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The Visual Kei Best Styling Awards 2018

matsumoto · 745

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Offline matsumoto

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on: July 05, 2018, 04:34:19 PM
In our last post in the VK Fashion Series (wait, did we just say we’re going to do a whole series on this? well, probably not), we put together a ranking of the worst styled people in the Visual Kei industry. Now that we know who gets dressed in the dark, who shops at Salvation Army, who channels their inner suburban mum, who secretly likes wearing lingerie and who copycats everyone else, we might just as well talk about those who, in contrast, would never dream of committing such fashion faux-pas. Bellow, you will find our ranking of the most stylish people in the scene. And you, who do you think deserves the Golden Toshi here?

[Click here to read the The Visual Kei Bad Styling Awards 2018]


#12 Miyavi


Is Miyavi even considered visual kei? Probably not, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not a fan of Miyavi, but his recent stellar improvements in the fashion department almost made us forget what a bloody toxic visual hazard he was in the mid-2000s. See? We all deserve a second chance. We like his new haircut and the long layered robes, which effectively conceal the fact that he weights 90 lbs soaking wet. Congrats, Miyavi, fatherhood and maturity look good on you! Hope you burned your sk8er boi crap.


#11 Toshiya (Dir en Grey)


I don’t know this person and just trying to pronounce his name has earned me a sore throat - is it tosh-eee-ah or tosh-ay-ah? Nevermind, no one cares about bassists anyway1. This chap’s pictures keeping popping up on my Pinterest feed and to be honest, he kind of looks like he jumped right out of a sappy K-drama, with his bowl cut and his permanent tantrum-toddler frown. But hey, we’re not here to judge Tow-sheeea’s offended vegan mug. Whoever he is, he seems to have a pretty decent wardrobe. The long black evasé coats definitely do it for you, sir. Kudos. We really hope you share some of your styling tips with your mates Cursed Child and Suburban Mum.


#10 Marina Bozzio (Aldious)


We find the lack of ladies in the Visual Kei scene disturbing. Recently, someone brought the existence of a badass female-only band to our attention (thanks Morgan!). We can’t help but love idea of girls slaying it to power metal and showing the patriarchy that they can suck it up and stick their biases up their derrières. We're not fond of the rest of the band’s image, but Marina’s stage costumes are always on fleek. Can you think of anything sexier than a lady in a chic cocktail dress SLAYING her drum set like there’s no tomorrow? Us neither. Fun fact? Marina is Terry Bozzio’s stepdaughter. Not that she needs to bring up her daddy to be cool, though.


#9 Inoran (Luna Sea)

Inoran has been growing out a random strand of hair on the back of his head for ages, and just for that, he deserves our respect. I mean, as much respect as a guy with a random piece of long hair poking out of his scalp can possibly deserve. Now serious. Inoran dresses smart with a subtle hint of négligé. If he were French, we would call him a bobo, which means a dude who would otherwise have been a hobo, if he didn’t have a nice fat checkbook shoved down the back pocket of his tattered Burberry jeans. Either way, it’s pretty hard to pull off that look - it’s a very fine line between bobo and hobo. Mr. Inoran is on the safe side of it.  His hairstyle is cool too. Congrats, Inoran. Hide that random piece of hair well, if Ryuichi sees it, he’ll start growing one out too.


#8 Issay (Der Zibet)


Creepy Goth Overlord is a b*tch of a look to pull off. Most of the people on our Worst Styled Awards 2018 list have tried and failed at some point. But hey, this guy naturally looks like he drinks the blood of innocent virgins with his breakfast cereal, with his luscious long hair and his creepy AF eyeballs. He reminds me of a bloke that used to hang out all the time at the local goth club back when I was an emo kid2. He once showed up with an inflatable doll in BDSM attire on a leash. He just sat there sipping his Bloody Mary and petting his plastic date’s head suggestively. No one dared to laugh. No one. Just like I don’t dare laugh at Mr. Issay for this cringy album cover.


#7 Hidehiko Hoshino (Buck-Tick)


If you know Buck-Tick, you probably know his band has its fair share of fashion atrocities. But guess what? If you look to the right side of the stage and squint really hard, you’ll see a pretty decent bloke on guitar #2. (I know, I know, no one cares about rhythm guitars3). That mighty fine chap is called Hide (and don’t worry, he’s alive). Fun fact? He modelled for Jean-Paul Gaultier in the 90s. That’s just how awesome he is. Hide sure knows how to pull off the causal dad. Actually, he makes us think of a French dad strolling through St. Germain-des-Prés on a Sunday afternoon. Carrying a baguette on one hand and Vanessa Paradis on the other.


#6 Yoshiki (X Japan)


We don’t think Yoshiki is particularly stylish, but he paid us a lot of money4 to be included on this list, so here he is.


