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ToshI to release book "Brainwash ~Comeback from 12 Years of Hell~"

friday · 18967

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Teemeah

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Did you guys see this video? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7EnE2DRzRc There was a press conf of one and a half hours where he talked about his experiences with an English interpreter translating LIVE.



Offline nb

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Yes, I've found it on bis wikipedia page :)


positively unsure。


Offline Kurenai_Akari

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Yeah. I've seen the video too a couple of years ago when the book was gaining traction. If there's one thing that should be watched was the made for TV reenactment of the book.



Offline matsumoto

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TL;DR: Toshi is recording in LA and is crazily homesick, under a ridiculous amount of pressure from Yoshiki to sing in perfect English and whatnot. Family problems ensue. A seemingly emotionally deranged woman he once sang with starts sending him sappy letters. He gets married and doesn't tell anyone. The woman slowly sucks the guy into the cult of this charismatic Masaya dude who realizes how fragile/dumb/naive Toshi is and makes him his slave. Toshi gets beaten up pretty bad, announces he's leaving X. Hide gets mad but later tries to understand and inject some sense into that pinhead of a guy but oh shit, he dies. Yoshiki and the others go MIA. Toshi lives like a dog for 10 years. Masaya tries to sell him to the mafia. A money-hungry ex-manager spreads rumors of a X reunion. Toshi hands over the money to cult, still gets beaten up. X reunites but Toshi is still getting beaten up. Runs from a hospital in extremis and goes to hide at a random doctor's house. Still has no money. Yoshiki is still MIA. Toshi has an epiphany. Divorces pretend-to-be-wife, Masaya loses lawsuit. Toshi is now poor, suffering from PTSD and has his face covered in scars, presumably the reason his sunglasses won't come off.

Yeah, so I just finished reading the translation. Seriously, poor guy.



Teemeah

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Yeah, I just re-read the translation last night, because previously I only scanned through it, trying to escape the details of the beatings. I read it now in full and oh man, this is seriously disturbing and the most disturbing of it all is that he had NO ONE to rely on. They cut him off from family and friends, so he would have nowhere to go. And - that even after X reunition and picking up his friendship with Yoshiki, he STILL didn't turn to Yoshiki for help. Why didn't he call Yoshiki from the hospital and told him what's going on? That he ws kidnapped and beaten and threatened and that he needs help? I don't think Yoshiki would have turned him down. He would have probably sent a bunch of bodyguards and flew him out to LA where Masaya cannot exercise any control. They really do not talk at all, and that's NOT friendship. It's just being colleagues and work acquaintances....  :( :'( I'm glad he got out of HOH and could rebuild his life, but he still seems to be lonely as ever.



Offline matsumoto

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Pretty much this. A guy as famous as he was, I'd image he had a ton of rich and influential friends ready to help him. Again, it only goes to show how lonely celebs can be. The beating scenes were really strong. I wonder what kind of state of mind you have to be in to accept to live like that and think it's for the best. I suppose it's a combination of having risen to fame too young, never really having experienced reality as we know it, having no network of real friends without second intentions, feeling betrayed by your family and being convinced that you are a real piece of shit. And let's not forget how bad a twisted significant other can mess with you.

Yoshiki acts pretty strange during the whole ordeal too, IMO. If the description is to be believed. Don't they mention it 10 times in every interview how they grew up together and are BFFs and everything? The guy accepts it with a pretty blank face that Toshi leaves X, watches his downfall, is presumably aware of his desperate situation and Masaya's lawsuits through the media yet only contacts him for work. Either the BFFs thing is a bit exaggerated or Yoshiki was kind of scared shitless Masaya would scam him too and destroy his image.



Teemeah

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The BFF thing is exaggerated, I think. They are childhood friends but in the docu they mention that they did go to the same schools but were not really talking or playing together until they both realized that they like Kiss' music and started thinking about making music. They were classmates, not BFFs. Yoshiki likes to call X his family but in reality, he hardly contacts them outside work, if ever. Even if Toshi left and they broke up, why would that mean he has to cut contact with the other members, too? They didn't even talk a lot with hide, only once in a few month's time on the phone for 2 minutes. Neither did he contact Pata or Heath during those 10 years. He only contacted them when they were about to re-establish X Japan. I don't think he followed Toshi's life/work in those times, either. He pretty much closed himself into his studio in America, and that was it. That's not how a family works. Yoshiki either has a very twisted idea of what a family means or he is bullshitting because it's sounds good to draw more sympathy. In any case, Toshi didn't approach him either, as a friend. He didn't percieve him as someone who would help him get out of HOH, even 2 years after working together again. He would rather choose to accept help and money from strangers than call Yoshiki for help. Tells a lot about their real realtionship, I think. If I were in big trouble and I wouldn't be able to reach my family or had no family to rely on, i would ask my best friend for help. The fact Toshi didn't ask Yoshiki means that he does not consider hi a friend he can share his probems with.  :( and from the interactions it also seems like Yoshiki is not receptive to the problems of others, either. He didn't even ask Toshi what happened to him in HOH... or offer him a lawyer's help or something.



