when his mother died. Most celebrities have a touching story or two to sell. How much of that is true, and how much the story was colored up, only they know. Apparently Pata and Heath and even Sugizo are fine with these stories, maybe they are bound by contracts to keep their mouths shut or maybe these stories are simply just true. Anyways, I'm repeating myself but -- I have no reason to listen to rumours instead of listening to what actual band members and people who know them say.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 21, 2018, 02:27:10 AM
I dare say she might have written or co-written or been the voice-over girl in some of X's late 90s stuff. Her style is remarkably similar to Yoshiki's lyrics.


When I first listened to the concept of Violet UK, something like "combination of music and fashion", my reaction was like... "??????? What the hell is that?"

But, since hearing about her, I've come to believe that the concept was inspired by her. Because she was a fashion model, right? It may be my delusion, but I believe so.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 21, 2018, 02:29:17 AM
Hi lakeisle, Yes, she was a model.  So you are correct in that.   :)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 21, 2018, 09:06:08 AM
I dare say she might have written or co-written or been the voice-over girl in some of X's late 90s stuff. Her style is remarkably similar to Yoshiki's lyrics.


When I first listened to the concept of Violet UK, something like "combination of music and fashion", my reaction was like... "??????? What the hell is that?"

But, since hearing about her, I've come to believe that the concept was inspired by her. Because she was a fashion model, right? It may be my delusion, but I believe so.

Funny enough, I feel that way too! ;) Well, most artists have their own pet muse! She was a stunning beauty back in the Dahlia days, she had something dark and mysterious about her. Her poetry is raw and weird, it sounds pretty much like music lyrics of the Yoshiki kind. I sort of wish she had done more as an artist or shared her impressions of X in the late 1990s. I don't know why, I'm curious.

Also, too bad Violet UK never really worked. I sort of imagined it would be a grand Dahlia-like spinoff, but it was just a bunch of catwalk models walking on stage with rather lame background music. (or maybe I'm just too much of a metalhead to appreciate that)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 21, 2018, 12:52:32 PM
Hi lakeisle, Yes, she was a model.  So you are correct in that.   :)

LEMONedMe, Thanks for the information.


Funny enough, I feel that way too! ;) Well, most artists have their own pet muse! She was a stunning beauty back in the Dahlia days, she had something dark and mysterious about her. Her poetry is raw and weird, it sounds pretty much like music lyrics of the Yoshiki kind. I sort of wish she had done more as an artist or shared her impressions of X in the late 1990s. I don't know why, I'm curious.

Also, too bad Violet UK never really worked. I sort of imagined it would be a grand Dahlia-like spinoff, but it was just a bunch of catwalk models walking on stage with rather lame background music. (or maybe I'm just too much of a metalhead to appreciate that)

I have a sudden urge to read her book. I will do, but maybe after analyzing the lyrics of X Japan(This is what I'm currently doing) ㅋㅋ

I kind of envy you, matsumoto. I discovered VioletUK last year, and had no time to imagine their future. I couldn't even ask X fans about VUK. Because they seemed to consider VUK disappointment, frustration, and failure. And I couldn't find any attractive VUK songs myself.

I'm curious too. My old-fashioned and fixed idea says that fashion show music is bound to be lame. In fashion shows, designer's work should be spotlighted as much as possible. Music should not distract attention. So fashion show music can't be revolutionary. Like yoga music. The function of yoga music is to make people concentrate on yoga. Yoga music itself is not the purpose.

Yes, I know, I have too many stereotypes. But at the same time, I admire people who break my stereotypes. I am curious about his(her?) plan for "combination of music and fashion". But is there any possibility it will be realized?
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 21, 2018, 01:34:10 PM
I mostly agree with you. If we see things under a certain light, Kiss, X Japan, Hide, David Bowie, Siouxsie, etc. were actually more than just bands/musicians. They didn't just create music but also their very own aesthetic - people liked to listen to them, look like them, dress like them, act like them. That's what I conceive as a blend of music and fashion and I don't think you can blend things any further without making a big mess 8)

That being said, every Violet UK song I've ever listened to was a huge disapointment indeed. The lyrics are just a mix of purple prose and depression. The singers aren't exactly awesome - they mostly alternate husky whispers with high pitched tones. The piano and arrangement are okay (thanks, Yoshiki), but there's no feeling whatsoever in them. From what I recall, the fashion part isn't groundbreaking either (insert plenty of standard models in a catwalk with jap-inspired clothes on, that's about it). Around the reunion era they had a pretty badass-looking bassist (Mandy or Mandi, I don't remember) that got my hopes up, but we never heard any groundbreaking bass work from her either. Same goes to SKIN and every other project Yoshiki engaged in that wasn't his classical career or X.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: YoshToshBGosh on February 21, 2018, 06:26:34 PM
Around the reunion era they had a pretty badass-looking bassist (Mandy or Mandi, I don't remember) that got my hopes up, but we never heard any groundbreaking bass work from her either. Same goes to SKIN and every other project Yoshiki engaged in that wasn't his classical career or X.
"They"? Did Violet Uk ever perform live, or have a line-up? I thought it has always been a studio project,never heard about any musicians involved other than the vocalists.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 22, 2018, 10:21:18 AM
Sure they did! They even performed live during the reunion concerts. There other performances here and there, with different singers, and then some of their songs were featured in a couple of B films. Nicole Schwerzinger also performed with Yoshiki with the Tokyo orchestra in the mid-2000s. Nobody seemed to care much about their 'debut', though.

