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Yoshiki's mental health

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Offline matsumoto

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Reply #30 on: February 15, 2018, 04:30:45 PM
I don't think he's self destructive at all. Or better, I guess he has no idea what 'self-detsruive' really means. He seems to take very good care of his appearance, life and overall health, actually (except for the spine issues, but hey, that's a hopeless cause). I mean, look at him: very nice teeth, very nice skin, probably gets botox monthly, probably eats right and works out (otherwise he wouldn't be in such good shape), sounds like he's followed by doctors regularly, etc. For us shrinks, a self-destructive individual is your next-door hobo who hasn't been to the doctor or dentist in ten years, doesn't shower much, lives off instant noodles and pizza, smokes five packs a day and starts drinking at noon. Even more intentionally self-destructive behaviour is self-harming, provoking overdoses for the sake of feeling like crap, anorexia, bulimia, intentionally quitting your job and dropping out of your social circle because you don't think you deserve those, etc. Compared to these, insisting that you want to drum despite your limitations and making a big deal when you're seriously tired is not much, really.

Yoshiki, bro, you're actually doing 98% better than most humans, word.  ;)

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Offline Fullmetal-Hana

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Reply #31 on: February 15, 2018, 05:13:54 PM
Ah, maybe I'm worrying too much then. Bad habit of mine.

Some of the things he does make me think "dude, what are you doing? that can't be healthy."
Especially the lack of sleep. I know he has a busy guy with an insane schedule to keep, but he really should sleep more than he does. Among other things, lack of sleep could potentially lead to heart problems. Like you said, he most likely does eat right and exercise, which could reduce the risk of something like that happening. But still, it worries me.



Teemeah

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Reply #32 on: February 15, 2018, 07:27:37 PM
I think he sleeps enough, most pf the time. He just likes this vampire image and keeps insisting he doesn't sleep, when in every other insta video and photo he is dozing off lol. Maybehe doesn't sleep 8 hours a day but hey neither do I. :)



Offline lakeisle

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Reply #33 on: February 16, 2018, 08:52:12 PM

As for his mom, we don't know much about her. Except that she agreed to hand over millions of yen to her teenage son when he wanted to debut X. I'm pretty glad she did, but stuff like that doesn't happen in, say, European society. If an 18 year old kid over here who smokes and drinks his ass off, dyes his hair weird colours, gets scolded all the time by school principals and engages in bar fights ever other day, no sane mom will give him a penny. Even if he makes some really darn nice music. (Source: I was sent to boarding school for much less and I didn't even have to tell my mom I wanted to debut a badass heavy metal band with my crazy-haired friends  8) )

That, coupled with her possibly overprotecting him and going all hypochondriac about his (very minor) health issues has resulted in a slightly dysfunctional perception of what death/suffering/going nuts really mean. His 'I almost died' formulation would equal, in normal language, 'I really worked my ass off, got damn tired and got a good few scratches'.

It's true that we don't know much about his mother. But I doubt his mother is an overprotective type.  I don't take it seriously she said her son will not be alive until he becomes an adult. Yoshiki seems to quote her words repeatedly because he likes it.

According to fragmentary information I have read in his autobiography, his mother is far from a mother who overprotect. It is written in his autobiography that his mother worked a while after her husband died. And she abandoned all of her late husband's belongings and photos in his house. His mother in my image is very independent and strong. Not the type that stick to her husband and children.

General overprotective mothers watch and meddle in all about their children, don't they? But she didn't seem to care about Yoshiki's drinking, smoking, fighting, riding motorcycles and hanging with brats. She even allowed Yoshiki to dye his hair in high school days. I can't even imagine her being an overprotective mother. Because overprotective mothers are greatly concerned about the minor mistakes or deviations from their children. (My mom was that type)

She's rather the traditional fatherlike type, always busy with work and occasionally buy a present for children, in our society. I like that she didn't force Yoshiki to study, bought him drums and took him to the KISS concert. She seems to have had more of a good influence on him. But I don't know well.

off topic : Yoshiki got teeth implant.



Teemeah

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Reply #34 on: February 16, 2018, 09:22:30 PM
That's not Yoshiki quoting his mom, his mother told this story in We Are X herself, in her own voice, that Yoshiki was born a very weak baby and doctors told her he would likely not reach adulthood.