Offline matsumoto

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Yup, well, I guess we finally found something Yoshiki is not good at. Being a BFF, huh.

Don't know much about how their relationships unfolded after they disbanded. Heath and Pata were clearly talking and played in more than one band together. Hide and Pata also played together in Spread Beaver. Looks like the strings guys survived the breakup pretty well. They seemed to be way less melodramatic than our dear X founders. Hide and Yoshiki seemed to be talking too, Hide was supposedly looking for a new vocalist for X (presumably when he wasn't drunk off his bony ass or writing songs about dildos). Yoshiki seemed to have permanently moved to LA at the time and was already working on the mysterious Violet UK thing. Not to bash the guy, but I always thought he was too ambitious and cosmopolitan to stay in Japan or work exclusively with the Japs. His former bandmates probably represented exactly what he didn't want to associate with anymore: a Jap way of living and thinking. Hide might have been slightly different but hey, let's face it, his alien-porn-pink-speed-gore style wasn't much in like with Yoshiki's polished-rock-fashion-hot-western-models style.

People change, musicians change, your creative thinking and direction change, there's nothing wrong with that. However, a good part of Yoshiki's guilt-fueled depression seems to stem from that creative breakup rather than the personal tragedies of his bandmembers. He seems to mix up the two a bit too often with his "why wasn't I there when it happened" way of thinking. You weren't there because you can't stop the Earth from orbiting the sun, bro.



Teemeah

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There is nothing wrong with all of that, I agree. Nothing wrong if you consider your bandmates only that: bandmates. replacable and easy to forget about. But if you keep repeating that your band is your family, then that would suggest you actually care about them outside work, too. He clearly didn't care enough about Toshi to recognize he was drifting away (though it took HOH FOUR YEARS to get a firm grasp on him), nor did he care enough to see that the guy was struggling to escape HOH in 2010. He had an ongoing divorce and a bankrupcy - neither process is short, it takes months, sometimes years to finish these court procedures. All this time, total strangers helped Toshi get his life back on track. His supposedly BFF was nowehere to be seen, neither does Toshi mention him at all in his book as even an emotional supporter. He only mentions him once, when all are finished and they briefly talk about Toshi having these issues and even then, Yoshiki quickly turns the conversation to "I also had problems". I, I, I. At the end of the day, he is only interested in his own problems. A normal friend would just offer some sort of comforting to a friend who suffered through emotional, physical and mental abuse for 12 years. All he offered Toshi was a brief pat in the back and then started talking about his own problems.  :-\ That's not friendship, and ths kind of attitude has nothing to do with him changing as a creative artist into an other direction. This just tells two things: 1. high ego and 2. not being real friends. IMHO.



Offline matsumoto

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You might be right, Teemeah. But one cannot forget that Toshi's problems were not only of the my-dog-died-and-now-I'm-sad kind of problems. He was associated with a dangerous man and a dangerous cult with connections to the mafia and possibly influential figures. I don't fully blame Yoshiki for saving his ass and not wanting to associate with it at all. Yes, it's a little selfish to let a friend go because you're afraid of the toll it might take on your own life, but sometimes you just have to put yourself first or you'll go down with the whole ship. Yoshiki has a very good name in Japan and worldwide. No scandals, no known enemies, no accounts of having raped a hotel maid, watched childporn, not having paid tax yada yada. An angry Masaya & Co. could have easily spread a nasty rumor about him and ultimately destroy his career.

