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Yoshiki's mental health

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Offline aki

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on: February 11, 2018, 10:24:09 PM
Hi everyone!

I had no idea how to name this thread, sorry. Has anyone seen this interview? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMN0k-POsUA

I think it's really interesting. Yoshiki talks a lot about his father in this one and how he – even after his death – impacted him throughout his life. He's been pretty open about his father's suicide in several interviews but there's a part that really hit me. When asked if he sees himself as the "father" of X Japan (around 6:00) he becomes kind of emotional and says that he's still a child. The whole concept of being a father – even just figuratively as the father of his band – seems to be extremely unsettling to him. When asked whether he wants to have children of his own, he seems to be open to the idea at first but then kind of retreats the statement by saying that his songs are his children.

I know that Yoshiki's mental health has already been discussed here but this interview was a real-opener for me. Tbh, I feel bad for him. To this day he's struggling with his father's suicide. Looking at the songs he wrote, it's clear that this event has not just been a source of extreme pain but also an inspiration for a lot of his lyrics. Going through this type of trauma, especially as a child, shapes you for life but I find it heart-wrenching to see that Yoshiki seems to feel as if it all happened yesterday. Do you think there's a chance for him to overcome this (at least partially)? Or maybe he's holding on to this pain because it's an immense driver for his creativity? Growing up like this can make you believe that your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma.

If this topic is too personal/invasive, I'll delete it. Mental health and anything related to psychology is super interesting to me and Yoshiki's personality has always puzzled me so I'd like to read your thoughts on that. :)



Offline sasasama

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Reply #1 on: February 11, 2018, 11:48:12 PM
Hi everyone!

I had no idea how to name this thread, sorry. Has anyone seen this interview? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMN0k-POsUA

I think it's really interesting. Yoshiki talks a lot about his father in this one and how he – even after his death – impacted him throughout his life. He's been pretty open about his father's suicide in several interviews but there's a part that really hit me. When asked if he sees himself as the "father" of X Japan (around 6:00) he becomes kind of emotional and says that he's still a child. The whole concept of being a father – even just figuratively as the father of his band – seems to be extremely unsettling to him. When asked whether he wants to have children of his own, he seems to be open to the idea at first but then kind of retreats the statement by saying that his songs are his children.

I know that Yoshiki's mental health has already been discussed here but this interview was a real-opener for me. Tbh, I feel bad for him. To this day he's struggling with his father's suicide. Looking at the songs he wrote, it's clear that this event has not just been a source of extreme pain but also an inspiration for a lot of his lyrics. Going through this type of trauma, especially as a child, shapes you for life but I find it heart-wrenching to see that Yoshiki seems to feel as if it all happened yesterday. Do you think there's a chance for him to overcome this (at least partially)? Or maybe he's holding on to this pain because it's an immense driver for his creativity? Growing up like this can make you believe that your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma.

If this topic is too personal/invasive, I'll delete it. Mental health and anything related to psychology is super interesting to me and Yoshiki's personality has always puzzled me so I'd like to read your thoughts on that. :)

It's a really interesting topic. Actually, he said in several interviews, and also in a recent TV show, that he wants to be a father, he wants children, and he also wants to get married, and have a family just like anyone else. Everyone was really surprised in the show, and he was like: "Why are you reacting like that? Is it strange?", so he definitely has this feeling deep inside of him. But at the same time, he clearly says in We are X, that he doesn't know, what "family" is, but he considers the band and the fans as his family.

What got me the most was: "your demons are part of you and abandoning them can be just as scary, especially if your identity is built around your pain and trauma. ". It was very well said, indeed. I went through hardship in my life, and letting go of my so called "demon" was the hardest thing in my life. It's not an easy task on it's own. His indentity is literally built around it, but he made it like that!

 I know it's a topic about Yoshiki, but let's talk a little about Toshi. He was a member of a cult for 12 years, they used him to make money, they beated him up, and threatened him. For 12 years!!! I think, that's just as awful, as Yoshiki's situation. But look at Toshi now. He was able to overcome of all those years, you can see he enyojs singing more than anything now, he's interested in cooking, and making coffee, and he's doing a radio show, which was his dream since he was a child. With his own words, "he's living the best time of his life now". Toshi was able to do it. He let go. And in my opinion, he's not indentified with "brainwashing". I mean, everyone knows, of course, but people see him as Toshi, a "cinamon roll", who loves sweets, tea and coffee, has an interesting sense of fashion, and last but not least has an amazing, unique voice. :D

Yoshiki is still grabbing on his pain tightly, and he lives in the past. I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that he will be able to let go someday, and roll this heavy rock from his shoulders.

