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Hide: 50th Anniversary: Junk Story Documentary

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Offline sasasama

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Reply #30 on: March 02, 2018, 09:01:06 AM
Oh, btw I think it's not true Toshi is not open about his brainwashing story. I don't know if you saw that, it's on youtube, but he did a conference about it, he answered every single question in detail, and he was really open. He also said, he wants to share, and he's prepared for any question. He even had an English interpreter. If you haven't seen that, I recommend you to watch!



Offline helenmoon

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Reply #31 on: March 02, 2018, 09:01:31 AM
Teemeah, the interview is recorded... you can listen to it...

As far as the relationship with Toshi is concerned certainly your point of view could be correct, it could be a kind of japanese privacy... I admit that I really don't know... I'm just trying to enter japanese world and sometimes it's not easy...  :P
« Last Edit: March 02, 2018, 09:09:33 AM by helenmoon »

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Teemeah

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Reply #32 on: March 02, 2018, 10:33:16 AM
Oh, btw I think it's not true Toshi is not open about his brainwashing story. I don't know if you saw that, it's on youtube, but he did a conference about it, he answered every single question in detail, and he was really open. He also said, he wants to share, and he's prepared for any question. He even had an English interpreter. If you haven't seen that, I recommend you to watch!

Yes after he wrote the book in 2014, he became publically open about it. But we are talking 2007-2010 X reunion, when he and Yoshiki didn't even talk about these things at all. We Are X director Kijak mentions this in an interview, that the scene where Toshi talks about his brainwashing with Yoshiki sitting at the piano -- that was actually the first time they talked about it! 2014!



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #33 on: March 02, 2018, 11:08:06 AM
Unpopular opinion: I think it's pretty obvious that Hide's death was a suicide. And it's safe to say Yoshiki probably thinks so too, but imagine the implications of being frank about it in public. His whole message in recent years is all about X Japan and himself being the by-product of mean external factors and unfortunate accidents. That's probably his way of spreading a positive, marketable message. In truth, stuff is not that simple. Take away the flavoring and the sweeteners, the story of X is not that of a bunch of defenseless victims who occasionally fell victim to malicious cult members, vicious spine hernias and homicidal doorknobs. I guess it's more like the story of a bunch of regular people who did a really cool thing at the right place, at the right time, and who thus got catapulted into a superstar status thet manifestly weren't ready for (if anyone ever is). Each then met a breaking point that was more or less fortunate - and for Hide it was extremely unfortunate.

We knew very little about all of this 10 or 15 years ago, but the whole documentary/biography/tribute song/Q&A frenzy in recent years has helped sharpen the picture/ Yoshiki has also dropped the veil on what his relationship with the rest of his band was like. He was imposing, dominating, didn't sound like he listened to the others much and had unrealistically high expectations (think of the whole overseas breakthrough craze in the early 90s). On the other hand, he expected others to be accepting when it came to his own fragility and health limitations. The other guys retorted by pushing him into a full leadership position and kind of stopped caring. Toshi's cult-joining fiasco was the last straw, but it was rather unavoidable. As for Hide, he had been dropping one red flag after another since the late 80s, with his alcoholism, apparent eating disorders, body image issues, violent outbursts, painful perfectionism, ambiguous statements in interviews and whatnot. He wasn't in a position where he could be open about it (plus he was the peak of his career and people looked up to him like a god), so his personality became more and more double-sided. Add in some alcohol and you get a ticking time bomb. But I do think Yoshiki & Co. did the right thing by not being overly open about it and adopting the 'accident' theory' - shedding too much light on it would give the while situation a sense of inevitability. Kind of like saying 'see guys? life can really be unbearable and even your dear, invincible idol fell prey to it'.



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Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #34 on: March 02, 2018, 11:58:29 AM
Now I am really confused.  Do all of you think hide did take his own life on purpose or do you think it's a mistranslation from Yoshiki or something else?

In the We Are X film, Yoshiki said that he uses the same method of using a towel and door knob to relieve stress in his neck, too.  He made it sound like that was something many people did or at the very least, he and hide did.  So that sounded correct to say no, he did not do it on purpose.  And, really, people don't commit suicide sitting on the floor with a door nob a few feet from their head, do they? That seems off the wall or unbelievable to me.

As wild and crazy were hide's thoughts, he also seemed to be very down to earth and very determined to reach his goals with his music and was doing just that, exactly.  He was putting on so many big concerts with so much merchandise and recordings.  He was living the dream he wanted.   

Please tell me your thoughts, everyone. 