I just found the bassist. Her name is Mandi Martyr, but she doesn't seem to be active in music anymore (she seems to be in Portland working as a tattoo artist and now she has a kid). One of the singers, Katie Fitzgerald, still performs with Yoshiki Classical here and there. But her Linkedin page says she's now into finance. There were other vocalists, but it sounds like it was a one-time collaboration. Sugizo was involved at some point, but nobody know exactly what he did (washing the dishes, maybe?) Yoshiki did the piano, keyboards, arrangement and pretty much everything else, except singing (and washing the dishes).  8)

Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 22, 2018, 11:14:17 AM
I checked it on youtube. The live at the reunion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW-68TsZTxk

Whatever this is, IT NEEDS TO BURN.

Sorry, Yoshiki, I love you to bits and pieces but this is .... this is.... what is this?!
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 22, 2018, 11:53:04 AM
I seriously hadn't watched that in 10 years and I had the exact same thoughts I had 10 years ago:

> why does Sugizo have to play guitar that dramatically? Chill out a little, dude.
> why is the guest guitarist dressed like a clown?
> why didn't the vocalist even bother to brush her hair?
> what kind of headbanging speed is the keyboards girl on?
> are the weird-dance models different people or clones of the very same thin-blonde-ponytail woman?
> why is Pata the only chill guy around there?
> Appearently some people liked it, judging by the coments section. Those people are probably Yoshiki commenting through a bunch of fake YT accounts he created.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 22, 2018, 12:01:26 PM
I feel pretty much the same way.  Maybe more. lol.  YUK.  Out the window with that shit.  I agree about Sugizo. He's done it with a violin as well but it seems to fit that instrument a lot better.  This was just plain weird.  What are all those girls there for? Show and looks? <cough> Whoever wrote all those praising comments are just as bad. lol
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 22, 2018, 02:16:53 PM
It's my first time watching this video. (Thanks, Teemeah)

I feel a little bit different from you guys. This is better than the songs I've ever listened to. The thing that bothered me the most about VUK was that it sounds like CCM... I mean Contemporary Christian Music. I'm not an anti-Christ, but I didn't like the style which reminds me of girls who sing in church on Sunday. At least, this song doesn't remind me of CCM singers.

As for Sugizo, I felt totally different. If I was Sugizo, I would have complained, "Why Yoshiki have me do this weird performance?" "Why should I do this?"... blah blah... But he seems to be totally immersed in it. I kind of respect him. He is really professional.

I think this performance during the Dahlia Tour(1996)(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywEjiflpKUw)
and that of "city of Devils(2008)" are very similar.

And I found a great surprise. Where is Yoshiki? I can't find him on stage. I've never seen a stage where Yoshiki is not spotlighted the most. But in this video, he is not seen at all. It really surprises me.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 22, 2018, 03:21:10 PM
And I found a great surprise. Where is Yoshiki? I can't find him on stage. I've never seen a stage where Yoshiki is not spotlighted the most. But in this video, he is not seen at all. It really surprises me.

Good question. Considering he bragged about Violet UK for a full decade before we could even get a taste of it, staying backstage while they finally perform is a little strange. Veredict: Violet UK is the new Hide no Heya, but less classy. I agree with you on Sugizo, though. He overplayed it, but he was entertaining to watch, he certainly seemed very much into the whole thing.

I goddamn loved the White Poem performance during the Dahlia Tour. BDSM has been so done and overdone on stage, it's hard to come up with a performance that's sexy and classy, and that one was just that. I could go WITHOUT skinny Yoshiki playing sexy but hey, I get the point, he thinks he's sexy, many fans think he's sexy, that's not my case but too bad for me, I'd rather see just those badass female dancers. TL;DR: compared to the raw power of White Poem in 1996, Violet UK is pretty softcore. Yoshiki needs to burn those transparent pants, though.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 22, 2018, 03:35:39 PM
Sugizo being dramatic? What's new? Really, in his early years with X he was overdramatic and he calmed down later and settled for a still dramatic but more fitting stage performance lol

I'm sure they just threw that Violet UK thing in there so he could take a break. I never got into Violet UK, there are some demos that sounded promising but the songs he actually did something with were meh, except Rosa, I love Rosa. I only wanted him to release the album because he kept talking about it ALL THE TIME.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: YoshToshBGosh on February 23, 2018, 05:52:45 AM
Stuffing Violet UK in the middle were also like "While the band will have a very long break, please enjoy the performance of the band leader's new-ish side project - without him being present on stage, of course!"
I can only imagine how the audience's level of War eXcitement went through the roof...
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 23, 2018, 06:54:33 AM
Veredict: Violet UK is the new Hide no Heya, but less classy.

I goddamn loved the White Poem performance during the Dahlia Tour. BDSM has been so done and overdone on stage, it's hard to come up with a performance that's sexy and classy, and that one was just that. I could go WITHOUT skinny Yoshiki playing sexy but hey, I get the point, he thinks he's sexy, many fans think he's sexy, that's not my case but too bad for me, I'd rather see just those badass female dancers. TL;DR: compared to the raw power of White Poem in 1996, Violet UK is pretty softcore. Yoshiki needs to burn those transparent pants, though.

I did some research about Hide no Heya, and I found out that it was a sort of series. Oh my god, I had been thinking it was a one-off performance until I read your comment. Because I've watched only the 1992 version, with a huge eyeball.