(He should spend more time with Toshi, they're best friends after all, and I think he could help him.)



Teemeah

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Reply #2 on: February 12, 2018, 08:46:19 AM
That interview is an excerpt from We Are X extras. If you have the DVD or Bluray, it's on there.

I think Yoshiki is fueled by being drenched in his own pain and sadness. That's what motivates him to go on. He also uses this as a genius marketing trick, yes, let's face it, he built an image out of the "I lost my father and then hide died" self-pity (hide's death impacted not only him... Pata was much closer to hide than Yoshiki...). A LOT of people lose their loved ones in this world, i don't think there is anyne on this planet who hasn't sufferred some kind of trauma in their lives. Some smaller, others bigger. Yes, some people are able to move on, or at least try to live a normal life, like Toshi. He decided to build himself up again. He could have also drenched himself in self pity for being a victim of physical and mental abuse (which is MUCH WORSE than what Yoshiki went through). But he decided to be strong and live a happy life. Yoshiki, to me, seems like he doesn't even want to live a normal life. He built himself around his pain and is unwilling to let it go. Probably he is afraid of losing his musical touch, as everything he has ever composed was built around his trauma.

EDIT: Of course, besides these, there are differences in people's mindsets, also we are born with different predispositions, some people have weaker nervous systems, ans there are a lot of factors involved in why some people can stand up and go on and others are not able to. Yoshiki is probably also among those who inherited a weaker nervous system.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2018, 08:54:24 AM by Teemeah »



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #3 on: February 12, 2018, 10:35:15 AM
X Freaks resident licensed shrink and part-time shit joker checking in. 8)
I don't know the guy, but I highly doubt his current mental state has its roots solely on his father's suicide. Watching him speak, it's obvious that he's got a personality dysfunction of some kind. Probably major depressive, histrionic, borderline, a combination of all of that, I don't know, but definitely cluster B. Those are personality traits that are partly inherited, partly worsened by lifestyle/life events. People with personality disorders of the B cluster are perceived as dramatic, overly emotional, attention-seeking, etc. Someone with a cluster B predisposition who loses a parent in a traumatic event as a child is highly likely to develop attachment and leadership issues: they might think of themselves as both responsible for everyone else's well-being (leader mindset) or think that they need to be protected and shielded from the world by others (child mindset). The borderline spectrum folks often oscillate between both.

It's funny that he keeps going back to how traumatic it was to lose his father, and how traumatic it was to lose his friend Hide (who btw he always describes as a motherly figure), and how he'd like a family and kids, and then no, not really, his songs are his children blablabla. The same guy who destroys a drum set like an infuriated Bruce Lee is the same guy who needs 10 assistants to follow him at all times shall he trip over his own feet!

TL;DR: Yoshiki qualifies as batshit crazy per all known DSM standards. Don't be like Yoshiki, go see a shrink.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2018, 10:38:57 AM by matsumoto »

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Teemeah

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Reply #4 on: February 12, 2018, 10:51:16 AM
I was also wondering if he is bipolar. He sometimes certainly is childish, holding stuffed animals and making cutesy faces like a little lolita (rofl), other times he appears to be strong, serious and manly. I think he is a strong leader, he manages X japan's musical stuff with a strong mindset, I think. He knows what he wants and how to get it. He's also a smart guy, I think. But at times he looses his shit and behaves like a 5 year old kindergartner that needs a good beating on his behind. :D If he really marries, that's probably gonna be for show.  Or else, he needs a wife who can handle all this, and this guy must be a handful to handle, I think. If it's a real love marriage, that lady needs to pull up her socks!



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #5 on: February 12, 2018, 11:28:03 AM
He sure is smart, people with those specific disorders are often really smart, talented and highly sensitive. Some scholers theorize that all artists have some sort of cluster disorder, otherwise they'd be just like everyone else - you need a high sensory processing sensitivity to create art, and that heightened sense of perception has to lead to some kind of mental weirdness down the road.

As for the cutesy, nah, those aren't bipolar traits at all, he's juts a little weird ;D

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Teemeah

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Reply #6 on: February 12, 2018, 11:47:28 AM
Do you think he would really be up for marriage? With his personality disorders, I can't really imagine him as a husband, or a father for that matter.