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #35 on: March 02, 2018, 12:05:03 PM
Unpopular opinion: I think it's pretty obvious that Hide's death was a suicide. And it's safe to say Yoshiki probably thinks so too, but imagine the implications of being frank about it in public. His whole message in recent years is all about X Japan and himself being the by-product of mean external factors and unfortunate accidents. That's probably his way of spreading a positive, marketable message. In truth, stuff is not that simple. Take away the flavoring and the sweeteners, the story of X is not that of a bunch of defenseless victims who occasionally fell victim to malicious cult members, vicious spine hernias and homicidal doorknobs. I guess it's more like the story of a bunch of regular people who did a really cool thing at the right place, at the right time, and who thus got catapulted into a superstar status thet manifestly weren't ready for (if anyone ever is). Each then met a breaking point that was more or less fortunate - and for Hide it was extremely unfortunate.

We knew very little about all of this 10 or 15 years ago, but the whole documentary/biography/tribute song/Q&A frenzy in recent years has helped sharpen the picture/ Yoshiki has also dropped the veil on what his relationship with the rest of his band was like. He was imposing, dominating, didn't sound like he listened to the others much and had unrealistically high expectations (think of the whole overseas breakthrough craze in the early 90s). On the other hand, he expected others to be accepting when it came to his own fragility and health limitations. The other guys retorted by pushing him into a full leadership position and kind of stopped caring. Toshi's cult-joining fiasco was the last straw, but it was rather unavoidable. As for Hide, he had been dropping one red flag after another since the late 80s, with his alcoholism, apparent eating disorders, body image issues, violent outbursts, painful perfectionism, ambiguous statements in interviews and whatnot. He wasn't in a position where he could be open about it (plus he was the peak of his career and people looked up to him like a god), so his personality became more and more double-sided. Add in some alcohol and you get a ticking time bomb. But I do think Yoshiki & Co. did the right thing by not being overly open about it and adopting the 'accident' theory' - shedding too much light on it would give the while situation a sense of inevitability. Kind of like saying 'see guys? life can really be unbearable and even your dear, invincible idol fell prey to it'.

Oh matsumoto, your post came through before mine.  We must have been writing at the same time.   I fear you could be right.  I don't want to believe it but as you say, the signs were all there.

I agree about the way Yoshiki responds, too.  I always notice there is some slight hesitation before he responds or hesitation in between words, maybe.

Then there is Hiroshi.  Hiroshi never did say yes or no, did he? I believe the only thing he has said that I can think of is that he couldn't or didn't want to talk about it.  If it wasn't true, he would come right out and say so, I think.  I am pretty sure that is what he would do. 

Oh poor hide.  :'(  :'(  :'(

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline helenmoon

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Reply #36 on: March 02, 2018, 12:44:36 PM
Matsumoto, I agree with almost everything you said... The only thing I would point out is this: they were not "a bunch of regular people" especially Yoshiki and hide, but, somehow, also the others.

LEMONedMe, I don't know what to think... I only listened to the interview and to Yoshiki's worlds... but I've been thinking till know that hide showed a very self-destructive behaviuor which - like it or not - could lead him to risk his own life... If you are in an alchool intoxication and hang yourself to the doorknob - even if it's just to stretch you neck - you are absolutely aware that you could fall in an alchol-induced-coma and not be able to breathe any more... perhaps you are not meant to take off your life intentionally... but you also are not doing anything to avoid it practically...
But this doesn't anyhow belittle his personality to my eyes... precisely because he was not - like Yoshiki is not - a regular guy... the way he was burnt by his own fire doesn't explain nor estinguish the fire itself...

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Offline matsumoto

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Reply #37 on: March 02, 2018, 01:54:38 PM
Well, we can only speculate, really. I agree that committing suicide by hanging yourself on a doorknob is a pretty dumb way to do it, but hey, I've seen people do dumber things (including a guy who hanged himself on a coat rack that was barely 5 feet off the floor - he just hooked his belt to it and around his neck, managed to hang himself by bending his knees and breaking his neck with his body weight). It's also not uncommon for suicidal individuals to 'practice' for the real thing before they actually take the leap and do it for good: slitting one's wrists horizontally, taking *not quite enough* sleeping pills, seeing how far they can lean into the void without falling, tying a hangman's knot to see what it feels like around their neck, etc, etc. My best guess is that he was too drunk to fully understand how tragic the outcome could be, but drunk enough to get over the fear and take the leap. The awkward modus operandi could very well be the result of that: a semi-serious attempt that worked out unexpectedly well.
But again, that's just guessing.

they were not "a bunch of regular people"

What I mean is that these guys seem to come from a pretty standard, working class background. They didn't come from rich/powerful/influent families and were barely in their early 20s when they were already selling out the Tokyo Dome. One second you're in your room hanging up posters of Gene Simmons and begging your mum for a guitar, the next you're so famous you can't go out without being smothered by a kazillion fans who dress like you, act like you, talk like you and proudly declare that you're their reason to live.  8) Under pressure, much!

