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ToshI to release book "Brainwash ~Comeback from 12 Years of Hell~"

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Offline Hyunkel

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Reply #30 on: September 30, 2014, 12:25:50 PM
Well I'm reading it alongside looking at the livetweet of the Yokohama concert. And seeing photos of Toshi's smiling truthfully I hope is kind of helping through that reading.

This chapter is as depressing as the first one. Plus it refers to the Last Live and hide's death. HOH are the worst kind of people, simply disgusting.

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Man. . . I don't think I'll be able to listen to ToshI & Taro Hakase's colab. album the same way again.

This whole chapter pissed me off more than the last, especially during hide's funeral. . . I just can't put it into proper words.



Offline CreepyKlutz

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I don't think a book has ever made me this depressed.



Offline Hyunkel

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Reply #33 on: November 22, 2014, 09:04:56 AM

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline AsukaMiyu

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So there will be a Chinese version of the book and there is also is also an english one planned! Sounds good!

Also, it was picked as a "selected book" and will be available in libraries all over Japan~

More detailed on Xplosion

...When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter...


Offline Hyunkel

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I just saw that on Xplosion! I'm really looking forward the english translation!

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline Kurenai_Akari

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I'm pretty hyped for a potential official English version & totally happy for the Chinese fans who'll be getting their own version of the book. Hell, I'd totally buy the English version of the book right away or pre-order it when it comes out!

Though I do wonder, was it ToshI's idea or someone else's idea to have an English version of the book? Was there actually a pretty solid demand to warrant an official translation of the book?



Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Chapter four is out.

Get ready people because shit just got real for ToshI

http://www.xjapantranslations.com/brainwashing%E3%80%9C12-years-of-hell-4



Offline AsukaMiyu

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...but thankfully there are some nice parts int hat chapter, too. What he wrote about meeting Yoshiki again for example.
(Sometimes the way he writes is sooo cheesy...! XD)

...When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter...


Offline Hyunkel

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Throughout the reading I thought "well, that chapter is less depressing than the others" but toward the end "yup, nope, I'm gonna need a drink after that".

That's almost unbelievable that Toshi endured all of that.

For me this chapter also had a more "real" feeling because of the recent period of time: 2007-09-10, the X Japan reunion etc.
I was like "No way that was Toshi's situation in 2007/08/09/10/during the concerts".

I'll quote myself: "HOH are the worst kind of people, simply disgusting." I stand by these words, special mention for Moritani and Masaya of course.

Still, a very interesting reading to know what happened during this time.

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline YoshToshBGosh

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Very emotional and shocking read. I agree, it is a bit cheesy, but has anyone read Yoshiki's biography?No comparison!



Offline AsukaMiyu

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Ha, yeah... I still remember very well when this post about Without You showed up on Toshi's website back then.. and Yoshiki's emo-posts on Myspace about not being sure what to do, and the fake happy-couple-pictures and everything...

While I've always been suspicious about HOH and took everything with a grain of salt - who would have guessed that things were THAT bad? It's a miracle Toshi survived all of this... Thank god Masaya's greed fell back on himself and made it possible for Toshi to escape... :/

(...but everything I read about this reunion plans... How the hell could someone set up that kind of plans without the knowledge of the band members? Who was actually behind that in the first place anyway? And how did this TAKEDA guy get into that!? Many of the things that went wrong were because of that guy while he was in Toshi's and X' management.......)

...When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter...


Offline Hyunkel

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Maybe I'll get a proper answer in the next chapters of this book, but did HoH, Masaya and Moritani get sued for other stuff than the trial in this chapter 4?
Considering that they're notorious for being "scammer" and worse + this book that could be used to enlighten their activities, I'm wondering if some other legal actions have been issued against them.

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline Kurenai_Akari

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That's almost unbelievable that Toshi endured all of that.

I agree as well. Honestly, if I ever found myself in his position, especially after meeting that mafia boss I'd probably would've found a way put myself in a grave. (Is "mafia" supposed to be a translation of "yakuza" in this context? I ask because I had heard that Masaya was going to sell ToshI off to the yakuza just like he had said in the book, but I thought that was a rumor.)

After reading this chapter, as much as I don't want to admit it, I ended up crying for a moment or two. When I read a new chapter, I keep thinking that Masaya & Moritani can't get anymore evil than they are, they just surprise me with new lows that I can't seem to grasp. Not much more can be said about them. Those two are evil, plain and simple.