Offline sasasama

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Reply #7 on: February 12, 2018, 01:32:56 PM
Do you think he would really be up for marriage? With his personality disorders, I can't really imagine him as a husband, or a father for that matter.

Honesltly, I think he would be totally up for marriage. I'm not sure about children, but for marriage, that's something he would totally do in my opinion. If he finds the right person, who can deal with his messed up personality, and help him, and support him all the way. :) Everyone seeks love, and I think Yoshiki isn't an exception either.

EDIT: Also, if he will find/or have already found that person, I don't think, he would show her to the public. ;D I think, he would like to keep it as private, as possible.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2018, 01:56:40 PM by sasasama »



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #8 on: February 12, 2018, 01:49:27 PM
Nah, it's totally fine to marry and have kids, even if you have your upstairs cables a bit jumbled up. ;D  I have a little trouble imaging this fellow changing nappies, but hey, wouldn't that be funny?

Quote
I'm sorry I haven't finished the new album yet. I have 3 toddlers to run after.
- Yoshiki in 2030

On a serious note: personality disorders are very common and highly manageable, you just need to seek treatment instead of sitting on your sorry ass all your life.  And by no means expect your partner to fix your head for you, that's not their job. ;)

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Offline sasasama

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Reply #9 on: February 12, 2018, 01:56:02 PM
Quote
On a serious note: personality disorders are very common and highly manageable, you just need to seek treatment instead of sitting on your sorry ass all your life.  And by no means expect your partner to fix your head for you, that's not their job. ;)

Yeah, that's definitely not the partner's job, but she must have the patience of an angel. :D



Teemeah

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Reply #10 on: February 12, 2018, 02:05:04 PM
Quote
On a serious note: personality disorders are very common and highly manageable, you just need to seek treatment instead of sitting on your sorry ass all your life.  And by no means expect your partner to fix your head for you, that's not their job. ;)

Yeah, that's definitely not the partner's job, but she must have the patience of an angel. :D
Or the patience of a nurse working in a lunatic asylum  :P

Well, when I said I can't imagine him as a father, I lied a little, because I already imagined it in my fan fiction short story LOL. But imaginary Yoshiki is probably a lot less messy upstairs than real Yoshiki haha. He'd probably hand his baby over to one of his 10 assistants when the baby poops and order her to "oh change the baby please, I need to post on instagram".  ;D



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #11 on: February 12, 2018, 02:08:33 PM
Yeah, that's definitely not the partner's job, but she must have the patience of an angel. :D

OH YEAH GOD BLESS THAT WOMAN  ;D


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Offline pt_93

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Reply #12 on: February 12, 2018, 03:11:31 PM
Quote
I'm sorry I haven't finished the new album yet. I have 3 toddlers to run after.
- Yoshiki in 2030


Dammit, you just gave Yoshiki the best excuse ever. Please delet this post.




Offline aki

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Reply #13 on: February 12, 2018, 06:19:45 PM
Tbh, I can't picture him as a real father. Not unless he learns how to take proper care of himself - and I don't see that happening any time soon. His working habits seem to be a form of self-destruction that he's totally okay with. Also, he doesn't strike me as someone who could be in a healthy long-term relationship. And love certainly isn't the cure. No partner should be given the role of a therapist.

I've been wondering if he ever had some sort of psychotherapy? I know it's something that is still frowned upon in Japanese culture but then again he lives in LA where it's commonplace that everyone has their therapist. I feel like he doesn't want to get better. It's just so sad to watch. Guess I need to switch off my empathy mode.



Teemeah

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Reply #14 on: February 12, 2018, 07:53:22 PM
I think he mentioned it in an interview that after hide's death he was really desperate and went to a therapist, but he quickly quit because he felt the therapist couldn't understand him. That happens a lot of time with people like him, they don't feel like therapy gives them anything, because there you actually need to do things and strive to get better. Then again, the form of psychotherapy popular in the US with the therapist listening and analyzing you as you lie on a couch doesn't always work, I am sure Yoshiki is well aware of what his issues are even without a therapist analyzing his childhood. He would maybe fare better with cognitive therapy, if done right. That's the shit that got me out of depression. :)



Offline pt_93

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Reply #15 on: February 13, 2018, 01:34:16 AM
Yeah, I was going to say what Teemeah said about the therapist. I think he could use some therapy, maybe that therapist wasn't for him it happens to many people until they find the right one, he obviously hasn't been able to work on his problems on his own. Like sasama said, look at Toshi now, he went through a lot of shit but he probably got the help he needed and is doing better than ever.