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Offline helenmoon

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Reply #38 on: March 02, 2018, 02:19:46 PM
"kazillion fans who dress like you, act like you, talk like you and proudly declare that you're their reason to live.  8) Under pressure, much!"

yeahh... yeah... fully agree with this  :P

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Teemeah

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Reply #39 on: March 02, 2018, 02:41:16 PM
Matsumoto, I agree with almost everything you said... The only thing I would point out is this: they were not "a bunch of regular people" especially Yoshiki and hide, but, somehow, also the others.

LEMONedMe, I don't know what to think... I only listened to the interview and to Yoshiki's worlds... but I've been thinking till know that hide showed a very self-destructive behaviuor which - like it or not - could lead him to risk his own life... If you are in an alchool intoxication and hang yourself to the doorknob - even if it's just to stretch you neck - you are absolutely aware that you could fall in an alchol-induced-coma and not be able to breathe any more... perhaps you are not meant to take off your life intentionally... but you also are not doing anything to avoid it practically...
But this doesn't anyhow belittle his personality to my eyes... precisely because he was not - like Yoshiki is not - a regular guy... the way he was burnt by his own fire doesn't explain nor estinguish the fire itself...

If you are drunk as sh*t you are absolutely not aware that your actions might end up killing you. In an intoxicated state who thinks about "hey this stretching movement is dangerous now because I'm drunk, let's not do it" LOL



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #40 on: March 02, 2018, 03:36:00 PM
Definitely true, but there's two unanswered questions here that bug me.
One, who the hell decides to do a complicated yoga stretching thing that involves towels and doorknobs when drunk off their ass? A drunk dude with a sore back is a lot more likely to crash in his bed and call it a day and/or pop a painkiller. Not sure what about you, but when I'm drunk, just the thought of taking my shoes off is enough to make me think it's a good idea to sleep with them on.
Two, his brother insists he wasn't that drunk. At least, he was able to walk without stumbling, sticking a key in a door, changing from day clothes into night clothes, deciding that his back hurt enough to do a stretching thing, tying a towel in a funny knot, etc.

This is a case for Inspector Gadget, y'all, let the conspiracy theories begin.  8)

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Offline helenmoon

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Reply #41 on: March 02, 2018, 05:19:55 PM
"If you are drunk as sh*t you are absolutely not aware that your actions might end up killing you"

A person who usually gets drunk knows perfectly he's throwing himself in such a situation where he could be absolutely not aware that his action can be possibly dangerous... he knows the risks implied in being completely drunk... he knows he can do dangerous things... During an interview not much time before dying hide himself told he used to drive completely drunk and broke his bones more than once... he knew he was absolutely reckelss... didn't do much to avoid it...

matsumoto, I agree... it's almost impossible to imagine what really happened in his mind, how and why...
« Last Edit: March 02, 2018, 05:23:04 PM by helenmoon »

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Offline lakeisle

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Reply #42 on: March 02, 2018, 07:12:09 PM
lakeisle, Junk Story was released in 2015. But We Are X was shot in 2014.

Teemeah,

We Are X was shot from 2014 to 2015. The scene of Yoshiki's visiting his school was shot in summer of 2015. That's after the "Junk Story" was released.

There is a planning stage in the film production. It is unlikely that Yoshiki would have not known about "Junk Story" at the planning stage. Yoshiki directly appeared in the movie and would have been contacted before appearing.


"We Are X" was made under the influence of "Junk Story" => It's my delusion.
Making "Junk Story" began earlier than making "We Are X" => It's a fact



Offline lakeisle

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Reply #43 on: March 03, 2018, 04:37:19 AM
(34:30~the end) 

caption : DICE

Hide : [♪DICE] Everything in front of me looks like monsters. The weight of the time and the specter of the past chase me. I'm being swept away and swallowed by rotting and blowing. The pipe of  consciousness is cut off in a cross shape. Let the flowers bloom as you think. Before it is torn up and wilted. Someday the bud becomes a flower. I'll tell you who are vomiting the ideal♪


I.N.A : The recording of X was over while we were preparing for a live performance. Hide decided to stay with X and I came back to our rehearsing room. There were only people I saw for the first time. Hide said, “Do something with them until I get back”. So I tried to practice with them.

