So, I decided to chime in and share this. I plan to continue, and I hope you'll like it, even though it might be a little cheesy at times.
BECAUSE OF YOU
Written by TeemeahDisclaimer: Everything here is purely the product of my imagination, including the characters that are based on X Japan members. The story might not be accurate as per X Japan's real history, including the members' personality traits.
Hide was sitting cross-legged at the table, a cigarette in one hand, silently watching as Yoshiki, sitting next to him on the couch, bent over a stack of scores, furiously jotting down notes, crossing them, rewriting, scrapping and starting over a hundred times, his legs restlessly moving to beats only he heard. It was not unusual for him to just get lost in the music in his head when he was scoring, and not pay attention to anything - or anyone for that matter. This was their regular studio downtown, a safe haven, and they were practicing for the upcoming Tokyo Dome gig. It was lunchbreak, and everyone already finished their meal, drinking beer or smoking, with Pata dozing off as usual. Only one person didn't eat. Again.
"Hey," Hide pouted at Yoshiki, but he didn't bother to look up. Hide stubbed out his cigarette and poked the drummer with one finger. He received Yoshiki's signature annoyed glance, followed by a graceful, if a tad arrogant flip of his hand signalling him to fuck off.
"That curry is ice cold already. Not gonna eat?"
No answer came, just the violent sound of graphite scraping on paper. Anything Yoshiki did had a sense of graceful violence to it. Hide sighed and motioned to Toshi to come over and whispered something into his ear. Toshi nodded with a grin and then Hide, fast as lightning, pulled the stack of scores from under Yoshiki's hands and shoved it into still eagerly grinning Toshi's, who turned around and ran for his dear life, long pink hair floating in the air. The screetching scream that left Yoshiki's throat shook Pata awake and Heath, reading a manga, almost choked on his beer. Yoshiki looked delicate and fragile on the outside but all of them knew that once provoked, those fragile qualities could soon turn into something rather frightening. You didn't want to mess with the leader. Unless you were as unfazed, as Hide was, that is. Pata went back to peaceful napping; if anyone could control their leader's violent outbursts, it was Hide. And just so, before Yoshiki could have launched himself after Toshi, the best runner on the team, Hide's arms were already around his waist and pushed him back onto the couch. Long, blond locks flew furiously everywhere as Yoshiki turned around shouting.
"What the fuck are you doing? I have to finish this fucking song!"
"Sure thing. You will. After you finished that bowl,", Hide pointed at the cold curry.
"Fuck you," was all he got as a reply, as Yoshiki rose to get his scores back from Toshi, who went to hide the sheets upon Hide's instructions. Hide pulled him back, gently, but with enough physical force to restrain him.
"Look, you didn't eat anything all day. And yesterday, and the day before. If you get sick right before the year-end live, what are we going to do? If you want to starve, by all means, I don't give a flying shit, but do it AFTER the fucking live. OK?"
Hide never shouted. That was always the scariest. He remained painfully calm and looked like a goddamn angel, with his red hair, beautiful face, and honey-balmed voice. And he was fucking smiling like a kindergarten nanny, pouting at Yoshiki's childish antics as he always did. Yoshiki felt like he could have strangled his lead guitarist, but at the same time, he was not stupid. The message got through, he repressed a gruntle and visibly upset, reached out for the rice bowl. With dramatic, larger-than-life movements, he picked up his chopsticks and flipping his hair behind his shoulders, he took one bite of the curry rice, and then put his bowl down.
"Nah, nah", Hide smiled like a glorified angel, lighting another cigarette. All of them were chain smokers. "All of it".
Heath smirked under his invisible moustache and kept on sipping his beer. Pata's head slipped onto his shoulder and he gently pushed his curly head back. The guitarist gave a loud snort, then curled up on the other side of the couch. Yoshiki flashed an angry I-will-kill-you glance at Hide and quickly shoved the food down. Once the last bite was over, he put the bowl down, as loudly as it was possible.
"Good boy," Hide patted his back, and it took a long, deep sigh for Yoshiki not to aim at scraping Hide's eyes out.
"I don't know what you'd do if I were not here, huh? You'd probably starve to death if I didn't feed you", Hide smiled cheekily, with an eyebrow raised and stuck his tongue out at him. Suddenly all of Yoshiki's fury was gone. He could never seriously be angry with Hide. Not when he was being cheeky.
"I hate you."
Hide smirked, "I love you too, Yo-chan."
That moment, Toshi returned with the scores, only to have Yoshiki immediately launch at him, pulling at his hair. Hide laughed out loud.
The night air was hot and humid, and the wind gently tore at the white curtains as Yoshiki awoke. 3:46 am. The red blinking numbers on his clock painfully reminded him that his insomnia was still very much incurable. For the past 40 years, since his father's death, he had been unable to sleep through even one night. He covered his face with one arm, trying to concentrate on breathing deeply, as the doctor suggested. To no avail, the night breeze had already woken him completely. He rose from the black satin bedsheets and groaned. Tonight, again, he saw Hide in his dream.
For the past few months, past memories visited him every single time he managed to fall asleep, usually centered around Hide. What kind of message is his dead friend trying to convey to him through these images? He desperately tried to understand, to grasp the meaning behind these fiction infused memories. Hide often forced him to eat, when he was concentrating on work, it was like he fell under a spell, forgetting about earthly things like food. And Hide always took care of everyone, like a good mother. But that scene, where Hide took his notes and Toshi ran away with them, never happened. The other day he was standing at Hide's grave in his dream. It was raining really hard, washing away flowers placed on the tombstone, and Hide's photo, standing in the middle, flipped over, the sky darkened, the wind started screaming in his ears and he fell into darkness. That night he woke drenched in sweat. Just the day before, he dreamt of a little boy cheerfully riding a swing, it was a sunny day, with bright sunrays seeping through cherry blossom branches, and Hide was standing a few feet away, leaning against the cherry tree, smiling beautifully, happily watching the child. What is all this? Why now?
After Hide died, for years, he had frightening nightmares and it took him several psyhologists and quite a bit of medication to finally stop those dreams and subdue the urge of following Hide. Why now? Nothing happened in his life that would justify these dreams, psychologically. X Japan was touring, the new album was out and successful, he had several projects going, he was living well. Lonely, as ever, but that was nothing new. He'd been lonely since the moment he was born. He got used to it.
Why was Hide visiting his dreams every night now?