Offline nb

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Reply #16 on: February 13, 2018, 07:42:06 AM
Do you think he would really be up for marriage? With his personality disorders, I can't really imagine him as a husband, or a father for that matter.

Maybe he will changing then. I think you are right, but since I'm a father myself, I totally changed my life. Coming from a rebellious, drug using teenager with no fear of police, dying and other authority stuff to an established computer scientist and teamleader for CAE administration.

But yeah. You are right. For now I cannot believe he will be a good husband nor father. But yeah, my parents, teacher and also the judge worried a lot about me. Now my children are teached in kung fu and piano and they are best in ther schoolclass.

I do not tell that to show up, but to show how people can change


positively unsure。


Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #17 on: February 13, 2018, 07:52:23 AM
Good for you, nb.  You turned it all around and did great!

As far as Yoshiki seeing a therapist or psychologist - I think that may depend on where he saw one.  If he sought help in Japan, no telling what Japanese therapists are like if Japanese are supposed to just deal with life and not get help or seek out relief for their struggles or pain.   If the therapist was here in the US, I am pretty sure a good one would have helped him.  If everything is as he said it was and apparently, his mother and whomever else may have been there at the time his father died, to just let his father's body lay there on the floor for the children to see was a very shocking thing for a child to see, no matter what the customs of the country may be.  That right there causes a person to be a "case" that a therapist would like to work on and with.  A good one, anyway.  My ex had some bad things happen to him and nothing anywhere as serious as Yoshiki's experience and loss.  It messed him up, bad.   :'(

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Teemeah

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Reply #18 on: February 13, 2018, 09:19:43 AM
Yeah, we don't know what kind of therapist he went to. We cannot judge the therapist based on the patient's perceptions. I have a psychologist friend who told me that patients, especially those that suffer from serious depression, often cannot accept a helping hand, and would percieve a therapist's words as an attack. There was this Kpop star, Jonghyun of Shinee, who killed himself last december. He went to therapy for depression, and in his suicide note he wrote the same thing Yoshiki said, that he felt like the therapist couldn't understand him. No matter how good a therapist is, sometimes it is just not possible to help. The human mind is not like the body, where you inject a substance and you can make it better. Sometimes it is not possible to save suicidal people, even with the best of intentions :( Thankfully, Yoshiki's much stronger than that mentally, at least with regards to suicidal thoughts.

nb, it's awesome you could change. Yes, it is difficult, and a lot of times it won't happen. My dad couldn't change even after having two kids. He didn't care. Sugizo also mentioned that having his daughter changed him completely. It's awesome if that can happen to someone. But Yoshiki is now 52, the older someone is, the harder it is to change habits and thinking.



Offline aki

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Reply #19 on: February 13, 2018, 10:53:24 AM
There was this Kpop star, Jonghyun of Shinee, who killed himself last december. He went to therapy for depression, and in his suicide note he wrote the same thing Yoshiki said, that he felt like the therapist couldn't understand him. No matter how good a therapist is, sometimes it is just not possible to help.
This is off topic but you mentioned it first. ;) Jonghyun's suicide hit me really hard. I'm struggling with depression myself and felt really triggered when it happened. I'm doing much better now but I still think about him almost every day. It's such an incredible loss. And it makes me furious that he didn't get proper help. :'(

As for Yoshiki, I hope he gets the right help if he ever decides to get better. We don't know enough to tell that he doesn't have suicidal tendencies but I think he'll just keep working and will eventually die in the process. I just hope that he's happy with whatever he decides to do. Despite all his messed up life experiences he seems to have a mental strength that keeps him going. He never gives up and I'm sure he sticks to that mindset. That's truly inspiring actually. :)



Teemeah

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Reply #20 on: February 13, 2018, 11:02:54 AM
He is inspiring. As trivial as it sounds, when I'm having a hard time in gym, because I have a very low level of pain tolerance, I always remind myslelf that Yoshiki keeps on drumming with worse pain, FOR HOURS. :) It gets me going and endure. My pain tolerance level is so low that should I ever get pregnant, I'm pretty sure I will beg for a C-section. LOL



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #21 on: February 13, 2018, 11:07:35 AM
A guy like Yoshiki is a case study with enough material for a dozen PhDs. The underlying issues are pretty common (depressive, histrionic, traumatic loss of a parent, etc.). It's the whole package that's interesting - celebrity with a highly unusual lifestyle, artistic dimension, artistic and personal identity build around the said issues, unusual thought patterns with deep roots, the fact that he doesn't need to act 'normal' in society like your regular working class folks...