BTBF performance puzzled a newbie. Why do those cages appear out of nowhere? What the hell are those women with whips? After watching hide no heya in siroi yoru, aoi yoru, and Dahlia tour final today, some questions were resolved, finally. Cages and women with chains are kind of X tradition.

What do I know about X?  :'( :'( :'(

But I still have a question. Am I the only person who think "White Poem I" was influenced by "Love Replica"? I read this interview several months ago. http://s.webry.info/sp/blueverse.at.webry.info/201708/article_32.html

Hide's interview(1991) on the Jealousy album. He said he recorded all the parts of "Love Replica" by himself (except narration). And he said that the song was not carefully planned, but almost improvised. This is same as how Yoshiki made "White Poem I" 5 years later. And, as you all know, "White Poem l" is VUK-ish song even though it is included in the Dahlia album.

If Violet UK is the new Hide no Heya and "White Poem I" is the new "Love Replica", I can't help but think VUK has been strongly influenced by HIDE.


+
I forgot to write this yesterday.

I love "I'll be your love" sung by Nicole Scherzinger. she has a gorgeous voice. I'm sad that she sang only one song for VUK. Aside from the vocalist, I love the song itself too.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 23, 2018, 09:02:37 AM
Stuffing Violet UK in the middle were also like "While the band will have a very long break, please enjoy the performance of the band leader's new-ish side project - without him being present on stage, of course!"
I can only imagine how the audience's level of War eXcitement went through the roof...

I wasn't there back in the day, but I was streaming the live concerts online and reading the reports written by fans who were actually at Tokyo Dome. Reportedly they didn't even understand that it was the OMG much awaited Violet UK and just used the break to go to the bathroom, refill on drinks and chat with the people around them.

Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 23, 2018, 09:33:33 AM
Maybe that's why Yoshiki iced the whole VUK project later on, because people weren't interested.

As for hide ispiring the VUK performance... Interesting theory. Maybe hide inspired Yoshiki to be more experimental and get out of his musical bubble of classical piano and speed metal drumming :D But hide was a natural improviser, he actually looked cool doing those weird kind of sh*t he did on stage, though I didn't really get most of his hide no heya performances, either, and most of his solo stuff is just too experimental for my taste. But Yoshiki has a different composing style, and this haphazard weird stage performance with white poem and VUK is just.... ugh. I prefer his "calculated" songs, that actually make sense musically. And this blond lady singing at the reunion, she has no singing voice whatsoever. It was a pale and boring performance. The only entertaining point in it was Sugizo. LOL. :D
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: YoshToshBGosh on February 24, 2018, 01:08:50 AM
But hide was a natural improviser, he actually looked cool doing those weird kind of sh*t he did on stage, though I didn't really get most of his hide no heya performances, either, and most of his solo stuff is just too experimental for my taste. But Yoshiki has a different composing style, and this haphazard weird stage performance with white poem and VUK is just.... ugh. I prefer his "calculated" songs, that actually make sense musically.
I wouldn't say the VUK songs don't make sense musically, and I believe artists have every right to explore new territory, even when relivately failing at it. But even more calculated songs like "I'll be your love" just don't stand out(that one f.e. has weak lyrics that also don't flow well when sung). And although visual aspects can definitely  increase the music's impact, VUK don't accomplish that, and the concept of combining music and fashion doesn't appeal to me personally.
And hey, haphazard - I just learned a new word :-) 
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: lakeisle on February 24, 2018, 03:31:13 AM
Maybe that's why Yoshiki iced the whole VUK project later on, because people weren't interested.


Maybe. But, in 2012, Yoshiki announced that VUK will debut in 2013.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12nHgsNteBQ (Yoshiki appears in that video. (1:40~) wearing a blue yukata)

I wonder what happened. What made him decide to debut in 2013, and what made him to suspend.

The only entertaining point in it was Sugizo. LOL. :D

I agree with you 100%. I'm addicted to him.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 26, 2018, 10:03:47 AM
I wonder what happened. What made him decide to debut in 2013, and what made him to suspend.

Well, same that led him to suspend/drop/forget about/delay his stint with Globe, SKIN, Lady's X, the new album...  8)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 26, 2018, 10:14:34 AM
Does anyone know Yoshiki's ascendant sign? His sun sign is Scorpio but his secondary might actually be a Saggitarius :P Because Sags are normally like that, starting projects that are interesting and then forgetting about them when they are no longer interesting enough. I'm a Sag, I do that all the time :D I'd be worse than Yoshiki if I were a musician. I might just not finish ANY album in my lifetime, because:
-- wow, is that Chinese music? I want to learn that!
Two weeks later:
-- Lookie, a new kind of language learning app (throws away all previous books)
Three months later:
-- I need to learn how to subtitle movies, soo interesting. (subtitles three entire TV series and now has 3 other half-done because:)
-- I need to learn Japanese NOOOOOW.

:D

Maybe Yoshiki is like that, too :D If he is, doing X Japan for 35 years now is a preeeety long project to be on :D
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 10:24:31 AM
Does anyone know Yoshiki's ascendant sign? His sun sign is Scorpio but his secondary might actually be a Saggitarius :P Because Sags are normally like that, starting projects that are interesting and then forgetting about them when they are no longer interesting enough. I'm a Sag, I do that all the time :D I'd be worse than Yoshiki if I were a musician. I might just not finish ANY album in my lifetime, because:
-- wow, is that Chinese music? I want to learn that!
Two weeks later:
-- Lookie, a new kind of language learning app (throws away all previous books)
Three months later:
-- I need to learn how to subtitle movies, soo interesting. (subtitles three entire TV series and now has 3 other half-done because:)
-- I need to learn Japanese NOOOOOW.