CHIROLYN : But we’ve all just met and shook hands. People came into the rehearsing room one by one asking “Is this the studio?” I.N.A was sitting here, me and D.I.E were sitting there. Then I.N.A said, “Chirolyn, play 16 bars by slapping” as if he were a teacher. I thought “What the hell is that guy?”

I.N.A : After that, Hide came back and listened to what we were doing. He was very angry. “What’s this? You’ve done nothing until now.”

PATA : Most members didn’t memorize the songs. (laugh) Of course, I was one of them. (laugh) When I was told “Next song is... ”, then I wore headphones and copied it in secret.

I.N.A : (laugh) “Pata, you didn’t practice at all” (laugh)

CHIROLYN : He got drunk and released his stress out. The fight started with “Why is your hair red?”. We seized each other’s collar and caused a disturbance. I think that Hide was a person who was clumsy in human relationships. After fighting, I felt more comfortable with him. Maybe because I felt in my heart that I wanted to forgive him. So... (thinking) (with his arms folded) When I think about it again now, I wonder if I was deceived by him.

JOE : When we were rehearsing for the first time together, Hide said, “I’m sorry. I like rehearsals”.

PATA : He was worried when we were rehearsing. I asked him “Do we have to do so much rehearsal?”.

KYO : At that time, Tetsu asked me, “Have you heard Hide’s solo songs?”. I answered “Not yet”, and he said “The songs are very Hide”.   

Hide : [♪DICE] When I stretch out my hand, it drifts away. A reward of vanity, wasted and released libido. The meaning of existence at the end of long suffering. Me, in the mirror crying to let him know. Let me water the dried flower of yours, if the flower doesn’t die. Will the flower bloom or rot? Dice with only two results. Let the flower bloom as you think, before it is torn up and wilted. Someday the bud becomes a flower. I'll tell you who is spitting yesterday. Once and for all(x3), dice away, dice away ♪

narrator : HIDE as a member of X Japan, and hide as a solo singer.

I.N.A : X members decided they would do solo activities, and then the recording company said, “If you do, your albums will sell well”. Hide was offended by that words. “Mine sell well? No matter what I do? What does it mean? That’s not music. I don’t want to do those things.” He had such a conflict.

caption : DOUBT

HIDE : [♪DOUBT] Unfold the trick in your hand. Seeds in oil which smell bad enough to be expressed. If it sprouts, it will be your wonderful dinner. The remaining food is scattered and rolling here and there. Take me trash! ♪

narrator : At that time, he became aware of himself who had got caught up in commercialism. ‘What am I doing?’. “DOUBT” was born in anger of himself. Hide swore to keep singing “DOUBT” so that he would not forget his mind of that moment.

HIDE : Hey gentlemen! Is the water there so sweet? Gentleman, try some musty diamonds. Doubt, doubt, doubt you. Flesh are cut and bones are broken. Doubt, doubt, doubt you. Tuning of rabies singer. Doubt, doubt, doubt you. Flesh are cut and bones are broken. Doubt, doubt, doubt you. Don’t you realize that you are surrounded by enemies?

caption : TELL ME

I.N.A : During the live performance, he realized that he was singing and talking to himself in childhood.


==========================================

The clip Teemeah linked is not the first half. It's one-third. The entire length is 125 minutes. Do you need translations for the rest?





Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #44 on: March 03, 2018, 06:00:56 AM
Jumping in here with a few other things.  According to a writer who wrote about hide's death, he says Hiroshi told that hide acted "strange" when he brought him home the night he died.  Then hide asked Hiroshi "What do you think?" and Hiroshi responded, "What do you mean?" to which hide responded, "Not you, too Hiroshi!"   Hiroshi must have sat there for a while outside, because the writer claims Hiroshi said he could hear things being kicked and that hide was angry. 

If I am not mistaken, in Hiroshi's book, he mentioned that hide's band mates had been "harassing??" hide and told him that he couldn't get anywhere without Yoshiki or he was no one without Yoshiki - something to that effect.   That was before Hiroshi brought hide home so I am wondering, was that what hide was thinking about when he asked Hiroshi, what he thought?

Link to that is here http://www.xjapantranslations.com/information-regarding-hides-death

Then there is a review of a book published by Hiroshi but it is called something else, perhaps? Link to that, here.  She was a lovely girl and she claims hide saved her life as she was going to end it all.   I wish these things were in English!!!

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1845501542?book_show_action=true&from_review_page=1

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline helenmoon

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Reply #45 on: March 03, 2018, 06:56:50 AM
Do you need translations for the rest?

lakeisle thank you, I would like so much to read more.... it's a great job, but do what you can and - of course - only if you feel like...