#5 Ryoichi Endo (Soft Ballet)


You might not know Soft Ballet, but they were around for a while, and they were a big deal in the Japanese goth scene in the 90s (I mean, not that we were there sniffing glue with the scene kids on Dobuita Street in 1990). Anyway. Let’s get poetic. If Soft Ballet’s music was anthropomorphic and clad in fabric, it would have materialized as Mr. Endo, no less. Dark, sleek, elegant, charming, intriguing, haunting. Mr. Endo is the result of that one time Audrey Hepburn and Peter Murphy made sweet, sweet love on the back seat of Siouxsie Sioux’s shiny black DeLorean DMC-125.  I have no clue how else to describe what’s so fascinating about this guy’s style. Style is like the ability to lick your own elbow - either you have it or you don’t6.  As we’ve said before (see: Issay), not everyone can do goth. Goth is an art. And Mr. Endo’s sense of goth is not something you can find readily available at Hot Topic (sorry you had to find out this way, Morrie.)


#4 Yagami Toll (Buck-Tick)


The legend says Toll once had a massive argument with his mum. You can’t keep wearing that abominable ‘do, my son, you will never get a job, she groaned.  SHUT UP MUM, THIS IS NOT A PHASE, Toll yelled back before he slammed the door to his The Stalin-themed room. The year was 1978. Forty years later, Toll is still committed to proving his mum just that. It. Was. Not. A. F*cking. Phase. Just for that, the man deserves our respect. Also, Toll doesn’t complain that his spine is about to break out of his neck when he plays the drums. Toll sucks it up and does his job, despite being older than the dinosaurs. Toll is a good guy. Be like Toll.


#3 Taiji Sawada (X Japan, Loudness)


Taiji, also known as the best bassist The Land Of The Rising Sun has ever seen, totally deserves a spot on this list. Taiji was the one who made us all rethink our ‘no one cares about bassists’ policy. You totally broke the glass ceiling, sir. Kanpai! He and the late Hide were buddies and too bad they both carried their very well-kept fashion secrets to the grave. Few people can pull off the badass biker look with 80s hooker undertones quite as flawlessly as he did. I once bought a cowboy hat in hopes of looking like Taiji. Unfortunately for me, I just looked like a twatwaffle sissy in a cowboy hat.


#2 Hide (X Japan)


What happens if you go out wearing a potato sack? Right, you look like you’re wearing a potato sack. What happens if Hide wears a potato sack? It’s high fashion, b*tch.  Throughout his tragically short life, we saw him wear some of the strangest, WTFiest outfits conceivable, including, but not limited to: a fluffy pink knit backless sweater, a bright orange onesie, an astronaut suit, a !spacegopnik tracksuit, his grandma’s sahri, a witch costume (we could go on, but you get our drift). And just when you thought he couldn’t get any classier, Hide popped the f*ck it pill and showed us that he looked just as badass half-naked and covered in cockroaches. Go Hide. The only reason you’re not #1 on this list, sir, is because you’re… well, dead.


#1 Sugizo (Luna Sea, X Japan)


Sugizo is a prince. He only eats organic low-carb vegan fair trade sharing economy fresh produce and is certified 100% cruelty-free. He plays the guitar, the violin, does some cringy backing vocals, does charity work in the Middle East, raised a kid with a weird name, he’s in a kazillion bands, hosts the Lunatic Fest every year, looks presentable in flip-flops and speedos, keeps his cool around Copycat Ryuichi… can you think of anything negative to say about Sugizo? Me neither. Sugizo has never broken his mum’s favourite china vase. Sugizo is nice to everyone, even on Monday mornings. Sugizo doesn’t snore. Sugizo doesn’t poop7. Hence, Sugizo deserves to be crowned Best Dressed VK Artist of All Time.


________________________

Footnotes:
1 That’s not true.
2 Metaphor used for style purposes only. We were never really emo. We just had some weird bangs going on.
3 That’s not true either.
4 That’s totally true.
5 Fake. Everyone knows Siouxsie drove a Mercedes.
6 Please tell me you didn’t try it.
7 The accuracy of this assumption is disputed in several academic circles.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2018, 08:53:52 AM by matsumoto »



Offline pt_93

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Reply #1 on: July 06, 2018, 05:07:36 AM
I showed this to my sister and when we got to Yoshiki, she said “OMG SO ACCURATE. Sounds like something he would do”. She’s a fan of you



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #2 on: July 06, 2018, 09:35:51 AM
aww kween, I'm a fan of your sister too. tell her to join our harem gang  8)



Teemeah

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Reply #3 on: July 06, 2018, 10:32:05 AM
I laughed so hard. :D But... Heath should totally be on this list IMHO :P



Offline sasasama

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Reply #4 on: July 08, 2018, 11:39:31 AM
Sugi wins! Of course he does! Loved this! Hahahaha



Offline Kasumi

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Reply #5 on: July 27, 2018, 09:33:33 PM
I laughed so hard. :D But... Heath should totally be on this list IMHO :P
Who is Heath? /jk

Thanks for this ranking as well. I laughed my fucking ass off.

While I'm away, read this line again...