:D

Maybe Yoshiki is like that, too :D If he is, doing X Japan for 35 years now is a preeeety long project to be on :D

Yoshiki's sign is Scorpio and birthday, November 20, 1965 which would put him on the cusp because Sagittarius starts on the 24th.  I believe from what I have read, that an ascendant sign is not the same thing as being on the cusp and that we need to know his time of birth.  If you can find that time, we might be able to find out a lot more.  But the site I am on right now, needs that time.  Man, I hope you can find it, somehow.  I'll help out as soon as I can get that time.

I have an ex niece who does this for a living and we aren't on the best of terms as she is just too far out there and doesn't like that I am too "grounded".  LOL.  She's worth a try to ask but I still need the time of birth.  Do you think you can get it?
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 10:32:52 AM
Dec 14, 2017
The Scorpio-Sagittarius Cusp
Discover the power of the Cusp of Revolution
scorpio and sagittarius zodiac glyphs
Tarot.com Staff
By Tarot.com Staff

Scorpio, Sagittarius, Cusp, Astrology

If you were born on the Scorpio-Sagittarius cusp, from November 18 to 24, you are an incredible source of strength and power! You were born on the Cusp of Revolution, which makes you passionate, capable, and ready to stand up and fight for your beliefs.

Because you were born on this cusp, you are influenced by the planets Pluto and Jupiter -- the ruling planets of Scorpio and Sagittarius. Pluto, the planet of death and rebirth, encourages you to right wrongs and embrace your personal power, while Jupiter fuels your optimistic outlook. It's this combination of inspiration and transformation that makes you so revolutionary!

You are blessed with both the empathy of a Water sign (Scorpio) and the excitement of a Fire sign (Sagittarius), giving you a wide spectrum of abilities. There's a combination of compassion and friendliness in you that makes you incredibly generous -- just be wary of those looking to take advantage of your giving nature.

Born on the Cusp of Revolution, you're action-oriented and strong, ready to lead and inspire! Your ability to stick to your guns alongside your outgoing, charismatic attitude will have you turning heads, making moves, and doing important things in this lifetime. One thing that's sure to hold you back, however, is a lack of freedom. The more tied down you are the more stuck and frustrated you'll feel. Seek opportunities that will allow you freedom and independence!

People born on the Scorpio-Sagittarius cusp are especially proactive and tend to be a bit wild or rebellious. You like to shake things up! However, this energy can be too much for some, and could make you seem intimidating or unapproachable. In fact, you may often be misunderstood by others, because they never know which version of you they'll see: the fun, flexible, life of the party, or the fierce, complex creature with the sharp stinger.

Born on the Cusp of Revolution, you have strong values and beliefs and you aren't afraid to speak your mind. You thrive around others who share your strength and vitality, and who don't get rubbed the wrong way too easily -- you've been known to ruffle a few feathers in your day! Your independence and intensity can lead you to do great things, but they can also cause power struggles in relationships and conflict with authority figures. Channel your ferocity into ambition instead of aggression, and there will be no stopping you.

Strengths:
Energetic, adventurous, powerful, accomplished, generous, passionate

Your combination of vision and determination gives you a competitive edge that will carry you far in life. The ability to think deeply as well as philosophically gives you a great understanding of who you are and where you fit into the world. The energy and intensity you feel fuels your desire to make positive changes for yourself and those around you. Your bright sense of humor, optimistic outlook, and willingness to interact genuinely with others will gain you fast, loyal friends.

Weaknesses:
Secretive, selfish, rebellious, wild, aggressive, blunt, misunderstood

With the fury of Scorpio and the fire of Sagittarius, your demeanor might seem aggressive or overwhelming to those around you. And since you always need to be on the move, you can get impatient if others get in your way or slow you down -- be gentle with them, they could use your spunk! Your desire to fight for your beliefs is admired, but it can manifest as a rebellious and unfocused frenzy if your energy isn't channeled properly.

Compatibility:
You're a firecracker, and you need partners who respect your freedom and independence. Because Scorpio can be a very suspicious sign and Sagittarius prizes truth, honesty is one of the most important things to you in a relationship. You're very attracted to anyone who is passionate about their work or talents, and you love cheering them on! Fire signs will mirror your intensity and will make fun life partners. A relationship with a Fire sign is full of steamy intimacy, but could have its fair share of explosive arguments, too! Water signs will provide the affection and connection you're looking for in a committed relationship. They may be more emotional than you need, but their ability to care deeply and their efforts to understand you will make you feel loved beyond measure.

Advice:
Because you like to do things your own way, others' feelings aren't really a priority to you. But how long would you stick around someone who didn't make YOUR feelings important? Hard as it may be, make an effort to put yourself aside once in a while and show the people in your life that they matter. Ask more questions, listen more attentively, and be more forgiving of mistakes.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 26, 2018, 10:41:14 AM
Yeah, I don't think we can get his time of birth. A lot of people don't know theirs. I don't know if it is customary to note it in Japan. When I was born, it wasn't much of an interest and it is not recorded on my birth certificate. My mother cannot remember, either, she says she was too much out of her mind, she doesn't even know if it was morning or night :D So the astrologist I went to had to calculate my ascendant based on life events. maybe your niece can calculate that (at least approximately) from major life events in Yoshiki's biography. (My ascendant is Libra, and it's pretty much bad, it makes me, a fire sign, lazy AF and indecisive in major life matters. It also blocks my love life -- and sadly, all she told me are pretty accurate readings!)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 11:00:45 AM
OK, if you don't know what time you were born how do you know your ascendant is Libra?  Shouldn't it be Scorpio if you're a Sagittarius? I'm a Scorpio and am not on the cusp either way.  No, ascendant is another story.  I have no clue.  As I had said, that one throws me and I don't know if ascendant or descendant (if there's one of those as well) is the same as being on a cusp or not.