No idea how therapy works in Japan. Here in Europe we're trained to do Freudian psychanalysis + cognitive-behavioral therapy. Patients are informed of what to expect and what not to expect from a therapist from session one. TL;DR: No, your therapist isn't supposed to understand you, just like your doctor isn't supposed to feel your pain. CBT is all about identifying the messed up thought patterns and replacing them by healthy ones. Dumb example: you're bored and that makes you sad. We need to work on the thought pattern that says boredom = sadness. Boredom is a neutral state of mind.

This takes a lot of work, though. Drawing the line where personality ends and pathology begins is no piece of cake. It can take years. The therapist needs to balance the right amount of empathy and the right amount of neutrality. Many patients quit it because they think their therapist is too 'cold' or trying too hard to sound like they relate to what you're saying (excess empathy). But it mostly pays off. I didn't stay on the job because YOLO I chose a different career, but there's nothing more rewarding than seeing a patient improve over time.

« Last Edit: February 13, 2018, 11:13:57 AM by matsumoto »

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Offline lakeisle

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Reply #22 on: February 14, 2018, 09:30:30 AM
I'm not a psychiatrist and have no knowledge of mental illness. I just read so many times that Japanese say Yoshiki is suffering from Münchausen syndrome.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/munchausen-syndrome#1
ㄴ about Münchausen syndrome

I think I am the only one who feels no sympathy for his trauma.



Teemeah

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Reply #23 on: February 14, 2018, 09:59:56 AM
I don't think that matches Yoshiki's illness. It's basically a syndrome where you are not ill but you constantly do as if you are. The dude HAS a lot of physical illnesses. Having your vertebrae replaced is not a phantom illness, it's a very real one. So are his issues with his hands and spine. Yoshiki has never claimed he had any mental illness. His medical history is pretty consistent, it's ailments resulting from his excessive drumming style, he is not inventing different types of illnesses unrelated to others he previously had. "Willingness or eagerness to have medical tests, operations, or other procedures", that's also not true in his case. He was always trying to avoid these as long as he could (for years on end). "Unclear symptoms that are not controllable and that become more severe or change once treatment has begun". That's also not valid for him. The way he descirbes his symptoms is pretty consistent. It's phsical pain in his neck, back and hands.

matsumoto may have a word or to about this but I'd say the Japanese are wrong about Yoshiki's mental illness. He has some kind of mental illness,but I doubt it's Münchausen syndrome. :)



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #24 on: February 14, 2018, 01:47:31 PM
I think lakeisle might not be that far off the mark. Munchausen is a form of both hypochondria and histronic disorder. People who have it are usually convinced they're chronically ill, too fragile to function or hopelessly dependent. Few will invent an actual imaginary illness, they mostly take whichever ailments they already have and blow them out of porportion. In part because that brings them some much-appreciated attention/pity/sympathy, and also because it gives them an excuse to perform less than perfectly, i.e, I can't handle this life situation because I am a sick person.

Yoshiki seems to have some issues here and there but god me damned, he's perfectly functional healthwise. Spine issues, asthma and whatever can absolutely suck, but they're not terminal cancer. They require treatment and possibly surgery, but they don't leave you crippled and dependent Stephen Hawking-style. I find it funny that he mentions it over and over that his mother didn't expect him to live to adulthood when he was a kid. His/his mom's reasoning? He was thin, he had asthma as he was often rushed to the hospital to get IVs and oxygen. Which is perfectly normal and standard procedure (I got hundreds of those as a kid with asthma). His social circle seems to play along as well - they really think the dude is gonna die on stage from pushing too hard. (Except Pata, because Pata is badass 8) )

TL;DR: Munchausen is a very plausible possibility, and it probably is/was potentiated by his mom's fears when he was a kid.
(see, to us Freudians it's always your mom's fault  ;) )


« Last Edit: February 14, 2018, 05:02:28 PM by matsumoto »

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Offline lakeisle

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Reply #25 on: February 15, 2018, 01:59:48 AM
Not only me but also anonymous Japanese in the online community do not think Yoshiki's neck surgery is fake. They(and me) just know how many times he fainted on stage and out of stage. It brings some doubts. They don't believe every fainting was real, like you guys in this forum.

