Now that Toshi's autobio is out, we know that he was really uncomfortable on stage but not because of being forced to the the live but because of the cult watching the perforance. I guess it must have been hard on all of them, and especially Yoshiki, to lose a friend he had cherished since kindergarten, only to stand on stage again with him a few months later. And in the autobio he says that in the group talk when he announced his decison to all the members, he told them that rock music cannot save lives. I can only guess how hurtful this could have been to Yoshiki - the one person who was surely saved from suicide by rock music. It could have felt like a knife stab into his heart - by his oldest friend... Watching the last live, he has so much anger in his movements, the way he smashes his kit. I don't think any of them were happy to that show, and if they did, they only did it for the fans. Must have been really awkward to walk around Toshi that day...