They do put the time of birth on our certificates, here.  I was born at 4:13am.  My lucky brother was born at 3:13am.  His sounds a lot cooler to me.  Hahahaha.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 11:04:18 AM
OK, it's NOT the same thing.  We need his time of birth.  LOL!

Your rising sign—also known as your ascendant—represents the way others see you, your general impression on people, and your spontaneous reactions. It reflects the Zodiacal sign that was ascending on the eastern horizon the moment you were born.  That's detailed! Whrew.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 26, 2018, 11:07:01 AM
No, the ascendant has nothing to do with what signs are right next to your sun sign. The ascendant can be any other sign, based on the position of stars at that specific time of the event. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ascendant A good astrologist is able to estimate your birth hour at least, from the events of your life and your personality traits because those are said to be influenced by the ascendant as much as they are by the sun sign. and we are going very off topic again. LOL
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 11:15:21 AM
Naw, not off topic at all as it influences his psychological make-up.  As the site I was on said, above, which is about the same thing you just said, right?
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: helenmoon on February 26, 2018, 04:09:52 PM
Yes Teemeah, a good astrologer can see many things in a natal chart...
I don't know if I'm right or not, but I studied a little Yoshiki's (of course ::) ) and - judging from his reaction to hide's death - he could be born around 23:30 (local time of Tateyama - Tokyo). If it's so, his ascendant would fall in Leo's latest or in the first Virgo's degrees. I say it because it would be the only way Saturn's transit at that moment may form an opposition aspect with his natal Moon (adverse aspect of 180 degrees which can cause loss of a loved one). So he could have his first house (house of personality) starting from Leo and extending in Virgo. As a Leo, after hide's death his statement "I was the leader of the band, I had to blame myself" could partially justify his self-perception.

Besides, in an interview hide's mother said he stayed in LA till April 27th 1998 before coming back to Tokyo. I read Yoshiki was in LA too, but he said he spoke the last time with hide by phone one month before his death; it sounds me so strange:  they were in the same city and didn't even meet for a drink together? (sorry for the O.T.)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 26, 2018, 04:35:51 PM
Naw, not off topic at all as it influences his psychological make-up.  As the site I was on said, above, which is about the same thing you just said, right?

It is totally off-topic because Yoshiki's actions and personality have nothing to do with his zodiac sign or the time he was born, it influences nothing and you are delusional if you think so. Yoshiki's metal health is related to what happened to him in his life, genetics, environment... he could've born at the exact same moment and turned out to be a completely different person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's not strange to be in the same city and not talk, I live in the same city with some of my best friends and sometimes we don't talk in 1 or 2 months, that's just life.

Also, take responsability for your own actions, don't blame it on your zodiac lol
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 04:39:24 PM
I will turn full Scorpio demon!
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 26, 2018, 04:41:56 PM
Naw, not off topic at all as it influences his psychological make-up.  As the site I was on said, above, which is about the same thing you just said, right?

It is totally off-topic because Yoshiki's actions and personality have nothing to do with his zodiac sign or the time he was born, it influences nothing and you are delusional if you think so. Yoshiki's metal health is related to what happened to him in his life, genetics, environment... he could've born at the exact same moment and turned out to be a completely different person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's not strange to be in the same city and not talk, I live in the same city with some of my best friends and sometimes we don't talk in 1 or 2 months, that's just life.

Also, take responsability for your own actions, don't blame it on your zodiac lol

Chill, we are just having fun. Astrology is an interesting topic. Nobody said you should believe everything it says. :) Psychology is pretty much also just educated guesswork, we will never fully understand the human psyche. :) we are just having conversation. I don't believe in daily horoscopes, but astrology is pseudoscience, it might actually have some truth to it, who knows? :D Some people believe in Jesus and Buddha, and others think star constellations have stuff to do with their lives. I'm open to explore. :D
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 26, 2018, 04:48:13 PM
You are literally guessing Yoshiki's personality based on astrology, that's offtopic and irrelevant. Also, psychology is NOT educated guesswork, psychology is a science and you can't compare it to something like astrology.

P.S: Pseudoscience IS bullshit.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: helenmoon on February 26, 2018, 04:51:33 PM
Naw, not off topic at all as it influences his psychological make-up.  As the site I was on said, above, which is about the same thing you just said, right?

It is totally off-topic because Yoshiki's actions and personality have nothing to do with his zodiac sign or the time he was born, it influences nothing and you are delusional if you think so. Yoshiki's metal health is related to what happened to him in his life, genetics, environment... he could've born at the exact same moment and turned out to be a completely different person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's not strange to be in the same city and not talk, I live in the same city with some of my best friends and sometimes we don't talk in 1 or 2 months, that's just life.