Yoshiki has never claimed he had any mental illness. 

I don't know if he claimed it or not. But see "We are X". The docu is not a story about the band. It's a personal story about how Yoshiki is the hero of tragedy. Some people said they saw the movie and was healed. But my impression was something like... Don't force sadness. I just found how much he is obsessed with his own tragedy. And I am not the only person to feel that way.

As for the impact of his mother on his personality, I have no idea. From what I've read in his autobiography, his mother is different from normal mothers in my society. But I can't make a judgment about his mother and her influence on him.

I'd rather talk about the title he got after he became an adult. Watching videos in the early 90's, I found that "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)" was consistent and significant modifiers of Yoshiki. I watched so many clips and read so many interviews mentioning these.

I will quote some text from a site to explain so-called Yoshiki Aesthetics.

How nice it would be scattered like glittering shards of glass!" - With these words Yoshiki formulated his "aesthetic moment", which became a symbol of its special character, his desire to burn, without sparing himself. During his unmatched speed drumming, he has received numerous injuries, due to its commitment to excellence and the ruthless exploitation of his own physical body, he fainted during performances, because of what the concert had to stop.

https://bluebloodxfamily.weebly.com/translation-eng-art-of-life---yoshiki--tetsushi-ichikawa---chapter-1.html

The words gave me a lot of hints to understand Yoshiki. I'm sure Yoshiki really loved the words. And he has been very faithful in those words.

Here is a video that explains it well. Tamori asks about how V2 was formed and recorded songs. Yoshiki says that he has collapsed, even though he was not asked.

https://www.bilibili.com/video/av3258588/

(around 2:35 ~ ) Tamori asks if Yoshiki really collapsed and Yoshiki nods with his brightest smile. He looks like a child who boasts to Mom that he got all A at class. I couldn't understand his mentality until I discovered the words "Aesthetics of the moment" and "Aesthetics of Destruction". Why does he look happy and proud even though concerts was canceled because of him? I couldn't understand it at all at first. But after I discovered the words that describe him in Japan, I could understand him more than before.

He collapsed at concert. It means that he was very faithful in "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)". He presented his aesthetics to the maximum to the audience. That's why he is happy and proud when he talks about his fainting.

But you know what? On last Christmas, Yoshiki said,

I used to have a belief in the "aesthetic of destruction" in the past, but I have undergone a second surgery at my neck, so from now on I would like to cherish the "aesthetics of continuity".
 https://natalie.mu/music/news/262746

I was very delighted to read that. I enthusiastically support his new beliefs. He has been accustomed to old beliefs for too long, so it can be difficult to follow to his new beliefs. But I hope he accomplish it.



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #26 on: February 15, 2018, 02:09:03 AM
I agree about the possibility of Munchausens because after reading what it is like to have it, it seems to fit him pretty well.  I have a friend whose daughter has it and she was a real handful as a little child.  But maybe each child with it is different, too.

I am wondering what Yoshiki's brother is like.  I did some reading, there, too, and found he is an actor and was married not too long ago.  It would be interesting to know if they are similar in their thoughts, or not.

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Teemeah

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Reply #27 on: February 15, 2018, 07:55:18 AM
Not only me but also anonymous Japanese in the online community do not think Yoshiki's neck surgery is fake. They(and me) just know how many times he fainted on stage and out of stage. It brings some doubts. They don't believe every fainting was real, like you guys in this forum.

Yoshiki has never claimed he had any mental illness. 

I don't know if he claimed it or not. But see "We are X". The docu is not a story about the band. It's a personal story about how Yoshiki is the hero of tragedy. Some people said they saw the movie and was healed. But my impression was something like... Don't force sadness. I just found how much he is obsessed with his own tragedy. And I am not the only person to feel that way.

As for the impact of his mother on his personality, I have no idea. From what I've read in his autobiography, his mother is different from normal mothers in my society. But I can't make a judgment about his mother and her influence on him.

I'd rather talk about the title he got after he became an adult. Watching videos in the early 90's, I found that "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)" was consistent and significant modifiers of Yoshiki. I watched so many clips and read so many interviews mentioning these.

I will quote some text from a site to explain so-called Yoshiki Aesthetics.