"CHIROLYN : He got drunk and released his stress out. The fight started with “Why is your hair red?”. We seized each other’s collar and caused a disturbance."

ehehe what a temper  :P :D

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Teemeah

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Reply #46 on: March 03, 2018, 08:29:40 AM
I can't find the rest of the film on Youtube. :(

------
To me it seems like hide must have been a difficult person to work with and live with. The more I read these translations, the more it seems to me that had I known him I would have probably not liked his personality. Projecting so much anger, being drunk most of the time, and doing violent things. I wonder if his god-like status came because he died. And because most contemporary fans got to know him after his death. I wonder if he would be such a divisive personality as Yoshiki is now, half of the fandom hating him, and half of the fandom loving him. He looks like someone who had high standards in the studio, just like Yoshiki. Maybe that's why they got along so well. And it makes me appreciate the other members even more, because boy, being around and working with two perfectionalists must have been hell to endure during practice and studio sessions.



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #47 on: March 03, 2018, 08:45:45 AM
In 2 places, today, I have read that hide was bipolar.  Both places the words were written by Hiroshi.  I don't know why he would be dishonest about that.  But if it's true, whrew! That seems to fit his behaviors.  Over-extravagant, taking wild chances,  doing dangerous things, going out of control, fighting, going into rages and tearing up the place (wherever he was at the time) then becoming depressed.  Fits to a T !  :'(

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Teemeah

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Reply #48 on: March 03, 2018, 08:53:25 AM
I doubt he was ever diagnosed so I would be careful with such assumptions, even if his brother is assuming that. Psychiatry/psychology is not really something that is viewed favorably in Japanese society, especially not in the 80s and 90s. I highly doubt hide ever went to a psychologist and got diagnosed with anything. And as a layperson, it is dangerous to "diagnose" others based on symptoms.



Offline LEMONedMe

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Reply #49 on: March 03, 2018, 09:44:48 AM
He certainly fits the definition. 

Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost out dreams along the way
But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone


Offline helenmoon

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Reply #50 on: March 03, 2018, 10:11:43 AM
yes it fits... I couldn't believe it when at first I knew Yoshiki was surprised by hide's death... even Sugizo in the film says "he was running toward death"...

Despite Yoshiki's outbursts and constant depressive situation of those times, I think hide was probably the most vulnerable guy...
In the film he said he joined X Japan not so much because he was interested in their music, but more because he was psyched by the experience with Yoshiki and that for him X Japan was not a conceipt depending on band's duration...
This could mean that while Yoshiki put up a band to express himself and to play his music (which was somehow a "sane" thing despite his violent mood swings), hide was doing something not only because he wanted to play (which he wanted a lot) but for reasons regarding relationships, which probably made him less strong... even if he was doing very good music also by himself...


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Offline matsumoto

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Reply #51 on: March 05, 2018, 01:13:26 PM
We sure can't diagnose a guy we never met, who died 20 years ago and who lived a world away... plus, over the internet. 8) Diagnosing bipolar is difficult, even when the patient is right in front of you. He sounds like he could very much have it, but bipolar is comorbid with plenty of other things - we would need to know not only what he was like, but also what he wasn't like IRL. And what he had to say about it himself, which we'll never know. It's safe to say he sure was a bit messed up in the head, though, the poor thing.

To me it seems like hide must have been a difficult person to work with and live with. The more I read these translations, the more it seems to me that had I known him I would have probably not liked his personality. Projecting so much anger, being drunk most of the time, and doing violent things. I wonder if his god-like status came because he died. And because most contemporary fans got to know him after his death..

Yup, would probably have punched that crazy-haired brat in the face if we'd crossed paths. :P Agree with you, most fans who claim to love the guy (or any other idol per se) mostly only know and love a very specific side of them - and a good part of it is a projection of what we wish people were like. Admiration is very much like selective-amnesia, I reckon.

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Offline lakeisle

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Reply #52 on: March 05, 2018, 05:43:07 PM
I've listened to the Russian interview helenmoon linked. I may be wrong, but, to me, it sounds like "I've lost my father when I was young. He took his own life. There was only classical piano before that. After my father's death, I played drums from the rock band called X Japan. Then we became pretty big in Japan. But at the same time we lost bass player took his own life, also the vocalist got brainwashed and joined cult"

To me, it sounds like "bass player" not "the best player".


Moreover, I don't think Yoshiki was in a relaxing situation. What he said in the interview is what he had said so many times before. Sometimes we can see Yoshiki is relaxed especially when he is with his close friends and when he speaks in Japanese. That situation doesn't seem to be the case. Even if he pronounced "the best player" it would be the mistake. He often makes mistakes even when he speaks in Japanese, which may be his most proficient language. In this situation, there may have been confusion because he just mentioned his father's suicide. But this is just my opinion. 