Also, take responsability for your own actions, don't blame it on your zodiac lol

As Teemah was saying, we are just speaking and of course everyone is responsible for his/her actions... people can have many different points of view and all are welcome :-)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 05:05:28 PM
Going full off topic, then.  I am Scorpio. I try, very, very hard not to believe in astrology - at all.  And if I look at the attributes given to my sign, I am exactly as described, do as described, react as described and not always a good thing for me or those around me.  I bite back and I can bite very hard.  Stinger comes out. My mother used to tell me as a child, even, I spoke with a forked tongue.  There was nothing anyone could say to me to make me back down or do as I was told if I didn't want to.  I lashed out at everyone and every thing and beware those that hurt me as the stinger went deep and it hurt.  Usually a huge psychological blow to the party who upset or hurt me. So, even though I don't want to believe it and even before I knew what my sign is supposed to be like, I was doing it and with a vengeance and.

So, maybe it is actually true and maybe some of Yoshiki's behaviors are due to his sign.  Maybe not. IJS
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 26, 2018, 05:15:54 PM
I recommend you to lay off the weed  ??? also, this is a topic about Yoshiki, nobody cares about your personal life.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: sasasama on February 26, 2018, 05:23:42 PM
Going full off topic, then.  I am Scorpio. I try, very, very hard not to believe in astrology - at all.  And if I look at the attributes given to my sign, I am exactly as described, do as described, react as described and not always a good thing for me or those around me.  I bite back and I can bite very hard.  Stinger comes out. My mother used to tell me as a child, even, I spoke with a forked tongue.  There was nothing anyone could say to me to make me back down or do as I was told if I didn't want to.  I lashed out at everyone and every thing and beware those that hurt me as the stinger went deep and it hurt.  Usually a huge psychological blow to the party who upset or hurt me. So, even though I don't want to believe it and even before I knew what my sign is supposed to be like, I was doing it and with a vengeance and.

So, maybe it is actually true and maybe some of Yoshiki's behaviors are due to his sign.  Maybe not. IJS

Well, I'm a Scorpio too, and the more interesting part is, that I was born on November 20. Same day as Yoshiki. I'm a drummer too, but other than that, I'm not near similar to Yoshiki. :D (Ok, I'm a crybaby too, but that's that). Neither of these things fits me, so I guess you can't put it on everyone. I was the chillest, most quiet, most shy child, when people hurt me, I never spoke back, people bullied me, but I always hold my tongue. I don't know, it just feels really unreliable to me. But yeah, we have different beliefs, I just wanted to say a counterexample. 
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 05:43:06 PM
Going full off topic, then.  I am Scorpio. I try, very, very hard not to believe in astrology - at all.  And if I look at the attributes given to my sign, I am exactly as described, do as described, react as described and not always a good thing for me or those around me.  I bite back and I can bite very hard.  Stinger comes out. My mother used to tell me as a child, even, I spoke with a forked tongue.  There was nothing anyone could say to me to make me back down or do as I was told if I didn't want to.  I lashed out at everyone and every thing and beware those that hurt me as the stinger went deep and it hurt.  Usually a huge psychological blow to the party who upset or hurt me. So, even though I don't want to believe it and even before I knew what my sign is supposed to be like, I was doing it and with a vengeance and.

So, maybe it is actually true and maybe some of Yoshiki's behaviors are due to his sign.  Maybe not. IJS

Well, I'm a Scorpio too, and the more interesting part is, that I was born on November 20. Same day as Yoshiki. I'm a drummer too, but other than that, I'm not near similar to Yoshiki. :D (Ok, I'm a crybaby too, but that's that). Neither of these things fits me, so I guess you can't put it on everyone. I was the chillest, most quiet, most shy child, when people hurt me, I never spoke back, people bullied me, but I always hold my tongue. I don't know, it just feels really unreliable to me. But yeah, we have different beliefs, I just wanted to say a counterexample.

Fair enough and good to hear.  I am November 2nd.  Right in the middle of it all.  You, being born on the 20th are on the cusp of Sagittarius and that probably plays a factor in the way you think and do things, if we go by zodiac signs.

I am, jealous and suspicious, must get to the bottom of everything, detest liars, am very loyal to my friends and don't take shit. LOL! Although I have learned to control that somewhat by walking away and stewing in my own juices as we say over here or at least we did.  Hahaha.  I do not like to hurt people, ever, but sometimes when I feel backed into a corner or was fighting with my ex because of the horrible things he did, he paid for it, verbally.  He said so as well.  Scorpio sting, is what he called it.  Also highly erotic nature and most illnesses are in that area.  When I was reading Scorpio traits and saw that as one of the ruling factors of Scorpios, I about flipped because that is me all over and then some.  And since that was the way I was, before I ever read what my traits were supposed to be, you maybe can imagine how my mouth dropped open when I read it.  ;D
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 05:45:55 PM
I recommend you to lay off the weed  ??? also, this is a topic about Yoshiki, nobody cares about your personal life.

Hahahaha ---- ooooooh, now we are asking for it, are we? I don't smoke weed, chicka.  What suddenly went up your arse?
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 05:47:33 PM
Teemeah, I am now in full on search mode for a copy of that DVD with subtitles.  If it exists, I will find it! And I will let you know.  8)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 26, 2018, 05:52:22 PM
Fair enough and good to hear.  I am November 2nd.  Right in the middle of it all.  You, being born on the 20th are on the cusp of Sagittarius and that probably plays a factor in the way you think and do things, if we go by zodiac signs.

yeah? And then how do you explain Yoshiki? He was born on the same day as her lol I'm sagittarius and I'm nothing like sasasama described either. Nothing went up my ass, I just don't like bullshit and this is a bullshit explanation of why Yoshiki is the way he is and totally off-topic, as it's not related to his mental health at all.