I think, drumming helped to improve his overall health (and ironically, ruined it later on). You really need to be in good physical condition to drum, especially speed metal that he did when he was younger. We have seen people survive stuff doctors said would be not possible, so I am not surprised that he did survive, despite what doctors predicted. He has an exceptionally strong willpower, he can rule his body. That's an amazing feat. I don't know how to do that, I am trying to learn to do it. Whenever I am crazy suffering at the gym at failure/break point with repetitions, I remind myself that my body is giving me fake signals to stop because I am used to a low pain tolerance level (minor headache? Pop a painkiller immediately...). Yoshiki actually inspires me to endure the pain in gym and not think like "omg it's painful so I must stop otherwise my arm will fall off" :D Because it won't, of course.

off: Yoshiki obviously has fake teeth. :) But most Western stars do, too. I know Japanese kind of like the messy teeth like Toshi has, but Yoshiki has been living in the US for so long. I don't mind teeth implants. I myself had my teeth straightened out with braces, so...



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #35 on: February 17, 2018, 05:39:03 AM
Is Marie Matteucci for real? She was in a relationship with Yoshiki? Can I trust what she has written about him?

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Teemeah

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Reply #36 on: February 17, 2018, 08:24:54 AM
Is Marie Matteucci for real? She was in a relationship with Yoshiki? Can I trust what she has written about him?

Can you give a link or something? It's hard to guess stuff, you know.



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #37 on: February 17, 2018, 08:37:50 AM
Is Marie Matteucci for real? She was in a relationship with Yoshiki? Can I trust what she has written about him?

Can you give a link or something? It's hard to guess stuff, you know.

Sure! I figured you would already know about this. Thanks!  :)

http://diary-of-moonlight.diary.ru/p170800396.htm?oam

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Teemeah

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Reply #38 on: February 17, 2018, 10:02:19 AM
I would be careful with this. Apart from fan blogs, I don't find any reliable source that would remotely confirm this story. The website says this was a "radio interview"..... That can be faked anytime anyone wishes so. Unless someone actually has a recording. I don't see any reliable sources where Yoshiki would have ever mentioned he had a long time girlfriend. Nor did he ever mentioned anything when he talks about hide's death. If this story were true, there are discrepancies in how he described the happenings around hide's death, for example. If they met in 1996 and were in a relationship for 6 years, it means they were together for 2 years when hide died. And she would have been there to support him emotionally. The puzzle just doesn't fit together at all. Her poetry book is indeed dedicated to Yoshiki (I checked at Amazon) but that could be anything from friendship to gratitude for helping her to publish the book. It doesn't anywhere suggest a love relationship. So, I don't know. Maybe lakieisle has some Japanese articles on this? Because in English, there are only fan blogs.

I need to check Yoshiki's biography too but I don't remember reading anything about a girlfriend there, either, apart from that japanese singer lady he briefly dated.
« Last Edit: February 17, 2018, 10:12:18 AM by Teemeah »



Offline Guruxo

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Reply #39 on: February 17, 2018, 09:24:18 PM
I've never heard of this woman before now, but after a search on google I think she is the lady in the Silent Jealousy video and the Dahlia video. She might be in some others, but I don't know.  :-\



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #40 on: February 19, 2018, 09:31:50 AM
Just dragging my old ass fan self in here.  8)
Yes, she is for real. I have a really hard time recalling it because this dates back to 2006-ish. I don't know what her relationship to him was (girlfriend or close friend, persumably), but she even published a book with a special dedication for him. Uncle Google just told me the book is called Anachronism and came out in the early 2000s. You can see that the book has a dedication saying 'This book is dedicated to Yoshiki Hayashi, I love you' or something of the sort. There's also a really nice poem called 'Tragic News (for Hideto)', presumably written for Hide.

Source: French forums I used to visit when I was a kid, where nosy fans digged some pretty weird rabbit holes. Somebody I used to be in contact with even bought the darn book and scanned/took photos of it for the fandom (this was way before Google Books was a thing). 
« Last Edit: February 19, 2018, 09:54:33 AM by matsumoto »

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Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #41 on: February 19, 2018, 10:13:46 AM
Thanks, matsumoto.  I've still got her page or blog up as she keeps adding to it.   I've been trying to go through it but there are so many links to so many things, including Yoshiki and also other things but they are all current, too.  One of the links on there, I believe, takes one to Amazon where that book you mentioned is for sale, currently.