He has claimed that Hide's death was an accident right after Hide's death. I don't think he claimed hide's death was an accident in preparation for his business 20 years from then.

http://www2s.biglobe.ne.jp/~reiko/database/text/db19980502hidedeath.html

As for the relationship between Yoshiki and Hide, I stumbled across this radio show(1998).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJYgUBeVhv8

It's taken right after Hide's funeral. Yoshiki says that Hide and he used to talk over three hours on the phone about music, family, women and everything. He says Hide's family and his family were close and they all traveled together to Hawaii while hide was alive. Yoshiki says that Hide's parents are so sweet. They suggested Yoshiki to stay close like family and go for drinks together in the future even though Hide's passed away. This radio show has changed the way I used to think about them.

I think it's very dangerous to assume that hide had mental problems and killed himself because he drank and fought a lot.

In my country, there is a boy band called Shinhwa. They made their debut in 1998 and still working without replacement of members or disbandment. They are the longest-lasting boy band. They are often asked "What's the secret to being so long?" Then they always answer, "We fought a lot when we were young. We tell each other if we have complaints"

If a person who didn't fight, didn't drink and kept the rules and the order committed suicide, people will say that's why he killed himself. Once, someone told me that "A person who doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink coffee is a psychopath". I asked why. And then she said, "Because Hitler was such a man". What? How silly! It's very silly to judge people with such superficiality, isn't it?

Please forgive my comment for being so messy. I wish I could write in English better.



Offline helenmoon

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Reply #53 on: March 05, 2018, 07:24:11 PM
I've listened to the Russian interview helenmoon linked. I may be wrong, but, to me, it sounds like "I've lost my father when I was young. He took his own life. There was only classical piano before that. After my father's death, I played drums from the rock band called X Japan. Then we became pretty big in Japan. But at the same time we lost bass player took his own life, also the vocalist got brainwashed and joined cult"

To me, it sounds like "bass player" not "the best player".

Perhaps you're right, who knows? It's just that when you say:
"Then we become pretty big in Japan"

and then you say:
"But at the same time we lost our ...?... player took his own life. Also the vocalist got brainwashed and joined a cult"

it seems like these facts happened in the same period and that they were both the unlucky circumstances which caused the interruption of X Japan's activities. Taiji died many years later, and he was not a member of X Japan any more, he had been fired... and why should Yoshiki avoid mentioning hide's death, which was so important for him and for the band?

Moreover, I don't think Yoshiki was in a relaxing situation.

It's only my perception and naturally opinions are questionable...

Of course I don't know what really happened to hide, and I don't assume that he took his life because of his self-destructive behaviours, but it could well be, even if the scenario of him doing something wrong only to strech his neck without any voluntarily thought - nor caution - it's quite possible.

Besides I think there is a huge difference between having one drink once a week to take the edge off and getting drunk every single day. The first can help you, the second can kill you and is undoubtedly a signal of great psychological discomfort.

Finally... I can understand your English without any problem...

Your scars are beautiful


Offline matsumoto

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Reply #54 on: March 05, 2018, 08:42:15 PM
The interview contains very intersting moments and Yoshiki seems to be particularly trustful both of the interviewer and of the russian context...

It's called vodka, guys.  8)

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Teemeah

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Reply #55 on: March 05, 2018, 10:15:33 PM
I've listened to the Russian interview helenmoon linked. I may be wrong, but, to me, it sounds like "I've lost my father when I was young. He took his own life. There was only classical piano before that. After my father's death, I played drums from the rock band called X Japan. Then we became pretty big in Japan. But at the same time we lost bass player took his own life, also the vocalist got brainwashed and joined cult"

To me, it sounds like "bass player" not "the best player".

Perhaps you're right, who knows? It's just that when you say:
"Then we become pretty big in Japan"

and then you say:
"But at the same time we lost our ...?... player took his own life. Also the vocalist got brainwashed and joined a cult"

it seems like these facts happened in the same period and that they were both the unlucky circumstances which caused the interruption of X Japan's activities. Taiji died many years later, and he was not a member of X Japan any more, he had been fired... and why should Yoshiki avoid mentioning hide's death, which was so important for him and for the band?

Moreover, I don't think Yoshiki was in a relaxing situation.

It's only my perception and naturally opinions are questionable...

Of course I don't know what really happened to hide, and I don't assume that he took his life because of his self-destructive behaviours, but it could well be, even if the scenario of him doing something wrong only to strech his neck without any voluntarily thought - nor caution - it's quite possible.