P.S1: Did you just assume my gender?
P.S2: just kidding about P.S1.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 06:00:17 PM
Fair enough and good to hear.  I am November 2nd.  Right in the middle of it all.  You, being born on the 20th are on the cusp of Sagittarius and that probably plays a factor in the way you think and do things, if we go by zodiac signs.

yeah? And then how do you explain Yoshiki? He was born on the same day as her lol I'm sagittarius and I'm nothing like sasasama described either. Nothing went up my ass, I just don't like bullshit and this is a bullshit explanation of why Yoshiki is the way he is and totally off-topic, as it's not related to his mental health at all.

P.S1: Did you just assume my gender?
P.S2: just kidding about P.S1.

As Teemeah mentioned before, we are just having some fun.  I don't 100% believe this shit at all.  Just because I match what books say I am, doesn't mean it's because of the day I was born.  Now if someone wanted to do that, then a true Sagittarius who is not on the cusp won't be the same as one who is.  Capiche?

As far as gender - you talk like a woman.  :P
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Teemeah on February 26, 2018, 06:08:09 PM
Ok, stop it, folks. There's no point in getting all worked up because of some astrology shit, ok? We were just having some fun, do you really need to ruin it with this kind of unnecessary lash out at people who have other opinions than you, pt_93? There was no harm in that conversation but suddenly it became bitter with personal attacks. let's stop this and get the thread back at its original topic then.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 06:11:45 PM
Ok, stop it, folks. There's no point in getting all worked up because of some astrology shit, ok? We were just having some fun, do you really need to ruin it with this kind of unnecessary lash out at people who have other opinions than you, pt_93? There was no harm in that conversation but suddenly it became bitter with personal attacks. let's stop this and get the thread back at its original topic then.

Amen!  8)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 26, 2018, 06:12:31 PM
Well, the negative qualities that you described can be changed, instead of saying you just fit the books, since you are self aware you should improve instead of being proud of it lol Your explanations make no sense, maybe in that way you are like Yoshiki :)

Ok, fine.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: LEMONedMe on February 26, 2018, 06:13:32 PM
Well, the negative qualities that you described can be changed, instead of saying you just fit the books, since you are self aware you should improve instead of being proud of it lol Your explanations make no sense, maybe in that way you are like Yoshiki :)

Ok, fine.

STOP!
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: pt_93 on February 26, 2018, 06:14:38 PM
Ok ok. Sorry ladies
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Joker on February 26, 2018, 10:37:40 PM
Yoshiki's metal health is related to what happened to him in his life, genetics, environment...

...and marketing.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: helenmoon on February 27, 2018, 10:04:13 AM
 ;D :P
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: matsumoto on February 27, 2018, 11:28:58 AM
Yoshiki's metal health is related to what happened to him in his life, genetics, environment...

...and marketing.

YOU WIN.

Edit: I just realized I don't even know what my astrological sign is. But a girl here at work pulls out her tarot deck all the time and I always get 'The Fool', which I find quite hilarious.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: kayabee on March 23, 2018, 03:14:02 AM
I know it's been a while since i've posted.

The jonghyun thing messed me up when it happened. I was a mess. He was failed by multiple systems. He was failed by his doctor and by the law enforcement. His sister called to have a wellness check and they arrived too late.

It seems like if people would've gotten to musicians like jonghyun or hide in a certain amount of time they'd still be here.

When it comes to yoshiki's mental health, it feels wrong to comment on it. When you said that he said it is hard for people to let go of their trauma because they've established themselves in it and identify with it, it really relateable. There was a time in my life where i had to take care of everyone while often almost having to physically fight my step dad because he couldn't put the bottle down. Between having to hide everyones medication in my room to hiding money and car keys, he left us and then got help. When he came back things were great, everyone was doing better but i got worse because I quit high school to help support my mother and pay bills, so when he came back it left this hole in me because i wasn't the care taker any more, i became more depressed as things got better, and even though my life is back at square one (repetitive drinking habits from step father), i am starting to realize that what i had was time to get myself straight and i didn't know how to use it because I never had it.

I've had multiple things happen to me and trust me, I can understand why people like yoshiki are scared to get away from their truama because it becomes so much like a comfort zone that once you leave it you're even more vulnerable.

as for him being a father, it kind of feels wrong to comment on it, what happens just happens. He wouldn't be a bad one in my personal opinion, becoming a parent is scary but once it happens instincts always usually tend to kick in. Yoshiki doesn't need to change per se, just needs to seek help.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: aki on March 23, 2018, 03:30:39 PM

The jonghyun thing messed me up when it happened. I was a mess. He was failed by multiple systems. He was failed by his doctor and by the law enforcement. His sister called to have a wellness check and they arrived too late.

It seems like if people would've gotten to musicians like jonghyun or hide in a certain amount of time they'd still be here.


I hope you're better now. I also had a hard time accepting reality and felt as if I had split off into another timeline. Jonghyun's death just feels so wrong especially because it seems that it could have been prevented. As for hide, no one really knows what his intention was but I guess that no mentally stable person regularly drinks themselves to the point of oblivion. Possibly, his passing could have been prevented too. But facts are that they're gone and it doesn't matter how much we wish we could travel back in time to stop shit from happening (I sometimes wish I could ::) ). I try to keep them alive in my heart (...that sounded less cheesy in my mind).