Toshi's account might not be 100% accurate either. Maybe he had a lot left to say about his friend but didn't want to bring their own friendship issues out there like that. Toshi is utimately a nice guy, it seems. Low self-esteem, used to being treated like an underling. Not the kind that can bring himself to write and then I told that bastard about the whole ordeal and he said 'oh I have problems too, like botox went wrong last week and my ten model girlfriends are fighting over my credit card' and I felt like punching his face'. That being said, Yoshiki's problems go unmentioned. Maybe he had problems for real that the public doesn't know of. What do we know of his problems after all? Spine issues? His dad died 40 years ago? His guitarist friend died 20 years ago? Those are not problems. They're just stuff that happens and that make you sad for a while but you can live with it. If he had real, huge ongoing problems, he wouldn't have put them out there. I don't know. Cancer, disease, drug addiction, crazy ex-gf running away with his money, mother being old and sick, friendships going sour, major issues with management, people trying to scam him, Japanese media digging for scandals about him for the tabloids, hemorrhoids, you name it. That's the kind of stuff you can go through and yet you don't put it out there.

That being said, yup, he has a strange idea of what a family is like. In the documentary he mentions that he asked Taiji to play with X one last time because he'd heard Taiji was going crazy with his drinking and might not have lived very long. What. You ask someone to play a concert with you because you know they might kick the bucket anytime? That's weird. Oh, you're about to get yourself killed, let's play together one last time bro? Because like, the fans would totally love to relive that moment when you're dead. Huh.



Teemeah

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 :D :D :D :D

Yeah, I think it makes sense, too. And you are right, we don't know the fulll story and will never know the deepest feelings of either parties. We can just munch on our own theories and keep guessing. Yeah I guess Yoshiki had a lot of trouble with X reunion and all the rights issues with hide's management and that scandal of X Japan not being paid by the organizer, so yeah. Still, to me, it's not true friendship if you try to save your own ass and let your supposedly best friend sink with the ship. He has a lot of acquaintances, a lot connections in Japan and in the US too. If he so wanted, he could have secretly helped Toshi, without the media or Masaya knowing about it. Or - maybe he did, who knows? He may have helped Toshi with money when he went bankrupt and Toshi is just not mentioning this in the book because of Masaya and co. ? Who knows. :) I'm just thinking and jotting my theories down. :)

The one thing I still don't understand for real is why Masaya and Moritani are still not rotting in jail???? They KIDNAPPED him, there is evidence that they had used physical violence and scammed him out of money. That alone could grant around 10 years in prison if that happened in my country... Paying compensation as a result of a lost lawsuit is not enough punishment for these scumbags. They should have been prosecuted for scamming people and put behind bars.

Yeah, he does have a twisted sense of what family means... It is rather sad :(



Offline matsumoto

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Yeah, we don't know. He might have pulled some strings or he might have done nothing. In either case, Toshi's book is not that good for Yoshiki's image. Kind of portrays him as a jackass, maybe unintentionally. I kind of dislike it when celebs write books where they mention other celebs. Hide's brother wrote a book about him that also portrays Hide as a total jackass. I'm no celeb, but I hope nobody ever writes a book about me  ;)

No idea what happened to Masaya and Moritani in the wake of their trial and Toshi's book. There's not much about it on the internet. I don't know if Toshi could prove it all though. It's hard to prove that you've been beated unless you file a report in the coming days and get the injuries checked by a doctor. It's also hard to prove that they scammed him. In the eyes of the law, he gave his money away intentionally, to a cause he was part of and believed in. As for the kidnapping, he would need witness statements that reported him missing or at least realized he was missing, statements from people who saw him being beaten, phone records of the abusive phonecalls... it's always pretty difficult to prove a cult guilty because after all, people who take part in them do so willingly.  :(



Teemeah

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Yeah. I hope karma comes back to them one day. And that Toshi will be able to live a truly happy life onwards, though it may be pretty tough to live with all the guilt and the memories of beatings and humiliation. He is probably scarred for life.  :(



Offline matsumoto

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Don't know if I believe in scarred for life. Or maybe I do, but scarred for life doesn't mean in pain for the rest of your life.
Little Toshi is a tough cookie, though. Look at him. If I was in his shoes I'd be in a mental hospital tied to the bed and being fed benzos with a feeding tube. He's wearing his cool leather and playing concerts and doing cool stuff. Way to go, Tosh!



Teemeah

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Indeed, I adore him for being able to stand up, face his past and move on. I think it also gives strength to fans who may struggle with life issues. It helps to see that your idol fell to the deepest pits, suffered immense pain and still stood up and went on living. immense kudos to Toshi. A lot of people would have committed suicide in such an abusive relationship he was in.