Besides I think there is a huge difference between having one drink once a week to take the edge off and getting drunk every single day. The first can help you, the second can kill you and is undoubtedly a signal of great psychological discomfort.

Finally... I can understand your English without any problem...

People don't always talk linearly in timeline when they talk. especially that English is not Yoshiki's first language. Thoughts jump, they even jump when you speak your native tongue. You don't necessarily tell everything in the very same order all the time, do you? He was listing facts, but that doesn't mean he necessarily has to list them in timely order. :)



Offline lakeisle

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Reply #56 on: March 05, 2018, 10:22:50 PM

It's just that when you say:
"Then we become pretty big in Japan"

and then you say:
"But at the same time we lost our ...?... player took his own life. Also the vocalist got brainwashed and joined a cult"

it seems like these facts happened in the same period and that they were both the unlucky circumstances which caused the interruption of X Japan's activities. Taiji died many years later, and he was not a member of X Japan any more, he had been fired... and why should Yoshiki avoid mentioning hide's death, which was so important for him and for the band?


You're right. It's weird chronologically, if the sentence was "...but at that same time we lost our bass player took his own life and the vocalist got brainwashed...". Because Taiji was fired long before the disbandment and died many years later and Hide's death was a way more critical accident in the band's history.

However, in the interview, Yoshiki explained about harakiri during the Second World War which is the tradition of samurai. If the theme of the Russian interview was "Yoshiki is against suicide", I think he might have mentioned Taiji's death. I'm not sure.

helenmoon, I forgot to say thank you for the link to the Russian interview. I read it through the chrome translator. It's very interesting. Especially the question about Yoshiki's ancestors. I didn't know that he's interested in his ancestors.  ;D

As for English, I think English speakers will excuse my grammatical mistakes. But I'm worried that I'll look aggressive. That's not what I intended.



Offline matsumoto

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Reply #57 on: March 06, 2018, 08:56:07 AM
As for English, I think English speakers will excuse my grammatical mistakes. But I'm worried that I'll look aggressive. That's not what I intended.

Your English is perfect and you don't make any mistakes. You're our lovely Japanese-translating cinnamon roll and X Freaks loves you!

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Offline lakeisle

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Reply #58 on: March 07, 2018, 12:41:12 PM
(41:30~52:14)

I.N.A(?) : I felt it during the live performance. This guy has been wanting to do something like this.

Hide : [♪TELL ME] Even if I am exposed to the shiny wind. I’m gazing at me that can not be melt. Not even showing the way I walk, the outline becomes clear. The body dancing in illusion is the pantomime, which is the opposite of my mind. The reason to fill up wounds with something is only for me to be myself. Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me. Even with voiceless words. Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me. Your voice has not arrived yet. Even if I look for distorted love, there is no answer, there is no meaning. I’m just greedy. My own voice is being swept away. I can’t hear it until it becomes ashes. Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me. Who is covering my eyes? Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me. My eyes are looking at you. ♪

narrator : “I’ve never sang a song about the society. I’ve been singing songs only about my personal story. The theme of this album is ‘initial impulse’. The first listener was myself in childhood. So it’s a very private album.”



caption : “あの時の君から離れなければ, その答えは見つからないと思っていた”
“If you do not get away from you of those days, you will not find the answer”

narrator : Hide, who has thought that he would not find answers unless he gets away from his childhood. At the age of 29, however, he wrote to himself in childhood :

caption :
<時空を越えてもう一人の自分に>

前略 少年 松本秀人様

実はアルバムを作ったんだ。テーマは初期衝動。
でもね、出来上がって思ったんだ。
もしかしたらこのアルバムは
君に聴いてもらいたくて作ったんじゃないかって。
君がガラっと変わった瞬間のこと覚えてるかい?
そう、君が初めてあいつらに、
ロックに出逢ったときのことだよ。
僕は今でもあのとき君が感じたワクワクと
今僕が感じているワクワクとは同じだと思ってるんだ。
このアルバムはそれを確認するために
作ったような気がするんだよ。
僕はどうしても知りたいんだ。
なぜ僕たちがあんなにワクワクしたのかを。
君と別れてからこの十何年間
僕はその答えを探す旅をしていた
といっても過言ではないな。
これまでは君から離れなければ
その答えは見つからないと思っていたんだけど
今ではその答えは君と一緒に過ごした
あの頃にしかないような気がするんだ。
だから今回の旅は君と離れていた十何年間を遡る旅だったんだ。
そんな旅の中で見つけたワクワクを
もし君が同じだと言ってくれたとしたら
まだまだ終わりそうにないこの旅を
これからも続けられそうな気がするんだ。
- hide

