That long article: (I'm not 100% sure about my translation. Please point out if you find any mistakes/misunderstandings. )
(First summarizing the conference, divorce, bankruptcy, break off from HOH... skip.)
After that, Toshi talks in our magazine's exclusive interview, about his torment in acting as a couple (with his ex-wife) in this 10 years and how he had been oppressed with spiritual stress until his body [health] collapsed – furthermore, about his friendship since childhood with Yoshiki. He also tells us his plans from now on.
In our magazine it has been posted how Toshi considered finding a job in his acquaintance's company, intending to quit singing when unable to make sounds towards the end of last year. However, right after taking part in the PV shooting in Hollywood, he found out the way of his life again - supported by Yoshiki, his friend since kindergarten, and friendship of other X JAPAN members.
Toshi, who was still unable to make sounds when he went to LA, recovered rapidly over the time he spent there with Yoshiki and other X members. His doctor who went along was also surprised by the quick recover.
During our interview, the things he talks about are shocking, but Toshi himself is patient and kind, answering our questions gently.
Over 100 media people attended the press conference he held in Tokyo, last month. Some questions raised by the journalists were tough [severe]:
"You've broken off from HOH, but how do you feel about those people who might have join HOH because of you?"
"You've been speaking in the position of HOH's victim, but how do you feel, that you are at same time the person causing the injury (to those people join HOH because of you)?"
For the questions like this, Toshi answered sincerely.
"If people are involved (in HOH) because of me, I sincerely apologize. And I'm aware of the fact that I'm also causing the injury."
Responding to whatever tough questions, admitting the fact to have caused injury - also, on the conference, he said he had started to look at those things that he used to ignore [escape from].
Wasn't it required much courage (for him to answer to those questions) like that?
In this way, our journalist [interviewer] was restrained [interceded] gently by him.
"No, before talking about courage, it was me that caused troubles to people around (for the sudden cancellation of my work). Regardless of me, the people who have been supporting me are also influenced in these events."
Toshi said things like that for many times.
"And what I'd like to do is to face the reality, to work hard, for those people who get in trouble [confusion] because of me. I got rid of it luckily owing to my physical exhaustion. And I'm luckily supported by my friends and acquaintances (including financial support). Thanks to members and Yoshiki..."
Moreover, Toshi talks about his approach to Yoshiki in LA, wholeheartedly and happily.
"At the end of last year, I was unable to make sounds, thinking that I might be unable to sing any longer, even for X JAPAN.
"And I genuinely decided to work, looking for a job in my friends' company.
"However, just then I got the chance to go to LA for the PV shooting in Jan.
"At first I declined [felt like resisting] considering the condition of my health. But, after my arrival to LA, together with Yoshiki, whom I have association with for 40 years long, about X JAPAN's future; about our future plans... gradually [leisurely] we started to talk them out.
"We talked about work, and even made silly jokes about each other. (Laughs)
"After dinner we went to his house, drank wine that was made by him, and talked leisurely.
"We had a great time. We laughed out of the bottom of our hearts. It was, truly, the first time (to be so happy) in the past 20 years.
"I became a 'star' when I was young. We sold good. But in that status I began to feel bad.
"During the 20 years, when communicating with other people, I never[seldom] laughed [smiled] wholeheartedly, relieved and vividly, I think.
"As friends since childhood, since kindergarten, we returned to that time.
"Our happiness at the zero point is at a time when Karaoke hasn't been invented. The two of us played the guitar and drums at random, singing songs. After school, such was our game..." says Toshi. You can sense his nostalgia even from behind the sunglasses, "In that way - 'let's make music together!'"
"Yoshiki said to me that, 'From now on, I'll be your strength.'"
When talking about Yoshiki, Toshi seems to be filled with innocent and pure joy.
"Yoshiki said 'just tell whatever you want to say', so I said please produce my solo concert! (Laughs)"
When our journalist [interviewer] says "Looking for a job to work for X JAPAN again?" Toshi says, with a big smile on his face:
"Yes, that's right! (Laughs) In that way, I feel totally different from before. I drifted off the course, and am now back on the right way thanks to members and friends. I'm very happy to come back again.
"I feel so lucky, and so happy, especially about talking with Yoshiki at his home.
"Just because of that..."
In this way, as a prelude (of his activities afterwards), Toshi says:
"From now on, I'll clarify what should be clarified, settle what should be settled, and undertake what should be undertaken. I wanna convey messages to everyone sincerely through music, and 'put Samurai spirit into practice' with Yoshiki. (Laughs)
"That certainly isn't pure Bushido. In such mood (as a 'newly born'), just march into the world again. The new beginning will be on 24th, Feb."
This time, he has received many mails from fans through MIXI after he posted the blog (i.e. "To everyone").
"Since the MIXI post, I've received about 4000 mails, most of which include supportive words. Some of them mentioned how they were encouraged by my experience. Such people must have learned a lot from their similar experience.
"'Me too.' 'I divorced, too.' 'I've also declared bankruptcy.' – mentioned in many mails. As for my declaration (of bankruptcy), 'Be strong [Work hard]!' 'I have similar experience, just come on!' everyone's working hard, and those (supportive mails) are their true voices. Such words that people don't mention in public were included in the mails, showing their support to me.
"I myself would like to change these voices into music, and convey it back to them, from now on in my activities as an artist.
"When reading the mails, one song came out of my mind.
"That's a song for my departure, a song about my self without ornaments [refinement], about cutting off from the past, and about my new beginning. It's called 'Airport'.
"Like 'that coward, afraid to say a word', such words are included in the lyric. Looking at the past in that way, I felt so true and honest.
"For those who wrote mails to me, it might be a same [common] feeling.
"Perhaps, my song can become our strength.
"I myself, just like what I've said on the press conference, would like to keep on singing, as an artist's duty."
Cutting off from the life he had lived in the past, Toshi wants to try his utmost to go ahead.
"Just like what I've said, things won't go on smoothly. In spite of that, I will tide over any difficulties, with my strength, and when my strength isn't enough, with the help of friends. With the support (from fans, friends, etc), I wanna go ahead."
To bid farewell to his past, Toshi's going to hold a Solo Sayonara concert, produced by Yoshiki. All X JAPAN members will participate! The keyword is "Samurai spirit"!
With his childhood friend and X JAPAN members' friendship as his strong backing, we hope Toshi can overcome any difficulties on his road.