Offline matsumoto

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Toshi deserves way more appreciation than he's getting. I really like the dude. Maybe because he's tiny and I'm tiny too and we both like food. Toshi, let's be friends, I won't take your money.  ;D



Teemeah

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Toshi should opena  restaurant! Seriously, his instafood is droolworthy. I would give anything if he cooked a meal once for me :P (Toshi-chan, I can teach you Hungarian recipes. Will you take me as a disciple?)  8)



Offline matsumoto

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He should start a cooking blog. Now, I'm pretty sure that one reads here, too. His last Instagrams are of him cooking breakfast. ;)
Also, he has a Beauty and the Beast tea set. HOW CUTE IS THAT. Toshi is seriously a human teddy bear.



Teemeah

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I was rofling so hard when I saw that tea set :D I mean, seriously :DDDD Tohi-chaaaaaaan, I want to hug you :)



Offline matsumoto

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Toshi is the most huggable X member ever.
I WANT TO PINCH HIS CHEEKS AND FEED HIM A COOKIE!  ;D



Teemeah

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I'd do more than just picnhing his cheeks if I ever got to touch him LOL :P (*hides in embarrassment*)



Offline matsumoto

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No no nononono, he's too cute to be sexy, he looks like a squirrel.



Teemeah

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No no nononono, he's too cute to be sexy, he looks like a squirrel.

Noo, not true :) he has his sexy moments.  ;) and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, which in itself is a sexy thing to me.



Offline matsumoto

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Agree that he seems like a really nice guy. If I liked guys, I'd totally consider him husband material. Plus he can cook. Plus he can sing. Plus he's five feet tall. Plus he likes little dogs!  ;D



Teemeah

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Plus he is probably the only somewhat normal member of X Japan :D He doesn't drink alcohol (does he smoke? I haven't seen such photos of him, ever), he doesn't have weird habits like Yoshiki and Sugizo and he looks SANE :D To be honest, I never understood how he got into singing heavy metal in the first place. This guy is a honey chocolate cookie in a bowl of raw meat :D



Offline matsumoto

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Perfect analogy, Teemeah! Nope, he doesn't smoke or drink, he's mentioned it before that he abstains from those in order to protect his singing voice.

Never really understood how come he got into metal in the first place either. Probably because his friend Yoshiki dragged him into it, later found he had a great singing voice and boom! A rather reluctant star is born. Funny thing, Hide and Yoshiki have mentioned in interviews that he didn't really know how to dress or act on stage. Those two needed to tell him what to do, how to shout, to run around or dance this or that way... If I remember correctly, Yoshiki did mention at some point that he was clueless about how to do his stage hair and makeup, so Hide did that for him. Reason why in the early 90s they had similar hairstyles with puffy bleached blond hair with a pink streak and a black headband to conceal the roots.

In another video in the late 80s, when asked what they do with their free time while on tour, everybody raves about drinking and girls and whatnot, Toshi said "I like sightseeing, visiting castles and stuff like that". YOU CINNAMON ROLL, TOSHI.



Teemeah

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Aww, he's my kinda guy :) Too bad he got that snake for a wife. He deserves a woman who can appreciate him. I hope he will find her one day :) It's never too late.

And you know, it must have sucked to be the only sober member, having to be responsible for the drunken sh*t your band members do like dismantling bars and engaging in brawls. I always hate to be in a bunch of people who get drunk and then I have to watch them behave like animals. It is quite understandable he had a hard time adjusting to celebrity life, when he is just a regular guy wishing to live a regular life.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2017, 10:49:54 AM by Teemeah »



Offline Joker

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Reply #87 on: September 02, 2017, 02:56:27 AM
Never really understood how come he got into metal in the first place either. Probably because his friend Yoshiki dragged him into it, later found he had a great singing voice and boom!

I don't remember if it was on Toshi's or Yoshiki's book, but the real story behind is that Yoshiki was almost giving up from X and Toshi convinced him to go to Tokyo and keep trying.  So the three (Terry was with them) went to Tokyo to work with the band.



Offline nb

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Reply #88 on: September 03, 2017, 07:44:36 PM
Never really understood how come he got into metal in the first place either. Probably because his friend Yoshiki dragged him into it, later found he had a great singing voice and boom!

I don't remember if it was on Toshi's or Yoshiki's book, but the real story behind is that Yoshiki was almost giving up from X and Toshi convinced him to go to Tokyo and keep trying.  So the three (Terry was with them) went to Tokyo to work with the band.

It was in Y's book :-)


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Offline matsumoto

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Reply #89 on: September 25, 2017, 10:37:25 AM
Nice... is there a translation of Y's book? Even if it's a fan translation?