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Teemeah

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Reply #42 on: February 19, 2018, 11:04:36 AM
I don't doubt she exists, I just doubt the fact they had a love relationship (like, being a real couple living together and stuff). Being close friends is a different thing.



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #43 on: February 19, 2018, 11:38:31 AM
I have no idea either, she could even be his blond-caucasian thrid-degree cousin for all I care.  ;D

She was really pretty in the Dahlia PV, though. And her poems are surprisingly good for someone who released a single book that was probably read by a max of 10 people.

Edit: work is slow, so here's the poem she (probably) wrote for Hide:

Quote
Tragic News (for Hideto)

I don't want to wait another hour
The trees are growing around my eyes
I don't know if I mind
But in the chaos of drunken truth
You turn to me, I run from you
I lost the will
I lost the will
I lost the will to live

Yoshiki also has one for him, but I kind of prefer this one. Short, sweet and enigmatic.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2018, 11:42:39 AM by matsumoto »

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Teemeah

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Reply #44 on: February 19, 2018, 08:41:18 PM
Umm, I don't want to sound like a bitch (I know I do), but I can write poems like this, and even in Russian. :P



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #45 on: February 20, 2018, 05:11:54 AM
She claims to have been in a "relationship" with Yoshiki for 6 months or so, then that they have remained friends for 10 or more years, depending on when she wrote that.  I don't think that's impossible at all.  In fact, I tend to believe it's probably true.

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline lakeisle

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Reply #46 on: February 20, 2018, 08:49:49 AM
That's not Yoshiki quoting his mom, his mother told this story in We Are X herself, in her own voice, that Yoshiki was born a very weak baby and doctors told her he would likely not reach adulthood.

As far as I remember, he used to talk about it himself before "We Are X" was released. I'm not sure. Memory is often distorted. If I find the source, I'll post it.

Apart from that, I don't think interviewees's speech in "We Are X" are objective. Albeit it's off topic, some people don't believe that Yoshiki and Hide planned to reorganize X Japan when Hide was alive. Who knows? There is no witness. Yoshiki claims he and Hide planned for a reunion, but Hide died. There is nobody to prove his claim.

In "We Are X", the writer of Yoshiki's autobiography makes a statement about "their" plan for reunion. But what she talks about is just what she heard from Yoshiki. I think the interviewees are selected according to Yoshiki's taste.



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #47 on: February 20, 2018, 09:10:18 AM
Umm, I don't want to sound like a bitch (I know I do), but I can write poems like this, and even in Russian. :P

It sure is a simple poem but there's something interesting about it, knowing she probably knew the guy and the words might have a special meaning we can't seize. Googleread her book, seriously. Her poetry is interesting, I dare say she might have written or co-written or been the voice-over girl in some of X's late 90s stuff. Her style is remarkably similar to Yoshiki's lyrics.

Apart from that, I don't think interviewees's speech in "We Are X" are objective. Albeit it's off topic, some people don't believe that Yoshiki and Hide planned to reorganize X Japan when Hide was alive.

I kind of don't believe it myself. They sure would have wanted to do it, but I don't think they would ever actually do it. Hide was super into his solo career, Yoshiki already had his Violet UK project thing in mind, plus X doesn't seem to work at all without Toshi. I don't think the 2nd X would have seen the light at all.


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Teemeah

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Reply #48 on: February 20, 2018, 09:36:58 AM
We will never know these things but I would rather rely on what has been said by the members than listen to ungrounded rumours started and circulated by godknowswho. Fans, anti-fans, people who seek attention. If Yoshiki's mom says he was a weak kid, I have no reason to think she would be lying. Sure, he used all these things to build a kind of myth around himself, but that's what most celebrities do. Korean superstar Rain built his entire image around the hardworking ugly boy who didn't even have ramen to eat when his mother died. Most celebrities have a touching story or two to sell. How much of that is true, and how much the story was colored up, only they know. Apparently Pata and Heath and even Sugizo are fine with these stories, maybe they are bound by contracts to keep their mouths shut or maybe these stories are simply just true. Anyways, I'm repeating myself but -- I have no reason to listen to rumours instead of listening to what actual band members and people who know them say.