Also, speaking of "putting oneself in a grave", has anyone heard of ToshI doing any self-harm or trying to commit suicide? In this last chapter, when he was having (I think) a panic attack in the bathroom, he had said that he was scratching himself all over his body & drawing blood. . . I ask because I had heard a rumor that at some point during this time, he did try to kill himself at least once or he did dabble in some form of self-harm prior to joining HoH and/or during that time in HoH. I have no direct sources to this rumor, but if I find it, I'll save it & share it here.

For me this chapter also had a more "real" feeling because of the recent period of time: 2007-09-10, the X Japan reunion etc.
I was like "No way that was Toshi's situation in 2007/08/09/10/during the concerts".

You know, now that I think about it, some of it makes sense for me.

Back in 2010, I went to the live filming for "Jade" in Hollywood and I remember someone telling me that the band was using a playback for ToshI's vocals because he wasn't feeling that well. I also think something was said along those lines for the "Born To Be Free" live shooting later that year. If those events really do coincide with the dates then that means that ToshI really was stuck with HoH still & was still facing that abuse. Pardon my language, but holy shit man. . .


Maybe I'll get a proper answer in the next chapters of this book, but did HoH, Masaya and Moritani get sued for other stuff than the trial in this chapter 4?
Considering that they're notorious for being "scammer" and worse + this book that could be used to enlighten their activities, I'm wondering if some other legal actions have been issued against them.

I remember some child abuse/child labor lawsuit being mentioned in the previous chapter or two, but I think those got thrown out because of the lack of evidence or something like that.



Offline Hyunkel

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Yes I remember the lawsuit about child abuse from the previous chapter but, I don't know the current situation of HoH and all, this book can be enough proof to start a case, an investigation etc (considering HoH's past, this book won't just be considered as defamation or something like that) for violence, abuse, extortion, scam, death threat etc.

I'm surprised Toshi didn't have some kind of heart attack or nervous breakdown at some point (I'm pretty sure is kind of having one at the very end of this chapter).


You know, now that I think about it, some of it makes sense for me.

Back in 2010, I went to the live filming for "Jade" in Hollywood and I remember someone telling me that the band was using a playback for ToshI's vocals because he wasn't feeling that well. I also think something was said along those lines for the "Born To Be Free" live shooting later that year. If those events really do coincide with the dates then that means that ToshI really was stuck with HoH still & was still facing that abuse. Pardon my language, but holy shit man. . .


Yes, I guess Toshi's involvement with HoH enlightens a bit why X Japan wasn't doing the expecting comeback at the time (there were other reasons but the singer being involved with these people didn't help for sure).

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline AsukaMiyu

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I guess lots of things were coming together regarding the reunion activities and all the cancelations, but if Toshi was in that state he described - seriously that was way ore important than trying to take over the world! x_X Also, there were these issues with this tour production company (or whatever they were) they held back all the money X earned for many of their post-reunion concerts. That probably didn't help either.

As for Toshi's suicidal thoughts, I think he mentioned that he felt this way. But I doubt he ever tried to do something to himself. Wanting to drop dead and trying to actually hurt or kill yourself don't have to come together. That doesn't really make it better, though....... :/

About HOH - recently were news on the japanese media that Masaya is back but performing under a different name. It's unbelievable that guy isnt in jail!? -_-

...When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter...


Offline Hyunkel

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As for Toshi's suicidal thoughts, I think he mentioned that he felt this way. But I doubt he ever tried to do something to himself. Wanting to drop dead and trying to actually hurt or kill yourself don't have to come together. That doesn't really make it better, though....... :/

About HOH - recently were news on the japanese media that Masaya is back but performing under a different name. It's unbelievable that guy isnt in jail!? -_-

I mean it clearly appear that Toshi was in a constant state of fear, stress, loneliness etc. Even if he wasn't willing to kill himself, sometimes the body itself just shut down for a time, generally the mind or the heart, hence why I talk about heart attack or nervous breakdown.

If Masaya, or whatever he is called now, is back in business, I hope that he's at least kind of watched by whatever authorities is allowed to. That man clearly is dangerous.

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Yes I remember the lawsuit about child abuse from the previous chapter but, I don't know the current situation of HoH and all, this book can be enough proof to start a case, an investigation etc (considering HoH's past, this book won't just be considered as defamation or something like that) for violence, abuse, extortion, scam, death threat etc.