How nice it would be scattered like glittering shards of glass!" - With these words Yoshiki formulated his "aesthetic moment", which became a symbol of its special character, his desire to burn, without sparing himself. During his unmatched speed drumming, he has received numerous injuries, due to its commitment to excellence and the ruthless exploitation of his own physical body, he fainted during performances, because of what the concert had to stop.

https://bluebloodxfamily.weebly.com/translation-eng-art-of-life---yoshiki--tetsushi-ichikawa---chapter-1.html

The words gave me a lot of hints to understand Yoshiki. I'm sure Yoshiki really loved the words. And he has been very faithful in those words.

Here is a video that explains it well. Tamori asks about how V2 was formed and recorded songs. Yoshiki says that he has collapsed, even though he was not asked.

https://www.bilibili.com/video/av3258588/

(around 2:35 ~ ) Tamori asks if Yoshiki really collapsed and Yoshiki nods with his brightest smile. He looks like a child who boasts to Mom that he got all A at class. I couldn't understand his mentality until I discovered the words "Aesthetics of the moment" and "Aesthetics of Destruction". Why does he look happy and proud even though concerts was canceled because of him? I couldn't understand it at all at first. But after I discovered the words that describe him in Japan, I could understand him more than before.

He collapsed at concert. It means that he was very faithful in "Aesthetics of the moment(瞬間の美学)" and "Aesthetics of Destruction(破滅の美学)". He presented his aesthetics to the maximum to the audience. That's why he is happy and proud when he talks about his fainting.

But you know what? On last Christmas, Yoshiki said,

I used to have a belief in the "aesthetic of destruction" in the past, but I have undergone a second surgery at my neck, so from now on I would like to cherish the "aesthetics of continuity".
 https://natalie.mu/music/news/262746

I was very delighted to read that. I enthusiastically support his new beliefs. He has been accustomed to old beliefs for too long, so it can be difficult to follow to his new beliefs. But I hope he accomplish it.

Oh wow! These are pieces of information I have never come across and I really tried to read everything that was available in English. You see this is why it is important to learn an another language. I am sure that there is so much more info out there in Japanese, than what has been translated to English so far. I always believed that you can only truly understand another culture if you speak their language. Translation just doesn't do justice to these concepts, because our Western wired minds will not be able to understand it unless you get fully immersed in the culture. I will have to learn Japanese, there are no excuses now. I want to understand these concepts fully, and that's only possible if I understand the structure of the language and the cultural annotations behind it. Thank you for the insight, gomapseumnida lakeisle-nim!



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #28 on: February 15, 2018, 01:34:15 PM
Lakeisle, we could never thank you enough for all the awesome info you brings us! That aesthetics thing was really nice to learn about.  ;)

As for his mom, we don't know much about her. Except that she agreed to hand over millions of yen to her teenage son when he wanted to debut X. I'm pretty glad she did, but stuff like that doesn't happen in, say, European society. If an 18 year old kid over here who smokes and drinks his ass off, dyes his hair weird colours, gets scolded all the time by school principals and engages in bar fights ever other day, no sane mom will give him a penny. Even if he makes some really darn nice music. (Source: I was sent to boarding school for much less and I didn't even have to tell my mom I wanted to debut a badass heavy metal band with my crazy-haired friends  8) )

That, coupled with her possibly overprotecting him and going all hypochondriac about his (very minor) health issues has resulted in a slightly dysfunctional perception of what death/suffering/going nuts really mean. His 'I almost died' formulation would equal, in normal language, 'I really worked my ass off, got damn tired and got a good few scratches'.

Woah, I can haz admin colour.


Offline Fullmetal-Hana

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Reply #29 on: February 15, 2018, 04:04:30 PM
I personally don't think he has Munchausens (I've heard that Hizaki from Versailles is a great example though). It just doesn't seem like he's faking anything, in my opinion. That being said, he is very self destructive and that does legitimately worry me. He did an interview with a UK magazine (I don't know the name, just saw an image of the interview page) and he pretty much said that he stopped taking his medication. You just…don't do that. That could seriously effect your health!

I can agree that his mom is very enabling and that may have had an effect on him too. She kinda spoiled him. I guess that's why he gets pissed when things don't go exactly the way he wants.
In all honesty, he's a bit of a brat.

Now if he really does want to start a family of his own, he's really going to have to get his butt in gear and start taking better care of himself. If you can't take care of yourself, then you aren't ready to raise a child. That's how I see it.