Offline lakeisle

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Reply #49 on: February 21, 2018, 02:27:10 AM
I dare say she might have written or co-written or been the voice-over girl in some of X's late 90s stuff. Her style is remarkably similar to Yoshiki's lyrics.


When I first listened to the concept of Violet UK, something like "combination of music and fashion", my reaction was like... "??????? What the hell is that?"

But, since hearing about her, I've come to believe that the concept was inspired by her. Because she was a fashion model, right? It may be my delusion, but I believe so.



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #50 on: February 21, 2018, 02:29:17 AM
Hi lakeisle, Yes, she was a model.  So you are correct in that.   :)

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline matsumoto

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Reply #51 on: February 21, 2018, 09:06:08 AM
I dare say she might have written or co-written or been the voice-over girl in some of X's late 90s stuff. Her style is remarkably similar to Yoshiki's lyrics.


When I first listened to the concept of Violet UK, something like "combination of music and fashion", my reaction was like... "??????? What the hell is that?"

But, since hearing about her, I've come to believe that the concept was inspired by her. Because she was a fashion model, right? It may be my delusion, but I believe so.

Funny enough, I feel that way too! ;) Well, most artists have their own pet muse! She was a stunning beauty back in the Dahlia days, she had something dark and mysterious about her. Her poetry is raw and weird, it sounds pretty much like music lyrics of the Yoshiki kind. I sort of wish she had done more as an artist or shared her impressions of X in the late 1990s. I don't know why, I'm curious.

Also, too bad Violet UK never really worked. I sort of imagined it would be a grand Dahlia-like spinoff, but it was just a bunch of catwalk models walking on stage with rather lame background music. (or maybe I'm just too much of a metalhead to appreciate that)

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Offline lakeisle

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Reply #52 on: February 21, 2018, 12:52:32 PM
Hi lakeisle, Yes, she was a model.  So you are correct in that.   :)

LEMONedMe, Thanks for the information.


Funny enough, I feel that way too! ;) Well, most artists have their own pet muse! She was a stunning beauty back in the Dahlia days, she had something dark and mysterious about her. Her poetry is raw and weird, it sounds pretty much like music lyrics of the Yoshiki kind. I sort of wish she had done more as an artist or shared her impressions of X in the late 1990s. I don't know why, I'm curious.

Also, too bad Violet UK never really worked. I sort of imagined it would be a grand Dahlia-like spinoff, but it was just a bunch of catwalk models walking on stage with rather lame background music. (or maybe I'm just too much of a metalhead to appreciate that)

I have a sudden urge to read her book. I will do, but maybe after analyzing the lyrics of X Japan(This is what I'm currently doing) ㅋㅋ

I kind of envy you, matsumoto. I discovered VioletUK last year, and had no time to imagine their future. I couldn't even ask X fans about VUK. Because they seemed to consider VUK disappointment, frustration, and failure. And I couldn't find any attractive VUK songs myself.

I'm curious too. My old-fashioned and fixed idea says that fashion show music is bound to be lame. In fashion shows, designer's work should be spotlighted as much as possible. Music should not distract attention. So fashion show music can't be revolutionary. Like yoga music. The function of yoga music is to make people concentrate on yoga. Yoga music itself is not the purpose.

Yes, I know, I have too many stereotypes. But at the same time, I admire people who break my stereotypes. I am curious about his(her?) plan for "combination of music and fashion". But is there any possibility it will be realized?



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #53 on: February 21, 2018, 01:34:10 PM
I mostly agree with you. If we see things under a certain light, Kiss, X Japan, Hide, David Bowie, Siouxsie, etc. were actually more than just bands/musicians. They didn't just create music but also their very own aesthetic - people liked to listen to them, look like them, dress like them, act like them. That's what I conceive as a blend of music and fashion and I don't think you can blend things any further without making a big mess 8)

That being said, every Violet UK song I've ever listened to was a huge disapointment indeed. The lyrics are just a mix of purple prose and depression. The singers aren't exactly awesome - they mostly alternate husky whispers with high pitched tones. The piano and arrangement are okay (thanks, Yoshiki), but there's no feeling whatsoever in them. From what I recall, the fashion part isn't groundbreaking either (insert plenty of standard models in a catwalk with jap-inspired clothes on, that's about it). Around the reunion era they had a pretty badass-looking bassist (Mandy or Mandi, I don't remember) that got my hopes up, but we never heard any groundbreaking bass work from her either. Same goes to SKIN and every other project Yoshiki engaged in that wasn't his classical career or X.