Now back to Yoshiki. He sure is kind of messed up mentally but then again he seems to have some sort of mental strength that keeps him going. He's still around and keeps creating music, interacts with us, encourages people to never give up and wants to be a role model for that. I think we should really appreciate our favorite musicians/artists/etc while they're still walking this planet. :)
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: kayabee on March 24, 2018, 01:50:41 AM

The jonghyun thing messed me up when it happened. I was a mess. He was failed by multiple systems. He was failed by his doctor and by the law enforcement. His sister called to have a wellness check and they arrived too late.

It seems like if people would've gotten to musicians like jonghyun or hide in a certain amount of time they'd still be here.


I hope you're better now. I also had a hard time accepting reality and felt as if I had split off into another timeline. Jonghyun's death just feels so wrong especially because it seems that it could have been prevented. As for hide, no one really knows what his intention was but I guess that no mentally stable person regularly drinks themselves to the point of oblivion. Possibly, his passing could have been prevented too. But facts are that they're gone and it doesn't matter how much we wish we could travel back in time to stop shit from happening (I sometimes wish I could ::) ). I try to keep them alive in my heart (...that sounded less cheesy in my mind).

Now back to Yoshiki. He sure is kind of messed up mentally but then again he seems to have some sort of mental strength that keeps him going. He's still around and keeps creating music, interacts with us, encourages people to never give up and wants to be a role model for that. I think we should really appreciate our favorite musicians/artists/etc while they're still walking this planet. :)

I'm a bit better now.  It still doesn't seem real. I got into kpop as an escape from what i mentioned up in my post about having to quit school. It made me feel happy because it felt like everything around me was ruined. I was angry. Shinee and especially Jonghyun's solo work is what took my mind off of things, so when he passed I was devastated.
I know that with hide the ambulance was called but they took forever to get there it seems. if they wouldn't have taken so long they could've possibly saved his life, same with jonghyun. It's sad that people with such beautiful hearts and souls have passed. You're right, after Jonghyun's death I started to appreciate all the musicians I loved a lot more because no one is guaranteed tomorrow, you know?

I think what yoshiki experienced could really mess anyone up, it's sad he had to go through that trauma, but as fans I don't think we have a right to comment on it ya know? Kinda like how everyone has been bringing up him being a parent and all that stuff. To me it's a boundary you don't cross. I think yoshiki is a brilliant musician/artist and who he is as a person is something we'll never know nor do we have a right to.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: TaijiSawada on January 17, 2020, 01:50:11 PM
he's constantly doing his best to keep the ship afloat (even though he's been spending most of his time in music-unrelated projects rather than X). Honestly, Yoshiki looks like he's permanently hurt and despite all the efforts he can't seem to heal... It's almost like he has an everlasting PTSD. To quote his own words, "if I can find a way to escape this life without killing myself... Maybe I should invent it". Quite chilling. I just hope that in his entourage he has other close friends other than Toshi.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: Ekapri on April 19, 2020, 05:09:15 AM
he's constantly doing his best to keep the ship afloat (even though he's been spending most of his time in music-unrelated projects rather than X). Honestly, Yoshiki looks like he's permanently hurt and despite all the efforts he can't seem to heal... It's almost like he has an everlasting PTSD. To quote his own words, "if I can find a way to escape this life without killing myself... Maybe I should invent it". Quite chilling. I just hope that in his entourage he has other close friends other than Toshi.
This is make me sad,i hope there's someone who trully care for him as Yoshiki Hayashi not Yoshiki from X japan.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: TaijiSawada on April 19, 2020, 08:19:48 AM
I'm afraid that other than Toshi he's got no closer friends... And I often think that all of his caring (sometimes to the point of excess) about being constantly in touch with the fanbase literally stems from the need to compensate for the loneliness.

he's a generous person but he's alone, at least that's what I could sense from his social media presence.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: nextlife on April 24, 2020, 05:54:14 PM
Yes I agree. I believe the only true friend he has is Toshi. He does seem to be unhappy, and his issues are unresolved. Some posts suggest hes putting it on as he is some heroine of a sad play. But who really knows... I would venture to guess from all that I have read, hes very giving and generous.  Thats an open invitation to get screwed. So he should get someone on his level and try not dating needie women. I do hope he is ok during this COVID ordeal we are all going through I'm in NYC :'(Its just too hard... I hope all of you are ok and staying healthy.
Title: Re: Yoshiki's mental health
Post by: TaijiSawada on April 24, 2020, 06:57:17 PM
Yes I agree. I believe the only true friend he has is Toshi. He does seem to be unhappy, and his issues are unresolved. Some posts suggest hes putting it on as he is some heroine of a sad play. But who really knows... I would venture to guess from all that I have read, hes very giving and generous.  Thats an open invitation to get screwed. So he should get someone on his level and try not dating needie women. I do hope he is ok during this COVID ordeal we are all going through I'm in NYC :'(Its just too hard... I hope all of you are ok and staying healthy.

thanks, hope you're safe too. Where I live (Italy) we're doing a bit better every day even though Covid-19 stroke at its harshest in the very beginning of the pandemic in January; hopefully all of this can settle down in a couple of months.

As for Yoshiki, I know little about his dating habits. I just wish he could find some kind of long-time companionship besides the occasional supermodel and whatnot. Maybe even in love he's a perfectionist and heaven knows how many relationships derail because of unrealistic standards...