<To Another Myself, Beyond the Space and Time>

To. the boy, Hideto Matsumoto

Actually I made an album. The theme is “Initial Impulse”.
I think I made it well.
Probably, this album was created for you.
Do you remember the moment you suddenly changed?
Yeah, I’m talking about the moment when you first met rock music. 
I think that you felt in those days and that I feel today is the same.
This album was made to confirm it.
I really wonder.
Why were we so excited?
It’s no exaggeration to say that I have been traveling over a decade to find the answer since I broke up with you.
If I break up with you like this again,
I don’t think I can find the answer.
Thinking about it now, the answer seems to have existed only at the moment when I was with you.
So I’m going backwards for decades when I was being separated from you.
If you tell me that you have the same feeling I found on this journey,
I think I’ll be able to keep going on this journey that I can’t see the end yet.

- hide



narrator : One of the staff said : “When the live performance was over, I was often called to the rooftop of the hotel by hide. On the rooftop, hide used to look at the distant landscape without any special words. His breathing back was impressive”.

Hide : Thank you. Thank you for staff’s efforts. Thank gods of rock! (waving arms) Good bye!



caption : 酒 sake (alcohol)

Hide : Once I start drinking, I drink a lot.

Hide : No more!

PATA : When I first met him, he just drank beer at best.

HIDE : I blacked out when I’ve drunk the most. Maybe I drank two bottles of sake.

HIDE : Finally!

kiyoshi : He threw a cigarette lighter into a driving taxi. Boom! So the taxi stopped making a noise. We shouted “No, no, no, no, no, no!” (laugh)

JOE : He got drunk again in Sapporo. He was hitting the door of the hotel room making a noise.

I.N.A : That was my room. (laugh)

JOE : I barely avoided the signboard that Hide was wielding. (laugh)

I.N.A : I didn’t go out of the room because Hide seemed to be completely drunk. I looked out through the door view and he was rioting. He suddenly picked up a fire extinguisher and hit the door of my room. bang! bang! I was really scared. Eventually the hinge was broken. So I blocked the door from the inside. After a while, he went back to his room. This is what I heard later, but they said that Hide threw many things at the window. (laugh)

I.N.A : Later, Pata told me. If that happens again, I don’t need to hesitate to open the door. Hide will just look around the room and will go back. (laugh)

KYO : I said “If you are going to go on the rampage here, go back”. Then he didn’t go on the rampage. He never acted violently when he was with me.

Tetsu : I saw his rampage a lot.

KYO : (laugh)
 
I.N.A : He used to apologize the next day. He asked me to forgive him, even though he didn’t know what had happened. (laugh)

SEXX GEORGE : Looking back now, he was gentle for the degree he was drunk. He seemed to go on the rampage under the calculation. Even if he got drunk and rages, he kept being nervous.




caption : 兄弟(brother) “bond between them”

narrator : HIDE hid both his hard work and his weak side.

Kiyoshi : He didn’t reveal his true feelings(本音)... hmm... How should I say it?

JOE : He seemed to have tacitly told me not to get any closer.

narrator : A counterpart who doesn’t reveal his true feelings(本音). And his brother Hiroshi Matsumoto who became a manager of Hide without knowing anything.

Hiroshi : At first, I was so nervous that I couldn’t sleep well. He said “You should tell me everything”. Sometimes I was hit the back of my head with hard shoe by him while I was driving. About six times. The reason was that I greet in a small voice. The greeting like “Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu!”. He said “This industry is stricter than it looks. Do it properly!”

Kadono Hasashi (RED SHOES/Rally owner) : Hide’s attitude toward Hiroshi was sometimes too severe.

Enatu Yojo (Security) (* He was in charge of protecting Hide) : Hide didn’t want people would think that he gave Hiroshi preferential treatment because Hiroshi was his brother.

D.I.E : He wouldn’t have been able to treat Hiroshi, who had no knowledge of the music industry, more than just as an errand boy. He seemed to draw Hiroshi into the music industry little by little.

Enatu Yojo (Security) : I think that Hide, in some ways, felt his younger brother was really close to him.

narrator : While he was supposed to live as hide, Hiroshi would be the only place where he could stay as Matsumoto Hideto. The counterpart whom hide could reveal his bare face. "I hope that my brother will grow up to be my colleague. For the future looked ahead."

caption : その先に見据えた未来 (The future looked ahead)







Teemeah

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Reply #59 on: March 07, 2018, 02:25:29 PM
Thank you :) he seems like a very strange guy, indeed. Not close with anyone yet having contact with everyone in the music industry.