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Cover of ToshI's "Amaoto"

Kurenai_Akari · 1045

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Offline Kurenai_Akari

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on: February 06, 2015, 06:01:31 AM
So, this is my first cover that I've released outside of my friends circle and I'm really nervous. I decided to do an English cover of ToshI's "Amaoto" because I had written English lyrics to it around a week ago & I thought it would be somewhat easy to sing because it's so slow. I honestly didn't do any editing to it (mostly because I don't know how) & I used my laptop built-in microphone to sing, so. . . everything is probably low quality.

I hope to receive some constructive criticism & some tips to improve  because I'd really like to become a wonderful singer, just like ToshI himself.
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UA-LsEG_MWQ
« Last Edit: February 09, 2015, 04:58:26 AM by Kurenai_Akari »



Offline Weiyun

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Reply #1 on: May 11, 2016, 08:40:19 PM
Hey, sorry for not noticing this post earlier.

I think you've got a good voice for ballads and you're making a good effort conveying emotion.  If you find joy in doing it, then keep doing it for as long as you can!

Did you translate the lyrics directly from Japanese or come up with something totally different?

Since you asked for some constructive tips, I have a few.  I'm not really a vocalist myself, so take it with a grain of salt, and please don't take any of it the wrong way.

-Your intonation seems to be good once you're in the middle of singing a passage, but sometimes the first few notes are a little off ("If it's possible" at 3:06).  If you play any instruments, I suggest playing the notes you're trying to hit and singing over it.
-Sing a bit louder and project more confidence.  If it's possible and it helps, try to find a time and place where you can be alone (I did notice the message that people were sleeping over.)
-If you have the means and are serious, invest in a good vocal microphone, like this one: http://www.shure.com/americas/products/microphones/sm/sm58-vocal-microphone.

By the way, I've never heard this song before.  This is solo Toshi stuff?  What's the name of the album?
« Last Edit: May 11, 2016, 10:00:36 PM by Weiyun »



Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Reply #2 on: May 19, 2016, 07:58:57 AM
Hey, sorry for not noticing this post earlier.

I think you've got a good voice for ballads and you're making a good effort conveying emotion.  If you find joy in doing it, then keep doing it for as long as you can!

Ah, don't worry about not noticing it. I kinda figured that my cover was either bad or the forum was too dead to gear from anybody. In any case, thank you very much for the compliment & for your encouraging words. It really means a lot to me.

Did you translate the lyrics directly from Japanese or come up with something totally different?

I'd say it's about half & half, if that makes sense? Like I did translate the song on my own to understand the meaning of the song (which was fairly easy since there are a lot repeating words & the lyrics are somewhat straightforward), however I did write my own lyrics to fit the general meaning & emotion of "Amaoto".

Since you asked for some constructive tips, I have a few.  I'm not really a vocalist myself, so take it with a grain of salt, and please don't take any of it the wrong way.

-Your intonation seems to be good once you're in the middle of singing a passage, but sometimes the first few notes are a little off ("If it's possible" at 3:06).  If you play any instruments, I suggest playing the notes you're trying to hit and singing over it.
-Sing a bit louder and project more confidence.  If it's possible and it helps, try to find a time and place where you can be alone (I did notice the message that people were sleeping over.)
-If you have the means and are serious, invest in a good vocal microphone, like this one: http://www.shure.com/americas/products/microphones/sm/sm58-vocal-microphone.

Thank you very much for your advice & the link to the microphone. It's been around a year since I've posted "Amaoto" onto YouTube & NicoNico, but I think I might tweak the cover lyrics a bit so that they flow more easily. Now that I think about it, maybe the lyrics were too compressed & I tried too hard to make them fit into the song's cadence. I admit that it's a reoccurring problem when I write cover lyrics to songs & it's only much later when I realize that it doesn't exactly work, but when I try to fix them, the meaning that I was trying to convey gets lost or just doesn't go along with the song's theme.

By the way, I've never heard this song before.  This is solo Toshi stuff?  What's the name of the album?

Oh yeah, this is a ToshI solo song. It's from his "samurai JAPAN" album. Here's the YouTube link to it from my channel: https://youtu.be/ivh-DSVXy5s
I hope that you can listen to it sometime.