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Offline YoshToshBGosh

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Reply #54 on: February 21, 2018, 06:26:34 PM
Around the reunion era they had a pretty badass-looking bassist (Mandy or Mandi, I don't remember) that got my hopes up, but we never heard any groundbreaking bass work from her either. Same goes to SKIN and every other project Yoshiki engaged in that wasn't his classical career or X.
"They"? Did Violet Uk ever perform live, or have a line-up? I thought it has always been a studio project,never heard about any musicians involved other than the vocalists.



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #55 on: February 22, 2018, 10:21:18 AM
Sure they did! They even performed live during the reunion concerts. There other performances here and there, with different singers, and then some of their songs were featured in a couple of B films. Nicole Schwerzinger also performed with Yoshiki with the Tokyo orchestra in the mid-2000s. Nobody seemed to care much about their 'debut', though.

I just found the bassist. Her name is Mandi Martyr, but she doesn't seem to be active in music anymore (she seems to be in Portland working as a tattoo artist and now she has a kid). One of the singers, Katie Fitzgerald, still performs with Yoshiki Classical here and there. But her Linkedin page says she's now into finance. There were other vocalists, but it sounds like it was a one-time collaboration. Sugizo was involved at some point, but nobody know exactly what he did (washing the dishes, maybe?) Yoshiki did the piano, keyboards, arrangement and pretty much everything else, except singing (and washing the dishes).  8)

« Last Edit: February 22, 2018, 10:24:19 AM by matsumoto »

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Teemeah

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Reply #56 on: February 22, 2018, 11:14:17 AM
I checked it on youtube. The live at the reunion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW-68TsZTxk

Whatever this is, IT NEEDS TO BURN.

Sorry, Yoshiki, I love you to bits and pieces but this is .... this is.... what is this?!



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #57 on: February 22, 2018, 11:53:04 AM
I seriously hadn't watched that in 10 years and I had the exact same thoughts I had 10 years ago:

> why does Sugizo have to play guitar that dramatically? Chill out a little, dude.
> why is the guest guitarist dressed like a clown?
> why didn't the vocalist even bother to brush her hair?
> what kind of headbanging speed is the keyboards girl on?
> are the weird-dance models different people or clones of the very same thin-blonde-ponytail woman?
> why is Pata the only chill guy around there?
> Appearently some people liked it, judging by the coments section. Those people are probably Yoshiki commenting through a bunch of fake YT accounts he created.

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Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #58 on: February 22, 2018, 12:01:26 PM
I feel pretty much the same way.  Maybe more. lol.  YUK.  Out the window with that shit.  I agree about Sugizo. He's done it with a violin as well but it seems to fit that instrument a lot better.  This was just plain weird.  What are all those girls there for? Show and looks? <cough> Whoever wrote all those praising comments are just as bad. lol

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline lakeisle

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Reply #59 on: February 22, 2018, 02:16:53 PM
It's my first time watching this video. (Thanks, Teemeah)

I feel a little bit different from you guys. This is better than the songs I've ever listened to. The thing that bothered me the most about VUK was that it sounds like CCM... I mean Contemporary Christian Music. I'm not an anti-Christ, but I didn't like the style which reminds me of girls who sing in church on Sunday. At least, this song doesn't remind me of CCM singers.

As for Sugizo, I felt totally different. If I was Sugizo, I would have complained, "Why Yoshiki have me do this weird performance?" "Why should I do this?"... blah blah... But he seems to be totally immersed in it. I kind of respect him. He is really professional.

I think this performance during the Dahlia Tour(1996)(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywEjiflpKUw)
and that of "city of Devils(2008)" are very similar.

And I found a great surprise. Where is Yoshiki? I can't find him on stage. I've never seen a stage where Yoshiki is not spotlighted the most. But in this video, he is not seen at all. It really surprises me.