Hmm. Other than the child abuse thing, I don't think that HoH was taken to court for any other reason. I thought that there was another case that had started up because of the book? *shrug*


As for Toshi's suicidal thoughts, I think he mentioned that he felt this way. But I doubt he ever tried to do something to himself. Wanting to drop dead and trying to actually hurt or kill yourself don't have to come together. That doesn't really make it better, though....... :/

About HOH - recently were news on the Japanese media that Masaya is back but performing under a different name. It's unbelievable that guy isnt in jail!? -_-

Yeah, that makes sense.

I think you're right about Masaya. I think I read an article of some sort saying that HoH is officially bankrupt or has become defunct after ToshI left & that Masaya has indeed been working again under a new name. I definitely remember seeing his new name in said article, but I can't remember it. If I find that information again, I'll share it here. (For some reason, I'm tempted to say that I saw that on Tumblr. . .)



Offline AsukaMiyu

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Okay, I looked around a little and his new name is "TAKERU"...  There are a bunch of (japanese) articles and it's also added to his japanese wikipedia article.

Urg, I don't really want to put links to any of his websites here. If anyone wants to have a look at them - google is your friend~

...When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter...


Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Yep. You're right. But luckily, his new ameblo blog got shut down pretty quick, but as for everything else. . .



Offline Kurenai_Akari

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The fifth and final chapter of "Brainwashing" is out!

http://www.xjapantranslations.com/brainwashing%E3%80%9C12-years-of-hell-5



Offline mC

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Finished reading this yesterday...it sounds wrong to say I enjoyed reading the translations but I have to say it is amazing to finally get an understanding of what happened to Toshi over the last decade and a bit. It is horrible and I am so glad that he decided to continue with singing. He really does have a gift and it would have been such a waste to not continue...



Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Finished reading this yesterday...it sounds wrong to say I enjoyed reading the translations but I have to say it is amazing to finally get an understanding of what happened to Toshi over the last decade and a bit. It is horrible and I am so glad that he decided to continue with singing. He really does have a gift and it would have been such a waste to not continue...

I know what you mean & personally speaking, I don't think it's "wrong" for you to enjoy reading the translation to the book. It was enjoyable because, like you said, you, me & everyone else have now learned of Toshi's past & are able to piece together everything that's happened.

I'm also very happy that Toshi had the courage to continue singing even though he felt that it was because of that he became tangled in HoH.



Offline Hyunkel

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That was a really interesting reading, heavy and depressing but enlightening of what happened to Toshi.

I'm genuinely happy that active legal actions have been taken against HoH and cie.
"They must be stopped. That is the purpose of this book." This is what I thought throughout the reading. I hope they'll actually get stopped.

..Close your eyes and I'll kill you in the rain...

...Art of Life An Eternal Bleeding Heart...


Offline CreepyKlutz

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I don't know if this book guilted me into it or not but after reading all of that I suddenly have even more appreciation for the Post-Reunion songs.



Offline Kasumi

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Reply #55 on: November 01, 2016, 06:16:41 PM
That was a really interesting reading, heavy and depressing but enlightening of what happened to Toshi.

I'm genuinely happy that active legal actions have been taken against HoH and cie.
"They must be stopped. That is the purpose of this book." This is what I thought throughout the reading. I hope they'll actually get stopped.
I've read the book just recently and felt the same. Reading was very intense and I do hope the purpose of the book gets 100% fulfilled...

While I'm away, read this line again...


Offline nb

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Reply #56 on: November 01, 2016, 07:09:09 PM
I don't think a book has ever made me this depressed.

this.

finished it a couple month ago.

(...) I'm really looking forward the english translation!

...and because yoshiki isn't involved, we have a real chance to get the english version!!  ;)


positively unsure。


Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Reply #57 on: November 04, 2016, 09:32:22 AM
(...) I'm really looking forward the english translation!

...and because yoshiki isn't involved, we have a real chance to get the english version!!  ;)

Yikes! That was cold blooded! Hahah, anyways. . . It's been about two years since the book was released, any word on that official English translation?



Offline AsukaMiyu

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Reply #58 on: November 04, 2016, 08:09:19 PM
No news about an english version release... :/ Honestly speaking, I doubt that it will happen.

...When the morning begins
I'll be in the next chapter...


Offline mC

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Reply #59 on: November 04, 2016, 09:15:54 PM
Yea, I don't think an official English release will happen now. However, if X explode worldwide, there might be enough demand for it?